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17.03.2017 Feature Article

The Cricifixion Of Mr. Obiri According To Verses In His Holy Book By Hassan

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Politicians go to elections with manifestoes detailing what they intend to do after mandates are legally given. A manifesto is a book of promises and as such qualify to be the holy books of politicians. The promises may be quantifiable, semi quantifiable and non-quantifiable. His Excellency Mr. Obiri Adjei Michael won the last year elections with his holy book and the students expected him to hold this book dear as though it was his girlfriend. His mandate is on a comfortable lead to expiration and I thought it is my right as a student to constructively criticize his performance after all even an average Ghanaian at Vunania can write a letter to President Akufo Addo without being hauled before a committee. Where do I begin? From the beginning!

As clever and as concerned as you were last year, you saw that our campus was dirty and the earlier it was tackled couldn’t not have been anything better than ever. I roam on campus a lot especially in the night when in the process of learning, I hit a programming or an accounting hiccup. The dustbins are gradually becoming rubbish to be thrown into a landfill side at Okponglo. They are broken. Some of them are without covers. Some of them are filled to the brim with rubbers of sachets water by law abiding students but zoomlion always delay in picking them. Zoomlion is in charged with the emptying of the trash cans, Your Excellency, this is dictum and as such should not be objected to but what about if you had used your communication and lobbying skills in getting this done earlier for your followers to feel served because I clearly remember you have ever lobbied for dustbins from zoomlion Ghana somewhere last year during which time your appetite was unbridled to occupy this highest office of the school. This abstract intercourse I am having with you even reminds me of a certain committee in our law book called “Welfare committee”. Where is their welfare when the washroom behind NH2 is growing bigger with stench? The chair of the committee didn’t not know his functions when he was appointed? Welfare doesn’t mean you should care only about the sitting allowances of yourselves. Of equally weighty, is making sure that wash rooms are without provocative stenches capable of hospitalizing the student at War Memorial. My last encounter with the committee was somewhere last trimester when they came to extract data from me as a nonresident student with a questionnaire which will help them in dealing with private hostels. I was happier than the one who delegated this to them through their chairman because as a voter I should be extremely glad to see the one I voted for succeed and too, it was “pragmatic renewal” of hope towards fighting for nonresident students.

This was a campaign promise I was so much interested in because I am a true-blue fan of the renowned Kenyan anticorruption campaigner, Professor Lumumba. Can you imagine I always compensate the merciless mosquitoes’ sting with extra acquired knowledge at the “the shade under shade project” every night whenever the facility is not dysfunctional by watching him on YouTube? Yes! Because I have realized that certificates don’t think for their owners so I thought it wise to always learn something different from what I am thought here. I was like the guy whose crush openly propose to him even he was not having the oomph to do same when you entered my hostel at George Wark and promised this. Unfortunately, it never occurred to me that it was meant to capture my thumbprint against Mr. Obiri’s name on the ballot paper on the day of voting. The facility is not extended to even a length of 0.5mm. The strength of the signal at Savana Hall is poor. I won’t mention Ecowas Hall because if those who are supine cannot see God, how much more those lying on their stomachs? It still serves students who decide to move closer to it. If you want to be served, then you have to become a miniature of Mohammed by going to the mountain otherwise the mountain will not come to you. Sir, you could have done something smart in partial fulfillment of this promise by increasing the strength of the signal. What about even wiring the place with plugs to help my kind who are using desktops in laptops form but have to submit assignments via email or download lecture materials like we always love to do? I don’t know whether you are catholic, but I would have hailed and praised you like the way Virgin Mary is hailed and praised in Catholicism. De facto, my happiness will have been peerless if you had done that after all there is nothing wrong and dubious with improving on someone’s achievement so far as you are all fighting for the future of the campus and too governance is a process and not an event.

What happened to this brilliant idea? How many benefitted? You are a politician and so I expected you to let the entire student body here your achievements with this brilliant idea. You should have shouted the touted achievements to us with a bullhorn. The public relations officer should let us know this by writing to the general student populace. I wish I had the number of beneficiaries of this brilliant idea but it is rather cataclysmal. Silence means concern. It couldn’t achieve its purpose. Finito!

I think a student who has ever registered and attend the lecture of MTH 101 will tell you the need of this system. Its contribution in maturing the voice of the lecturer much to the hearing of the back benchers cannot be discountenanced. You have failed with this promise too because even at your programs I still see the PA system that was bought by one of your predecessors. If you cannot find the resource to buy something like this, how much more investing in projects that are capital expenditure oriented. The white formica boards are not in a bad shape like your governance style so purchasing new ones was needless. Please, Mr. Obiri, a satisfied need is no longer a want.

Thank you for successfully experimenting your political career by using Navrongo campus as the lab and the students as guinea pigs. You must not forget about Oluwa because he made your vision a reality. They are two people who are quite aware that you have failed but one among them is Pecksniffian. The first person is me; I strongly believed that you are a fantastic failure. The other person is with me on this but she is being dishonest, that’s your girlfriend! You promised heaven but you have delivered hell. I strongly believed that if we want the five-year development plan to work, then it must be backed with a constitutional or legislative instrument such that no SRC president can abandon it and do otherwise. Incoming entertainment committee must save us cost by buying a permanent system for the SRC unlike the annual ritual of hiring from private people for the SRC week. Please, dear reader, don’t run to his defense by pointing at the bureaucratic procedures involved in getting funds from the central administration just because our campus is not an autonomy. He knew it very well but still decided to hoodwink the general student body to believe in his ideas so no mercy for the cripple.

And to those who think one should seek the consent of the Vice Dean of Students or the PRO before writing an article about SRC affairs, you are all losers! I find it extremely labyrinthine to grade your intellectuality on a scale of 1-10. Do IMANI Ghana write to the presidency before publishing an opinion? In like manner, do Institute of Fiscal Studies do same before writing on the state of the Ghanaian economy? Absolutely not! Perhaps I was right by captioning my last article as “IN THE LAND OF OBIRICRACY; EVERYTHING DESERVE AN OBITUARY!”. This way of thinking is what always make my senior colleagues columnists to always describe you in their articles as “idiots” or always wrapping up their articles with “THIS FOOLISHNESS MUST STOP.” You can imagine a government without critics. It will amount to a governance style of totalitarianism! Let me summarized everything for you; giving the politician a freewill to operate is tantamount to giving car keys and bottles of whiskey to teenagers. They will send your car to Suame Magazine!

The writer is a friend of politics.
The writer is a struggling computing-with-accounting student.

The writer has zero-tolerance for incompetent leadership.

The writer is a columnist with Ghana web.

Alhassan Andani Alhassan
Alhassan Andani Alhassan, © 2017

The author has 24 publications published on Modern Ghana. Column Page: AlhassanAndaniAlhassan

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