Are We That Religious?

It's unfortunate we couldn't meet at Kubease last weekend due to the “harvest” by “Fa be bom” Healing Church -the fastest growing church in Asomdwekrom. The 'harvest' was indeed a success and a spectacle to behold. With you as the chairman of the occasion, why wouldn't it be?

But I made an observation which has sown seeds of doubt in my mind as to the holiness, genuineness and godliness of the church.

I'm sure Wofa would be saying there goes my beloved nephew again! Well, you know Ogboro wouldn't shelve his 'tweredua' anytime he makes an observation worth commenting on.

As I was saying, it was a shocker to see Agya Appiah and Eno Abena, who were known idolaters, on the high table. It was obvious they were invited because of 'noko fio' that the church would get from them.

Perhaps, the church has forgotten the biblical scripture which states: “What would it benefit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul?” Hmm!

As if to ridicule the church, they-Appiah and Abena-were seen clad in their white calicos, the next day, worshipping their god-Kankan Nyame.

It is not uncommon to hear 'menuanom' make the statement:
“Asomdwekromanians are very religious ooo.” As a matter of fact, we-Asomdwekromanians-believe we are amongst the most religious nations on this planet. Whether rightly or not, “Mawuko nya”; to wit, “Only God knows.”

As for me, I have made some observations which have made me take the statement with pinch of salt. Yes, it is making me ask: are we that religious?

If you would recall, many were those who labeled Daddy Lumba's hit song-“Aben wo ha”-as profane, when it was released in the year 2000. Ironically, the “Aben wo ha” album turned out to be the highest selling album that year-selling over a million copies.

Whaaat! We who claim to be very religious patronizing a product we've labeled profane? How hypocritical of us!

Wofa, ours is a country which prides itself in being a very religious nation, yet she is believed to be the second on the continent in liquor consumption.

Ironic, eh! Is it a case of lying to ourselves so much so that we tend to believe our own lies? Remember the saying: “A stupendous lie told overtime gains credibility.”

Abusuapanin, as you already know, the “masjid” (mosque) is a converging point for 'kramofo,' where the rich and the poor, the white and the black, and the weak and the strong are all equal before the almighty Allah.

After the “maghrib” (sunset) prayer yesterday, I placed two cowries (twenty thousand cola nuts) and requested for a prayer with the “jamaat” (congregation), which the imam obliged but with a visible frown on his face.

But the imam was hale and hearty as he prayed with the “jamaat” for Alhaji Tanko-a known white powder drug baron.

I'm sure you can guess the imam's motivation. Yes, you are right! A bundle of 5-cowry notes -obviously stained with white powder- did the trick. I wondered if Allah would accept the prayers of the imam.

Why? Because he knew that the source of Alhaji Tanko's cowries was evil, yet he collected the cowries forgetting that the bearded old man above is all-seeing. Hmm! This 'noko fio' syndrome would 'kill' us oo!

Abusuapanin, last Sunday, I saw a bevy of 'nketesia' coming from church and holding their big Bibles. The 'wawansem' is that, these 'nketesia' could best be described as harlots because of their 'apushkeleke' and 'I'm aware' adornment.

Yet, neither their pastors nor elders deemed it right to make them aware that their “I'm aware” costumes were satanic. Na waa oo!

I was later praying to 'Onyankopon' to have mercy on us when I fell into a trance. I saw the Archangel Gabriel clad in white calico looking very angry.

He said to me: “My dear Ogboro, kindly convey to your fellow Asomdwekromanians that last moon alone, about 10,000 Asomdwekromanians joined their “adikanfo” in the land of “samanfo.”

Out of the number, none entered the kingdom of Heaven. Let it reach your kith and kin that they should mend their bad ways so they can avoid the wrath of “Onyankopon”. Shalom!

Wofa, you've heard the Archangel. I hope you would join me in conveying his message to all Asomdwekromanians. After all, the Archangel has now revealed that we aren't as religious as we claim.

I hope to see you at Kubease soon.
Wassalaam!

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