Modern - Day Pentecostalism. Some Funny Oddities Which Must Be Stopped

Pastor

Let me first of all explain that I am using the word 'Pentecostalism' synecdoche (a figure of speech term), standing for Pentecostal, charismatic and spiritual churches. This discussion cuts across these three Christian groupings, even though one may be affected more than the others.

Is it not strange that as modern-day Pentecostalism continues to gain more international clout and win more souls, it tends to simultaneously accrete to itself some oddities, so funny and stupendous they appear to mire its purist essence?

Bizarre spirit-possession, queer prophetic pronouncements, odd ritual practices, spiritual 'deliverance' play acting – these are but a few of those peculiarities which continue to x-ray the queer and ridiculous in current Pentecostal practices.

Now it is a commonplace occurrence that a born-again believer enters a church room, and comes back the next moment, claiming to have been spirit-filled.

To prove this, he joins some Pentecostal brethren at home, prays with them for a minute or two, and presto! he is thrown into some unrestrained emotional frenzy meant to show to the world that he is anointed; or born-again and spirit-possessed.

One sees the man's body forcibly shaking in spasms, with the hands trembling, the voice quivering in such staccato mumblings as: Je-Je-Je-Jee-sus… Jeee-sus…..Je-Je-Je-Jee-sus….aassh..ah…..assh Jee-sus.

Then follows some stuttering tongues-speaking: shlababababa - Jah-Jeey-balika - a syndrome which an American psychologist Peter Brent calls 'a born-again fixation', and an observer brands as 'a Pentecostal anthem.' Only recently a reverend minister of an orthodox church queried, 'If the possessed voodoo priest says: 'shiri-bo-bo-bo-boh' in a staccato stammer over his black whisk he holds, and the possessed born-again Christian rattles: shla-ba-ba-bah-shlabalika over his Bible, what can be the difference?

Come on over to the church auditorium itself, and there can be no buts about such funny oddities. As the prayer progresses, some believers perform some shadow-boxing prayer antics towards the nearby wall as if the Lord is tacked on to some wall-cracks so to be driven into action.

Whether it is faith emphasis, or special coercion on the Lord, no one can tell.

But it is odd.
Watch some possessed prayerfuls: some, especially women, begin to hop about on one leg like grasshoppers let loose, and others roll on the floor, overturning benches and chairs. Order and discipline- these have gone to the winds, giving way to rowdy pandemonium, a babel of din. Can that be the biblical way to serve God? Funny!

A few weeks ago, at a Pentecostal prayer meeting in Ghana, one such roller-coaster, arm-flinging, spirit-possessed women suddenly knocked down a boy who was in a tongue-speaking ecstasy, plunging him into a sprawling crash amongst the benches.

The miserable boy got up; and on experiencing a bleeding cut on his puffy lips, complained in his native language: 'Oh why?'.

One wondered why the then continuously babbling tongue-speaking spirit should, in a split-second, leave the bleeding lips and speak in native dialect. Was it that it could not endure the swelling pains? That was a thousand dollar question. Fantastic!

Indeed, this incident raised the eyebrows of onlookers and anxious visitors: how come that the Holy Spirit in someone should knock down the Holy Spirit in another so to hurt him? Is the Holy Spirit now made to be a pugilist, or dancing boxer like old-time Cassius Clay to give a knockout? All were mystifying.

In a later quiz, one of the pastors of this church in questions, expressed no qualms about what had happened, as he saw nothing in that criss-cross, messy episode enacted in the church auditorium.

He cited 1 Samuel 10: 6 in the Bible to defend his point: 'And the spirit of the Lord will come upon thee and thou shalt prophesy with them, and shall be turned into another man'- another man for causing confusion?

But when he was confronted with St. Paul's assertion: 'God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all churches of the Saints'. (1 Corinthians 14:33), he admitted that such laisser-faire practices in his church were indeed unbiblical.

There are instances where even some Pentecostal prophecies call for 'zakat' (a prescribed alms-giving of the Muslims). But such prophesying spirit ridiculously forget that zakat is not one of the Christian doctrines of giving. A Christian Holy Spirit now prophesying or acting like Islamic mallams? So odd!

Similarly wonderful are instances in which the Holy Spirit identifies himself as Michael or Gabriel who asks for a certain amount of money plus kola to ward off an upcoming disaster. A Holy Spirit with an angelic name? And a Holy Spirit to chew Kola for some protection rituals? Incredible!

Then there is the doctrinal taboo that prohibits some Pentecostal members from entering a church in their sandals or shoes. As a sign of keeping God's habitation holy, they, according to their faith, ought to leave their footwear at the entrance of their church edifice – damn health hazards of their feet.

Their claims, based on the 'sandals leaving' incidents of Moses (in Exodus 3:5), are that God is not to be so outraged, as he forbids sandals wearing on His holy ground: the church auditorium. When some time ago, an American visiting evangelist Steve Wallis explained that the Exodus incident does not prescribe any religious prohibitions, 'but is a metaphorical expression pertaining to the removal of vices of the heart so that one becomes spiritually anointed for easy communication with God,' this was not taken in good faith by some churches.

But when the unexpected happened that some shoes and sandals left at the doorway were being pilfered by some naughty passers-by, some pastors allowed the usage of footwear into church auditoriums, whilst others insisted they be brought into immediate comers of the inside walls of the church. A quick u-turn in their beliefs!

One, at any rate, wonders whether this 'footwear dumping' at the corner of the church does not still defile the holy ground of the church? Just odd!

And one is hard put to it to understand the peculiar gimmicks employed by some Pentecostals to give spiritual deliverance, to people supposed to have been tormented by evil powers or demons.

Some church elders or pastors surround the 'patient'. Onto his head they lay their hands en bloc, as they press on to the neck, all shouting 'evil spirit leave him, leave him in God's name.'

Then in a trice, the commands wax into some tongue-speaking prattles, as they pull him here and there by the neck and arms.

This continues until the exhausted patient falls down in a swoon or semi-coma, whereby the evil spirit is said to have left him! Spiritual deliverance by fatigue exorcism? By an exhaustion ploy? How quixotic!

Late last year in Canada, an alleged demonically-possessed young girl of 17 declined to take another deliverance bout, after a previous session had failed to drill off the evil spirit.

'It is an awful experience getting pulled and spinned and wheeled to the floor. And to have all the horrible nightmares back again the next day. I just can't stand the prayer ordeal any longer,' she expostulated in an interview.

Now, many such patient flinch and frown upon this type of roller-coaster deliverance systems in some of these Pentecostal Churches.

Currently, the question on the lips of many is: where are the purist Pentecostal practices of such ancient men of piety like the biblical Saints Peter and Paul?

Those real, undisputed miracle performances of such medieval charismatics as St. Anthony of Padua, and St. Francis of Paula; or of modern-day Pentecostals like T.  L. Osborne  and Francis Hunter – where are they to be demonstrated against the present day falsities of spirit possessions with its bench crashing gymnastics, fake tongue-speaking, con prophecies and spiritual deliverance orgies?

Indeed, lots of oddities are crusting over the veneer of modern-day Pentecostalism, trying to deface it and to destroy its reputation to the point of it being slighted by society.

And the Councils of these Pentecostal churches must rise up to stop these oddities, these bad practices!

 By Apostle Kwamena Ahinful