Finding A Life Partner

The two most difficult matters that confront today's person are related to finding 'a paying job' and also finding 'a life partner'. These matters are the greatest worrier of the modern person.

The young person, apart from material possession, would seek spiritual help: traditional or Orthodox, to locate his life companion. We would go to the pastors, prophets , seers and mallams for some help to have our life partners. The anointing oils from these places are well merchandized as solution to this need. The smart ones are milking fat on the situation.It is difficult.

The truth is that finding a life partner has always been difficult since the beginning of the man. The book of Genesis talks about how Jacob had to submit himself to a seven (7) year servitude for a wife. Even that, in the end , he was cheated out by his in-law.

I guess that older generations knew how daunting it was for one to single-handedly embark on a search for a wife, that is why societies in the past made this whole process of contracting marriages a communal affair. That , one's decision for a life partner shouldn't be about what one wants but must also be considered alongside the interest of the families and societies that are brought together by a single marriage .

That is why one , in the past, would ,at least , seek the thought of one's father, mother, aunties and uncles in taking a wife or husband.

Actually, in the past, any of these above, could single- handedly pick a wife or husband for you. This practice seems universal.

The Parliament of Great Britain passed a Royal Marriage Act 1772, to prescribe conditions under which members of the British Royal Family could contract a valid marriage in order to guard against marriages that could diminish the status of the royal house.

Thus, finding a love partner has always been a communal affair even among the royals in Great Britain. It has never been ones prerogative to choose his life partner.

Unfortunately, the modern person seems to be rejecting this cultural practice that has been with us and has inured to the benefit of society. Today's person would not want to hear being offered help in his/ her selection of his/ her life partner. We wouldn't accept a proposal from our fathers, uncles or aunties to this effect. We believe these people are out of tune of our new refined world. They wouldn't appreciate the trending qualities the modern person should look out for in seeking a life partner.

Actually, we even think these unrefined family members are the brains behind our inability to find our life partners. We have been made to believe that our inability to settle down in some meaningful relationships is because of the envious uncles and aunties in our family.

So, the pastors would give us ' directions' to follow to get the curses lifted from us.

But what we don't appreciate is that these uncles and aunties could be our help in finding what we want. They are our family members. They wish for our good. They would like to bask in the pride of being present at our marriage rites. Their own who is in the city has taken a husband or wife.

They would be glad to help in anyway if we are having difficulties locating our life partners. They might know somebody, who knows somebody , whose son/daughter has all the qualities that would satisfy our quest for a life partner.

But we are too enlightened now; we wouldn't want to associate with those we see as our primitive past.

Even in this month of love, we are not inclined to share anything with them. A Cedi or two to an uncle or an auntie would be much appreciated by them. Our uncle would buy a tot with the cedi you gave him . He would pour libation under your feet and seek blessing for you. Before you leave, uncle would ask if there is anything he could be of help to you.

But, these are the people we don't want to have any Communion with. They are the witches and wizards operating to block our marital blessings from coming into being. We would rather share what we have with faceless people in our new world in the cities.

We would give the rest to miracle workers and soothsayers in the towns to have their hands lay on us hoping to be blessed with a significant other.

' Love Don't Cost A Thing ' a movie title.

#TALKINGBLUES
PAUL ZOWONU
TUTOR- ACCRA