A Letter To My Grandma

Indeed a child on top of an iroko tree can never see what an old person sees while lying on the ground(African proverb).

It is barely 10years when you told me that “the hanging two balls and the pen is the last criteria for determining a man”. You added that “Women are the very threat to their dignity” “so they may become cheap someday”. For a village boy of that age, that sounded too technical to comprehend. Infact, I must be frank with you today that I did never enjoyed the roasted rat I brought from farm that day which I was attentively 'terminating' before you interrupted. You do know for sure that bevies were so rare to set eyes on. Asana was the only star of the town on who we all had crush.( yeah! I know you noticed that.. LoL).

You also narrated to me how you met my father's father and how you eventually got tied to each other. Not only was your bride price paid with few pesewas, your wedding was cheaper than the amount of GTP product in the 21century Ghana. The big 'mokuru' and few items constituted your precious wedding 'taaliya' (No makouka key) –yet you were more than okay for that. Was it possibly for something you never minded having luxurious wedding? (I asked). The shortest answer you gave was 'love'. You said 'love' was the paramount thing; all other things were either secondary or non-useful. Could it have been archaic-mindedness or some sort of luxury-ignorance? (I asked again) and you answered 'LOVE'. One thing I can vividly remember also is that, my father's father was never the affluent type neither was he 'that handsome'. The only greatest asset he had was the 1900 phoenix bicycle and the potato and yam farm (because the circular thatch-roofed and shapeless shanty-home was never something one would be proud of as an asset). Why did you agree to marry him despite all these? (I asked) your reply was 'LOVE'. You said more than half of your daily hours were spent in the farm in your youthful age; were you contented with that? And did you ever regret getting married? and why? (Me again), You said It made you both happy farming together and you never regretted even a for a second.

Infact, your explanation of love and the love I see today appear totally contradictory. That is why I write to you once again. -Mr. Napari's wife left him the a year ago for losing his job. Azindoo the thief is the lover boy on my campus for his dubiously-made money. Yaw Kuti lost his sweet Amina for failing his WSSSCE exam again. TITI the unemployed graduate in my neighborhood has no lover for his joblessness but DORO the Sakawa boy changes ladies like 'HB pencils'. ARIS the 'Libyan borger' who happened to be the least wanted by ladies is now the preference of many even to the neglect of our handsome ladies man Ayamga. I helped my main man HAADI to sort out the love letters received after getting employed in the almighty 'TMZ oil company'. SAM broke up with his darling SASHA for being incapable of affording 'Brazilian Hair' longer. Mr. TELL's wedding is still at tenterhooks for his insufficient 'cash' to sponsor a 'DUBAI wedding' proposed by the bride. These are but few of the numerous occurrences that totally blows my imaginations. Grandma! If the love you explained to me is still the same, why is it much selective in our days? or should I consider them coincidences? Not at all I am sure!

Grandma it might further appear funny and ridiculous to see below the extracts from ladies on FACEBOOK social media platform:

“jx lukin fr a man who will drop 100k in ma hand and say manage this fr a week baby”

“Where the hell will a man get the energy to climb you if he doesn't hav de energy to hustle n mak big monies”

“No love for poor dudes, betta get ya pocket heavy”

“DUBAI is the venue, work hard for it OR no wedding”

“So these poor dudes still convince themselves believing in 'TRUE love'? Betta lift ya ass go marry a tree or die a poor bachelor”

“I can't jx marry a poor man gosh! What has he got to offer?”

“Just iphone 6gold and I am urs foreva”
“No car! So what do u expect me to tak drop ma family at the station when they visit?”

I could continue with the remaining but I don't want to offend ma dear feminists for being selective.

I am sorry but all the theories you impacted on me are now outdated and I don't know how to continue with this sudden change in everything. I write to you so that you don't get disappointed if I choose the path of the the wrong-right. All the devilish acts that were highly condemnable in your time are now infact legal and commendable provided it makes you financially okay.

We now live in a money-Driven century where anything related to the source of money is never considered even if that involves taking the life someone.

The school you convinced my Dad to send me is now appearing useless because even the educational systems now value certificate than worth and experience (How you get the cert is a secondary issue). It is now best called: 'Certificate system'(don't worry I will manage with that one) But do you think that love of your time still exist today? I would be glad to know where I can find it because that seems to be the genuine type, reciprocal one and cheap to handle.

The shortest of this long story is that 'LIFE HAS CHANGED'. I could continue with the remaining 99.99% but 'Angel GARAEL' complained a lot of my last letter; That it was too bulky and heavy to carry to the heavens. May your gentle soul and others rest in peace!

BY: Alhassan Abdul Razak..University Ibn Tofail.