DELUSIONS OF MODERNITY

Just how modern is our world? Perhaps the on-going routing of governments in some of the world's regions – notably in the Middle East – brings this question to the front-burner more than ever. The Western countries are politically dominant, and would want to subtly and otherwise, convince us that their ways are better than ours. Most of us are also convinced on this. People are wont to criticise the cultures of other people, using the American culture as benchmark. Indeed, teh smoother one's spoken English language, the more 'modern' one is considered. The more you can dress like an European too, the higher society regards you in the echelon of modernity. But are all these tendencies correct? Are we being led to glory, or perdition? I am hereby conducting a diagnosis of today's modern world.

Standing on the 6th floor of the Wyckoff Medical Centre in New York, you only had to peep out of the window to see a huge poster covering the side of a whole building. The poster has the pictures of two sharp lawyers on it, asking you if you wanted CHEAP DIVORCE. They could even do it for you on credit. Welcome to the 'modern' world. When you consider the fact that that hospital is a major maternity centre, and what with the anger that women feel while going through the pangs of childbirth, it is no doubt that Parkinson and Parkinson (of whatever the hell the lawyers' names are called), is making brisk business, while society is dying a fast death!

Welcome to the 'modern' world, where it is women that marry men, and not the other way round. Maybe it is a product of feminine liberation, but what it has led to is a scenario where men are no longer men. Married men share expenses with their wives in the house in equal proportions. Married couple bicker over money and the wife often sets strict rules for the husband which he dare not breach. And if there is a quarrel, all the wife has to do is call the police, and the man finds himself outside on the pavement, while still paying all, or part of the mortgage. The effect of all these is that young men do not want to marry these days. All they do is have a 'partner', with whom they have children if they want. Most times children are seen as pests, even amongst those who are married. The culmination of all these – a fast-reducing population especially amongst the well-off. Soap Operas like The Bold and the Beautiful, Desperate Housewives and many more have also worsened the cohesiveness of the traditional homefront, and put deviant ideas into the heads of the 'modern' woman. The result – a vicious cycle of divorce and unhappiness, plus a dying population!

There was this case of a married guy who worked on the 103rd floor of the World Trade Centre and who happened to have gone visiting his mistress on the day the Twin Towers were bombed away. While with his mistress, his wife called his mobile phone to ask about his safety, and because he wasn't watching the TV, he claimed to be in the office. This led to his wife filing for divorce because he lied. The question is; would she have preferred that he died? Is his being alive not something to be grateful for? Well, I don't understand the oyibo people, especially their women. The case of Tiger Woods also comes to mind. A buck-strapping, rich and intelligent young man like Tiger, was expected to be invisible to the women folk. The wife, who assaulted him, forgot that the same stardom that attracted her to Tiger, will also attract other women like flies. She did not bother that the guy met all his obligations to her and the children. Today , they are divorced, and Tiger's career has nosedived. To think that the woman was a mere au-pair (house-girl) when she met Tiger! I started to wonder then; who will fight for men, now that the 'modern' world has gagged us and we have donated away all our rights to manhood?!

We live in an 'ultra-modern' world, where women are expected to go around torturing men, and men are supposed to take it all in their strides. Women go around faking the contours of their bodies and pushing their flesh in men's faces – all in the name of fashion! People who are supposedly 'modern', laugh at those Arabian women who cover themselves up. But do they think they are perfect? Our 'modern' women wear pads on their chests and backsides, gum fake nails on their fingers, wear hair that Indian women donated to Lord Shiva and Buddha (and these expensive hair should also come with the sins and curses washed away from the donors, so this may be a good reasons why many of our 'modern' women have psychological problems). Our women also wear fake eyelashes, eyebrows, and oftentimes 'pancake' their faces and bleach their bodies to the extent that you will hardly recognise them! Someone sent a message online the other day showing how women make up, and we saw women totally transform just by engaging in that very artistic process. Then the guy advised, 'before you propose to any woman, take her to the sink, and WASH HER FACE!'. Yes, wash her face so that you will see clearly the market you are bidding for!

Please women, forgive me. This is not about you. But maybe a lot of today's problems are caused by women, or men who think upside-down. For in this same world where some lay claim to modernity, Western countries jail people for 7 years for marrying more than one wife, but they have written Sodomy and Homosexuality into the statute books, making it illegal for one to discriminate against such acts. They even castigate us in Africa for outlawing Sodomy! I believe that the Western world is way too smart to refuse to tackle the Homosexuality problem from the root – many people are bullied into it. It can only be that some evil streak is at play, trying to equate sexual deviance, and marital 'attention deficit disorder', with modernity!

'Modernity' is even becoming dangerous. Many of the luxury cars produced these days have DVD screens for the passengers at the back to watch while the driver drives on. It used to be that not only the driver kept vigil on the road. But now people are no longer required to care. Your children can even plug their ears and listen to all sorts of devices while ignoring their parents in the house. It is all modernity. The latest TVs now come with a google. It is called 3D. I imagine whole families wearing thick glasses just to get more kicks out of entertainment. What a world!

I have saved the best for last. Do you know that the world has gradually acquired more deadly weapons over time? The modern world now has enough nuclear capacity to destroy the Earth 100 times over. The First World War had only 10% civilian capacity, the second World War 30%, but the Iraqi and Afghanistan war being fought has had more than 80% civilian casualties.

But don't worry, it's all about modernity! Welcome to the modern world!