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Much Ado About IGP Rant

Feature Article Much Ado About IGP Rant
JUN 7, 2016 LISTEN

Oga Femi, eti sehin.
Eye, o. Na hun su e?
We dey push body small small. If we gravitate too much, the government might decide to slap a tax on our brisk walking.

You are funny.
What happened?
What do you mean? What happened to what?
Simmer down, man. Simmer. I just wanted to know we have not been reading from you of late.

The way you asked. Nothing happened. Man was just trying to obey Bob Marley’s injunction.

Which Bob Marley injunction be that?
You are certainly curious this morning. The Great Man told us to take a break now and then, just to oberserve men and women, as they continue to run their endless rat race, which leads to nowhere.

Oberserve, you meant observe?
Whatever.
You are definitely not in a jolly good mood this morning. You are in a positively nasty funk.

This could be first trumpet, might as well be the last. Many people will have to suffer, many more will have to die, I don’t tell no lie. Things are not the way they used to be, I won’t tell no lie. There is a natural mystic blowing through the air, if you listen careful now, you will hear it.”

What is the meaning of all this, Oga Femi?
Oh, I was just singing a Bob Marley tune.
We are in a rather pensive mood today.
Sarcasm will get you everywhere. Actually, you are right, we are pensive mood. In which other state can we be and still maintain our mental equilibrium in this land of our birth?

Heavy water!
You are funny.
May I ask you something?
Do I have choice?
As a matter of fact, no. it is a question that burned deeply and I wondered why you have not address it. It bothers me greatly that you chose to remain silent.

Shoot away.
What do you make of the Inspector General of police threat to ban social media during the coming elections?

And is that the burning question?
Don’t you consider it serious enough threat?
No.
Just No?
Yes, just no!
I don’t catch you.
I didn’t throw myself.
Sorry, I don’t understand why you do not think that is a potent threat to our democracy.

Hmmmmmm.
Meaning?
I meant to say that I think we waste too much precious time, energy and resources in Ghana Incorporation over trivialities, that we do not have the time to confront the big issues…

Now, now, come on now. What could be bigger than this threat to our nascent democracy? The whole world tout our democratic credentials as the epitome of solid achievement. They point to us as the best thing to come out of Africa in a long time. The chief of police threaten to clamp down on our hard-won freedom, and you said it is nothing. What is trivial about it?

Quite funny how we in this shore do our best to big ourselves up all the time…

What do you mean?
Why don’t you let me finish my sentence before you start to get excited like a Biblical Patriarch, whose children have disobey Jehovah?

Sorry.
Ok. Take your assertion that the whole world look at us as some geniuses in the department of democratic dispensation. Nonsense. When the rest of the world look at us, the last thing they see are democrats. To be honest with you, the only thing that they see are a bunch of totally unserious people who eat, breath and drink politicking and religion all year round. The rest of humanity devote few days every four years to do politics, not us. We do politics 24/7/365. We do nothing else but politicize every issue. More serious people spend few hours on Sundays to praise their god. Not us. We spend all day, all night, and all the months in every year in every century in supplication. We converted every available space to cathedrals and mosques.

We give all airwaves to charlatans in priestly garbs, who do little but prophesize which president or important person will die. And we are too stupid to ask why the gods never revealed to them how we can begin to solve our myriads of socio-economic problem. No, sir, stop the nonsensical talk about people pointing to us as the epitome of democracy. We certainly are not. And it is time we deflate our bloated egos about packing some solid democratic credentials. Apart from rented mouths and serial callers making total fools of themselves on our airwaves, proudly exhibiting their abject ignorance, we contribute absolutely nothing to the development of democracy.

Even our professors of political science contribute zero original thoughts, they have all turned themselves into mere newspaper reviewers. Let us get real. The rest of the world look at us with utter scorn and they mock us. For good reasons, I might add. And why not? They know that almost sixty years after they gave us our independence, we still cannot feed ourselves without them. They know that we import virtually everything we need for our domestic and industrial consumption. They know that we still wear their discarded shoes, cloths, and even underwear. They know that we cannot get our minerals out of the ground without them.

They know that we lack the intelligence to add any value to any of our mineral. They know that we need their expertise to light our homes. They know that we need their brains plus their chemicals before we can treat and pipe water into our homes. They know that we do not know anything about finance or economics apart from issuing Eurobonds and begging for handouts. The rest of the world know that we cannot provide potable water for citizens. They know that we lack the brainpower to generate enough electricity to power the few disarticulate industries in the land. They know that every year, many of us die from cholera. They know that flood constantly devastate the unplanned urban ghettoes we call cities. They know that we are not champions when it comes to village or town or city or urban planning. Should I go on?

You have made some points, but actually I wanted to ask what you made of the police boss threat to ban social media during the coming elections.

Why should that be a concern to you? Why should it worry you?

