Come On Ye May-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Dens!

The Author

Whoever named the Ghana Under-17 women's football team “The Black Maidens” must have been a man of advanced years.

For the word “maiden” appears to do all sorts of things to the imagination of such men!

Let me just give you an example: why did those aristocratic types who drew up the rules of the game of cricket choose the word “maiden” to describe an 'Over' in which no 'Runs' have been scored? You get the picture painted by the “association” of words?

I am quite certain that “maiden” was not the word that originally came to their minds, but in order not to betray the similarity between their sport and a certain game that goes on, usually at night, they cleverly camouflaged their true meaning by choosing a word that nearly rhymed with the original they had intended to use!

What?

Yes! Readers who are somewhat slow will permit me to disclose that they probably had “virgin” in mind but that the preoccupation with that state of womanhood found in some religious organisations must have counselled them not to make their meaning too obvious. Hence “maiden”!

All right, all right – I just think the guy(s) who named the Black Maidens did a hell of a good job. They are mistresses of the ball! In the words of a headline I chanced upon:

QUOTE:“Ruthless Black Maidens Wallop[ed] Djibouti 19-0 On Aggregate To Qualify For FIFA World Cup 2018”! UNQUOTE

19-0!? It's the sort of score that sends the mind of a grand seigneur back fifty good years or so, no? However, impressive as that incredible feat against Djibiouti was, it was the Black Maidens' performance against Uruguay on 13 November 2018 that set me trembling like a leaf on which a nectar-sucking hummingbird had just landed:

QUOTE: Ghana got off to a flying start at the 2018 Fifa Under-17 Women's World Cup, following a 5-0 thrashing of [the] hosts, URUGUAY...The win has put Ghana [on]top of Group 'A'.UNQUOTE

I am afraid I have to criticise my fellow members of the “inky fraternity” a bit, for none of the reports I have seen so far has managed to connect this great humiliation of Uruguay by Ghana in front of her home crowd, to that amazing match in the World Cup game in 2010.

In that match, a certain Luis Suarez villainously stopped a goal that Ghana was scoring, by turning himself into a second Uruguayan goal-keeper! Were it not for that blatant cheating by Suarez, Ghana would have been the first African country ever to progress to the semi-finals of a World Cup Tournament.

As the case was, the referee did send Suarez off and he did also award a penalty against Uruguay. But the drama had shot the nerves of our Captain, Asamoah Gyan to pieces and he failed to score with the penalty!

I maintain that FIFA ought to resolve the issue of the deliberate prevention of a certain goal, in order to crease natural justice in the game. Sending Suarez off and awarding a penalty are the punishments that the rules currently provide. Technically. But that does not mean that those rules are right.

For even though both a sending-off and a penalty are crucial punishments that can impede the victory of the offending team, those are risks that can produce either a victory or a defeat.

Whereas a ball in the net is a certain goal – with no conditions attached!

Equally, extra time and a penalty shoot-out also contain a risk element, unlike a ball in the net which, I repeat, is absolutely – a ball in the net!

But don't take my word for it. This is how a foreign commentator viewed the farce:

QUOTE:The infamous handball that stopped an African dream

The stage was finally set. Africans around the world and those who had taken on the Black Stars ... were cheering [on] the men in red. The ball looked so close to crossing the line. And then, in just a moment, it was all taken away.

The Hand of God 2.0, as some will fable (sic), had risen from the grave in the form of another young South American. Luis Suárez, in a last ditch effort to save his country’s place in the World Cup, took it upon himself to become the illegal goalkeeper and batted the ball out of the net with his arms, stunning viewers all over the world.

Some Ghanaians, preparing to rejoice, were stopped cold... Yet there was another chance for redemption....The pressure... shifted to Asamoah Gyan, but unfortunately, the soccer gods did not deem it his day. The penalty missed off the bar, and the final whistle for regular time blew.... Overtime was a grind and ended scoreless, leading to the ever dreaded penalty shootout... With the pressure of their entire nation riding on each player's back, they stepped up and did what they [had] probably practised hundreds of times on the practice pitch.

Kingston – Ghana’s keeper who had done extraordinarily well during the cup – was unfortunately not able to carry the team into the semis. Uruguay rejoiced, while Ghana was left with the bitterest of tastes in its mouth.... This team [had] shown the world that Africans can be superstar names, and deservedly so....With the stage set and the Black Stars in form, Africa had [entertained] hope like never before. They made it through group stages handily, and even knocked the United States out of the tournament.... They were making a statement that Africa belongs at the forefront of footballer

And Suarez had taken it all away!

Well, the Black Maidens have progressed further by beating Finland 3-1. If you have not been watching, please do. The matches are available on DSTV but if you miss a live match, try to find the highlights on www.youtube.com

Whilst you are on Youtube, you could entertain yourself immensely by trying to find the following cricketers bowl maiden Overs: Shane Warne, Abdul Qadir, and Muttaih Muralitharan. Enjoy, enjoy! Who would you say was the best? Don't just look at the number of wickets they took. Look at their wiles! In my opinion,. Abdul Qadir was the most crafty, what with his moving his fingers to his lips even as he crossed one leg with the other – all meant to distract the batsman. But then, Warne and Murali.... Ah, Lord, please give us more bowlers like them! Maidens were certainly not safe, with them around!