Building A Solid Love Relationship By Knowing The Common Controversies About It

Love relationship as a subject matter is a very sensitive matter that defies accurate and holistic understanding. They are diversified postulations and analyses on the subject matter, some sounding very convincing but unpractical, very simplistic but complex, philosophical but not limiting among others. I think the subjective and objective analyses and understanding of love relationship are largely determinants of our environment or background.

It is psychologically justifiable that our environment has a powerful influence in our general perception and appreciation of ourselves and activities surrounding it. As long as the subject matter remains overly complicated, we as agents of diverse backgrounds must not keep to ourselves, our various experiences. This is the motivation behind my attempt, today, to highlight some actions and inactions that can make and unmake our relationship

To start with, in my interaction with a friend who happens to be an opposite sex, she intimated that love relationship should be initiated by good character and that one must choose a love one base on character attraction. I consider her position, that of a typical theologian who uses morality as the standard for human definition. I however disagree vehemently to the proponents of character and morality as the standard true personality in relationship. Such a limitation of definition can be very dangerous when it comes to the sustainability of love relationship.

In my humble opinion, though character plays a pivotal role in every human relationship and especially to love relationship, physical attraction can never be ruled out. Any attempt to undermine physical attraction will only amount to self deception, pretence and hypocrisy. The most hypocritical act in life is ever to deceive your mind and soul. Man is created to be attracted and it is that spirit of attraction that bonds people in relationship. I always insist that physical attraction comes before any other thing. You get to know somebody's character better if you are attracted and hence have the desire to know their holistic being.

Consider this simple scenario. How do you buy a nice shirt in the market? In my understand, which I believe is a resonation of many others is that there are many nice shirts in the market but one certainly appeals to your sense of sight and motivates you to get closer, look at its texture, and begin to bargain base on affordability. You may disagree with this logic but that is commonly fundamental in selecting good products.

How do you then undermine physical attraction in nurturing relationship? Ignoring attraction at the infant stage of relationship could be very detrimental to the sustainability of that relationship. That is the reason why cheating in relationship is on the ascendency and is now even done as if it is morally and culturally justifiable.

More importantly, communication in relationship is very significant. Many people who are ignorant about the effects of communication or undermine its impacts end up facing many problems in their relationship. It is incontestable that many of such relationship predicaments emanate from the inability of parties to communicate effectively. Lack of effective communication creates a vast gap in relationships. You need not hide your feelings from your partner. Speak out and don't allow silence to ruin your relationship. When you keep your feelings to yourself, it remains a catalyst to your emotions and can later be more eruptive than a volcanic action. Silence will also give you prolong anger and can subsequently ignite vulgar language. Assertiveness, tolerance, honesty and truth must be the primary components of your quest to communicate effectively with your love one. The lack of these, you would be slowly bargaining for a "broken heart" and its attendant consequences.

Primarily, the influence of friends and relatives to your relationship is a double edge sword. People are fairly or sometimes unfairly interested in your relationship. While others have an interest in contributing positively to your life through your relationship, others are very committed to absolutely ruining it. On the part of ladies, many of them are emotionally oriented and needlessly covetous with others' relationship. Such people discuss issues with emotions and end up leaving out the substance, merit and significance. While you must learn to maintain a balance between your relationship with others and that of your love one, you must be selective in influences from friends. Some do not just wish you well! Some enemies are just better than some friends because your enemies stay away from you but friends who extend false generosity to you in your relationship can ruin you completely. Watch out my brother and sister.

Let me conclude by saying that a healthy and enviable relationship is enhanced by continuous learning. Make a conscious effort to learn and build your relationship, no matter what you are facing now. Every problem should be a motivation to learn for improvement. Be ready to embrace problems because they are key components to any human relationship.

Shall be back.........
Denis Andaban
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Tel: +233549734023