You don’t mean that you are not concerned. Don’t you use the social media?

Of course, I use the social media. I am very active on a lot of platforms. But why should I be worried about a silly-assed threat to ban it?

What if he bans it?
So what?
Is that all you are going to say, so what? We talk of existential threat to our democracy.

Hyperbole. Hyperbole. You see, that is one of the problems we face as a people in this country. We react emotionally to issue, rather than sit down to analyse things and look for logical and rational solutions. What do we gain when we all jump up and down like mindless Yoyos whenever someone says something utterly stupid?

You meant the police boss statement was stupid?
You are not going to catch me with any trick question.

I don’t get you.
Then wait and let me explain. If a police boss puffed himself up in his ridiculous colonial uniform, with all the epaulets, and say that he or she is going to do something, I will give him or her the benefit of the doubt. I will take it as given that he has been properly briefed by technically and legally capable advisors. Let’s begin with the legality. Does he have the legal authority to carry out his threat? If yes, from whence did he derive such power? If satisfied that he has the legal right to do what he threatened to do, it is futile to waste time over it. If he has no such legal power, then instead of making noise, citizens should go to court and stop him. Simple. That is easier than to go and start vociferating loudly on the airwaves in futile efforts that will achieve nothing. Secondly, is what he proposed to do technically feasible? If yes, no amount of shouting on radio will help. If it is not technically possible, then he is a nincompoop out to make an ass of himself. Time to call him out. Simple.

Why did you say it is that simple?
I said it is simple because I believe that people should rather use their brains than their mouths.

So, you think that he should just go out and ban the social media because of elections.

You don’t appear to have listened to me. If the police boss is legally empowered to ban social media, and the power is derived from an extant law of the land, and what he proposes is technical feasible, we are wasting time debating it.

But you what do you think?
I am not a lawyer, so I cannot speak on that aspect of the case. But I know that technically speaking, it is impossible to completely ban social media as long as a part, any part of the internet, remains open.

How?
A simple Google search will point you to the right tools to get around a ban. My point, my good comrade, is that people in our part of the world find it easier to employ their mouths than to engage their brains. They worry themselves unnecessarily over issues that are very easy to get around. Just imagine the amount of bandwidth, energy and resources expended on silly discussions over a matter that is very simple to handle, technically-speaking. No modern country can afford to completely shut itself out of the Internet. I don’t have the statistics, but you can take it that a major chunk of the Ghanaian economy depend on the Internet. The managers of the economy will have heart attacks if the IGP completely shut the internet down, even for a few hours. I honestly don’t know what is wrong with us in this country. We worry about the most trivial of things and left the big issues unattended. We live in a country where some people decided to spend US$20,000 to rent a venue just for the signing of a loan contract. The same audacious people saddled us with a bill of US$8,000 to register an internet domain name. Rather than vibrate against such daylight robbery of our patrimony, we are rather lamenting over the proposed banning of social media. Plantain have virtually disappear from our markets, instead of asking our president what his three minister are doing, we spent inordinate amount of time on debating uber stupid stuffs.

Plug for Femi Akomolafe books
Femi Akomolafe is a Freelance writer, Author, Film & Video Documentary Producer, IT Consultant and Web-Designer.

His highly-acclaimed books (Africa: Destroyed by the gods,” and “Africa: It shall be well,” are now available for sales at the following bookshops/offices:

  1. Freedom Bookshop, near Apollo Theatre, Accra.
  2. The Daily Dispatch Office, Labone – Accra
  3. WEB Dubois Pan-African Centre, Accra
  4. Ghana Writers Association office, PAWA House, Roman Ridge, Accra.
  5. Nana Kwaku Nketsia, +233-27-8599250

They are also available on the internet. Here are useful links:

1. Africa: it shall be well: http://alaye.biz/africa-it-shall-be-well-introduction-in-pdf/

Africa: it shall be well is available for sale on Kindle books at this link: https://www.createspace.com/4820404

A FREE Chapter of ‘Africa: It shall be well’ could be downloaded here: http://alaye.biz/africa-it-shall-be-well-a-free-chapter/

2. Africa: Destroyed by the gods (How religiosity destroyed Africa) http://alaye.biz/africa-destroyed-by-the-gods-introduction/

Africa: Destroyed by the gods is available for sale on Kindle books at this link: https://www.createspace.com/4811974

A FREE Chapter of ‘Africa: Destroyed by the gods’ could be downloaded here: http://alaye.biz/africa-destroyed-by-the-gods-free-chapter/

Read a review here
Femi maintains a blog @: www.alaye.biz/category/blog

Twitter: www.twitter.com/ekitiparapo
Gmail+: www.google.com/ +Femi Akomolafe; LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/ Femi Akomolafe

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Email: [email protected] ; Website: www.alaye.biz

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