You May Kiss The Corpse...

“You may kiss the bride, ngme” is a popular hiplife song that we all know but I'm not too sure if you know another one called “You may kiss the corpse, ngme!”

Well, the 'Abongo' boys and one girl at the 'Abongo' people's hospital called 30 plus 7 were in the news recently for trying to 'live in their own world again' regardless of the new paradigm shift in geo-politics.

According to some 'Kokonsa' people's account as narrated by the 'victims' of that unfortunate occurrence, the 'Abongo' people were accused of 'arresting' some trotro drivers for wrongly plying their trade at their arena disturbing those recuperating and those who had gone into permanent sleep. For their punishment, the drivers were asked to make one 'dogodogo' line, march up to the morgue and to 'kiss', 'bathe' and 'hold' the breast of the female ones among the sleeping people called the dead.

We know that the act of kissing or touching a dead person's 'something-something' or playing with someone's departed 'odehye' (precious or important person) was sacrilegious. In the land of the dead, there are no 'Bungalowbii' or 'Shiabii'; it is simply 'Obia ennye obia'. Yes, when it comes to our culture, 'joking' with a dead relative was tantamount to committing a heinous crime.

Those who 'feared' or 'revered' the dead refused to kiss or fondle those 'tantalising' breast and for their 'rewards' they had not one or two but multiple 'dirty' slaps to wake them up from their 'slumbers'.

So I asked myself, in fact, the little 'animal' in my head keeps disturbing my peace; “why would the 'abongo' people do that?”

When I heard the news, I said to myself that there was going to be trouble. The wind blowing these days across the country where everybody seems to be singing the song of democracy and rule of law, the odds are against the 'Abongo' people. To worsen the situation for them is the red-eye surveillance the 'kokonsa' people have kept on every individual and institution like the 'Abongo' people.

It is therefore not surprising that when the least signal is picked, you can bet that hell would break loose for any individual, group of persons or institution that try to trample upon our small but important liberties.

But come to think of it, as much as we want to sympathise with the drivers and chastise the 'Abongo' boys and the girl for 'usurping' the powers of the 'koti koti' people and 'Kwankwan lobitey people' who referred to themselves as 'learned', it is equally important to scrutinize the 'murderous' handiwork of our trotro drivers.

I'm sure the plan was to teach the trotro drivers what death or dead people look like as they continue to cause more death to the hard working labour force of this country than any natural disaster.

A kokonsa paper recently described the 207 Benz Bus as a 'Killer Machine'. Yes, many of the deaths recorded in this country have been as a result of accidents on our roads.

We have spent time using all available means or media to talk about the incessant murders on our roads without the corresponding change in attitude towards it. Our roads have become death camps like the fearsome Hitler's Nazi camps where millions were gassed to death.

Today, it is by miracle that we say good-bye to our families and return to meet them safe and sound. But if it were not miraculous every good-bye you say to your family when embarking on a journey was like saying 'see ya in heaven' or 'hell'.

Trotro drivers are simply nuisance. In fact, it is an understatement to even describe them as nuisance. I could not find the right word to describe the conduct, attitude and the psycho-emotional disposition of the people who sit behind most of the vehicles that ply our roads. They are simply vampires on their own while their vehicles remain killer machines.

It is only vampires who do not have sympathy for their victims. They survive on blood and would therefore do anything possible to have blood any time they needed it. If it were not so how then do we fathom the senseless and insensitive nature of some of these drivers?

You can call them 'road masters' when they are on the road because they assume total control of the road oblivious to other road users. If you dare complain or want to insist on your right, you either receive a proper morning 'dressing' from a foul-mouthed driver who has thrown all decorum to the dogs or his servant (drivers mate). The description of some part of your body, especially if you are a woman, in the name of insult could turn your 'birthday party' into a 'funeral ground'.

Again, the noise you receive from those drivers when they are driving behind you and you try to do 'good small' by allowing another motorist to join the queue from another direction or when the traffic lights turn green for you to roll on and you delay in rolling; Piiiiiiiiiiiing, poooon and all sorts of horns as if they are in a hurry to catch a train to 'heaven'.

Simply put, our trotro drivers drive like mad! Blow their horns like crazy! And stop at unapproved stops as if they were above the law.

The scene at the 37 Military Hospital everyday can make any disciplined military person or officer blow off his cool. It is purely indiscipline that has engulfed the nation. The Zebra Crossing on the road in front of the hospital is non-existing for the trotro driver; they do not have the patience to see a motorist in front of them stopping for a sick person, a pregnant woman or a minor to cross the road. If you are not fortunate, before you realize, in his haste to rush to wherever he is going, he would run his tetanus ridden bus into your beautiful and 'sexy' car.

To worsen the situation is the failure of our 'koti koti' people to arrest some of these recalcitrant drivers. For them any catch is a 'harvest' or 'our day'. I sometimes see broken down vehicles without the necessary warning signs and a file wielded 'koti koti' doing 'business' as usual with the driver.

For me punishing the 'Abongo boys' would not be enough if we fail to address the rampant abuse on our roads by our trotro and other commercial drivers. We need a holistic approach; maybe some radical approach with one eye closed to the rule of law so that some discipline would be instilled in such recalcitrant drivers.

We need everybody alive especially as election draws close. Every thump is crucial on December 7, 2008.

My eyes are watching even though I'm asleep.

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