For better or for your worse? You decide!

Excitement filled my day dreaming head; the week was a day shy of Saturday! I couldn't help but imagine how exciting Brenda's wedding would be. My roommate and her campus boyfriend or “inte” as we referred to internal campus relationships were finally going to tie that long knot called marriage. All too soon, darkness gave way to light; a development which gave birth to Saturday! As usual, I looked my best and sat right by the door; the entrance is where the action is!

Brenda made a graceful entry with a smile a tooth paste advertisement agency would treasure. I could immediately sense some relief in her husband to be, who had been glued to his seat for the past two hours! Soon after her arrival; an elderly man with an impeccable grin took over proceedings. As I sat through proceedings I could not help but admire Brenda and the love of her life for how far they had come; my wild imagination at the wedding was interrupted by the vows of the couple.
Do you Brenda, take …for better, for worse…I wondered what is worse about two people who have decided to love each other till eternity. How worse can it get? Why do officiating ministers have to say that anyway? Unknown to me, my answer was wrapped in a surprise visit I was to pay Brenda in her matrimonial home many months after her wedding. On this particular day, the blazing rage of the sun was at an unimaginable magnitude; as if the huge African oven was being prepared for the baking of the century. As if that was not enough, many passer-bys seemed determined to direct me toward only the wrong direction; “take left, and then right, then left again, then you would see a coconut seller, ask him and he will show you the place”-how?. I confidently picked the phone to call Brenda for clarity; “the subscriber you are calling is switched of”! When would our phones connect when we need them?
Finally, my sojourn in the wilderness came to an end when I found the promise land (Brenda's home). As I approached, I could hear a most piercing cry which sounded like a discontented child. I was welcomed with the usual, ei, and oh, which characterizes old roommate reunions. My first observation was the huge baby fastened to Brenda's back while she washed; bending without a seat. I inquired of the rationale behind this posture rupturing pose. She explained that her baby would have none of her desire to sit although she had to complete her washing; what's worse she had been in that pose for close to two hours!

I immediately unstrapped that little “tyrant” who was breaking my roommate's back and coerced her with a doll I purchased specially for her. How is your number one man? I asked. Don't ask, we are at loggerheads, he now sleeps on the couch (a two-seater couch), was the reply. I immediately began to direct my mental flashback to the minister's vows at the wedding. Was it for better or for your worse?
Marriage couples need to understand that they are affiliates of an institution which can be challenging and overwhelming for the body. The brain which controls the body's organs can only send those swift signals through free flowing nerves; however this vital nerve flow can easily be obstructed by factors such as stress (arguments, financial worries, lack of sleep because of attending to children who wouldn't sleep at night, waking up to see the face of the once love of your life who seems to be a thorn in the flesh all of a sudden, and so on), and improper sleeping posture (sleeping in the couch), bending for long hours (long bending whiles washing a mountain of clothes, carrying those huge water gallons to fetch water, and so on). What's more, research has proven that back pain or spinal stress can be worsened and affected by some sexual positions! However in view of the pressure to satisfy one's marriage mate in the bedroom at all times, many marriage mates overlook their back pain and spinal problems and engage in adventurous exploits. Your desire to unconditionally satisfy your partner's sexual needs may well be the beginning of your body's degeneration.

It is time couples researched into healthy alternatives to tackling the many challenges which confront them. If you are frequently stressed, find a practical way to manage stress. Create your personal emotional shifters (things which would relieve your stress-music, taking a walk, watching a movie, and so on), you do not need to wash with your baby fastened to your back; acquire a baby walker or entrust your baby in the care of your spouse (if it's impossible to do any of the afore mentioned; try and put your baby to sleep before washing because your life may well depend on it); lest I forget; it is okay to sit when cooking! Gone were the days when all women who sat in-between cooking were considered lazy! Back wrecking chores can be done in different healthy ways - be creative!

As a couple, decide to take care of your spines one day at a time. Write down anything that compromises on your posture (ask yourself; does this chore make me bend for long periods, do I have to stretch in an uncomfortable way, do I stand for long periods, how heavy is what I am about to carry, and so on), does stress from worry drown you? Guess what; worrying would only compound your problems by making you sick from nerve flow obstructions. Discuss with your spouse and collectively adopt a suitable action which would save your lives. You deserve a longer, healthy and happy family life –for better or for your worse best!

Credit: Henrietta Aba Lartey
The Chiropractic and Wellness Centres
Email: henritalartey@yahoo.com

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