Is the old order changing, yielding place to new?

In the last few days, a very interesting question has kept agitating my mind, yearning for an answer. These days, why do some men, even royals, like to marry women who are older than them? Of course, there are several reasons why some men, including royals, are drawn to older women when it comes to marriage. Being married to an older woman, as with any other type of relationship, has its own set of unique dynamics and potential challenges, but it also creates opportunities for mutual growth and fulfilment.

In the first place, older women tend to be more emotionally mature and stable than their younger spouses. This can easily appeal to men who value emotional security and a deeper understanding of a relationship. A mature female partner might also be more capable of handling the pressures that come with being in a high-profile union, like royal relationship. Older women often have more life experience and self-confidence. They usually know what they want, are comfortable with themselves, and are less likely to play mind games. These are qualities that can be attractive, especially, to men in need of, and seeking, stable and genuine intimacy.

For younger men, especially those in demanding positions like royalty, an older partner can provide valuable guidance and advice. Her life experience and perspective can help the man navigate personal and public challenges more effectively. Older women are often past the phase of uncertainty about relationships and life goals. This clarity can be refreshing for men, especially those who grew up in complicated or highly scrutinized environments like royal families.

While there is often a stereotype that men normally prefer younger women, many men are beginning to be genuinely attracted to the confidence, poise, and emotional depth that older women bring. Some men find these traits more appealing than youthful looks alone. In royal circles, for example, relationships are often influenced by tradition and social expectations. Choosing an older female partner could be a way for a royal to assert independence and break away from conventional norms, making a personal statement about love and choice.

Sometimes too, the connection is simply about shared interests and values rather than any consideration of age. If a man and an older woman have a strong emotional and intellectual bond, age becomes irrelevant. King Charles III married Camilla Parker Bowles, who is sixteen months older than him. Their relationship was built on a long-standing emotional connection. Emmanuel Macron, the French President, married Brigitte Macron, who was his teacher at school and is 24 years older than him in a relationship that is based on mutual respect and understanding.

At the end of the day, love and intimate connection do not always follow societal expectations, and most times, personal compatibility often outweighs age differences. Yes, it does seem like there is a bit of this pattern here, when it comes to the British royal family and their preference for older partners, particularly among King Charles III and his sons, Prince William and Prince Harry.

Camilla is about 16 months older than Charles. Their relationship was based on a long-standing emotional connection and shared interests, even though it was complicated by external pressures like the expectation for Charles to marry a younger "suitable" bride like Diana. Despite the rocky history, Charles and Camilla's eventual marriage showed that emotional compatibility and understanding trumped age differences.

Kate is about 6 months older than William. While the age gap is small, it is still notable because it is slightly unconventional for future kings to marry older women. In this case, their strong friendship and shared background of meeting at university likely laid the foundation for a balanced and secure relationship.

Meghan is about 3 years older than Harry. Their relationship has been characterized by a strong emotional connection, with Meghan often viewed as the more mature and experienced partner, especially given her previous marriage and career in Hollywood. Harry has spoken about how Meghan’s strength and life experience helped him navigate the complexities of royal life and mental health struggles. It is tempting to think that this pattern reflects the royal family's tendency toward seeking emotional stability and guidance from older women. There are a few possible explanations. The demanding nature of royal life may push them to seek partners who are emotionally grounded and experienced. Growing up under intense public scrutiny and the shadow of their parents’ high-profile marriage may have made them value emotional security over societal norms. Charles’s choice of Camilla may have influenced his sons to prioritize emotional connection over age or status when choosing a partner.

So, while marrying older women may not be genetic in the British royal family, there is definitely a psychological or emotional pattern at play, perhaps shaped by the pressures and lessons of royal life. It actually looks like the Windsors have a soft spot for older, confident women!

But be that as it may, there is a thoughtful observation that this age difference could rob off on the man's authority as head of family. And it would be right to consider how age dynamics might influence authority within a marriage, especially when the man is younger.

In many religious and social cultures, including British and Nigerian cultures, the man who is traditionally viewed as the head of the family, is expected to provide leadership, protection, and decision-making. An age gap where the woman is older could challenge this dynamic in some ways. An older woman may naturally have more life experience, emotional maturity, and possibly financial independence. This could lead to a subtle shift in the balance of power, where the woman’s confidence and experience give her more influence over family decisions.

In some cultures, a younger man might feel like his authority is undermined if his older wife takes charge of family decisions more often or has greater life experience. If the man lacks self-confidence, he might feel "overshadowed" by a more experienced partner. Moreover, society tends to scrutinize relationships where the woman is older, sometimes questioning the man’s strength or ability to lead. In the case of royals, this could be magnified by media attention and public expectations of male dominance within the marriage. But here is why it may not matter.

Leadership in a family is not solely about age. It is more about emotional strength, decision-making, and mutual respect. A younger man who is emotionally secure and confident can still lead effectively, even if his partner is older. An older woman might provide wisdom and guidance, but that does not mean the man’s role as the head of the family is diminished. In fact, their combined strengths could make for a more balanced and stable partnership.

Charles and Camilla’s relationship shows that mutual respect and emotional connection can override age dynamics. Similarly, Meghan’s experience as an actress and public figure likely helped Harry navigate royal pressures but it has not visibly affected his role as a protective husband and father. Ultimately, authority in a family comes from how well the man handles his responsibilities — providing emotional support, protecting his family, and making wise decisions — rather than how old his partner is. While society might raise an eyebrow at an older wife, the strength of the relationship and the man’s personal confidence are what truly define his role as the head of the family. So, we see that indeed, the old order of men marrying younger women is gradually but steadily changing and giving way to new human thinking and human values.