IN THE RING-THINGS FALL APART THINGS FALL APART

My people, are you also noticing what good old Cassius is noticing?

Why, you people can't notice what Cassius is noticing?

Come on guys, I am sure you are seeing what I am seeing and hearing what I am hearing. Okay, let me tell you what I am noticing so that I make it easier for you to get what it is I am talking about.

My people, have you noticed the way the center of the elephant colony is disintegrating and they are beginning to drift in different directions?

My people, I am sure you remember that great literary work of that Anago man titled “Things Fall Apart”?

I am sure you remember how things fell apart and the center could no longer hold.

Well, if you read that book and thought that it was a good piece of fiction, the real picture is now unfolding before our eyes.

My people, things are falling apart for the elephants and the center is no more holding for them and Cassius is swinging in his hammock and having a good laugh.

Last week when the elephant in charge of our energy matters met the members of the inky fraternity and insulted everybody apart from himself, did you hear the very profound statements that he made?

My people, did you hear the man say that that Tarzan man has willfully caused huge financial loss to the state?

Yes my people, the elephant in charge of energy told the whole world that we should tie a rope around the neck of Tarzan and hang him the way that modern day Nebuchadnezzar was hanged in the territory which used to be known as Babylon in biblical times.

According to the elephant in charge of energy, Tarzan should be hanged because that so-called plant that was supposed to be a very strategic power generating machine, would never have produced a single megawatt of power and so he does not know what informed the thinking of Tarzan before he brought it into the territory.

My people, are you following the story of the elephant in charge of energy?

According to the elephant in charge of energy, it is only Tarzan who knows why he spent 35 million of the bushman's currency, which is close to 400 billion of our HIPC currency, on such a useless venture.

My people, it is not Cassius who is indicting Tarzan ooo.

It is a member of Tarzan's own elephant family who is telling us that Tarzan willfully caused financial loss to the state for reasons best known to Tarzan.

My people, do you remember how that late learned man jailed our brethren for causing financial loss to the state in that quality grain matter?

In the quality grain matter, the four gentlemen were supposed to have allowed that cotton-like woman to squander 20 million of the bushman's currency.

My people, we all know that in spite of the assertion that the cotton-like woman was allowed to blow our cash, the project had taken off and was actually producing rice for our consumption.

Who does not know that the project was up and running and was actually yielding some dividend to the territory?

Cassius actually remembers how that courageous man, when he was the elephant responsible for the agric sector, said openly that the project was a very viable one and that he was going to do everything possible to keep it going.

Somehow he was shifted from the agric place to the health place.

Indeed, there are some who believe that the courageous man was moved from the agric place because clueless Neequaye and his hawks wanted to kill the rice project to justify the jailing of the four operatives of the umbrella party.

So if four gentlemen were jailed for allowing that cotton-like woman to blow 20 million of the bushman's currency even though the project was up and running and yielding returns, what would happen to one reckless character who has actually wasted 35 million of the bushman's currency on a useless project with nothing to show for it?

My people, are we not looking at a very long jail term for Tarzan?

And while in the quality grain case, the judge said that the four men did not benefit in any way from the so-called financial loss, in the case of Tarzan, he is believed to have benefited immensely from the 35 million of the bushman's currency.

My people, is Tarzan not a sure bet for jail per the revelations of the elephant in charge of energy matters?

Another thing which got me very much convinced that the center is no more holding for the elephants, is the way the elephant in charge of energy insulted Tarzan waa waa waa. Swa!

My people, I know that the elephants are a very insulting and crude bunch of animals but for them to be insulting themselves at press conferences, is something I never bargained for.

My people, I am sure Tarzan never expected that it will come the point where he would not only be exposed by his fellow elephant as a dissipater of the territory's wealth, but would also be called a mad man.

In response to a question from a member of the inky fraternity as to what the elephant in charge of energy thought of Tarzan's comments to the effect that the generators that are being imported to supposedly augment the energy stock are nothing but “toys”, the energy elephant said Tarzan is a mad man and so did not know what he was talking about.

Yes my people, the elephant in charge of energy referred to Tarzan as a mad man.

He went further to state that Tarzan is also the most useless engineer in the territory because apart from making lots of senseless noise, he has done nothing to prove that he really is an engineer.

My people, do you now understand why the umbrella people sacked Tarzan as an energy advisor, and which was the reason why Tarzan decided to cross carpet and pitch camp with the elephants?

My people, it is not Cassius who is saying that Tarzan is a useless engineer ooo.

It is his own family member who is saying that Tarzan is a very useless engineer who cannot even knock empty milk tins together to produce the type of “konko” lorry some of us used to play with when we were kids.

So if Tarzan is not only a very useless engineer, but is also a mad man, should clueless Neequaye not be answering questions as to why he decided to allow an insane and useless engineer to manage the VRA place only for him to willfully cause financial loss to the state?

My people, Tarzan has indeed willfully caused huge financial loss to the territory and we should be holding clueless Neequaye jointly liable for the loss of close to 400 billion of the taxpayer's money?

I tell you my people, when the tides turn, a lot of people will either run away or stay behind and spend some time behind bars.

Of course, Tarzan was not going to sit idly by and watch the elephant in charge of energy turn him inside out and so he got his insane friend, the elepole, to do some damage control for him.

So on Saturday morning, on the programme that files the news on the 99.7 noise box, the insane elepole really went after the elephant in charge of energy.

According the insane elepole, the elephant in charge of energy was lying to the public when he said that he is in possession of an audit report that has it that Tarzan has willfully caused huge financial loss to the state.

According to the insane elepole, no such audit report exists and that if the elephant in charge of energy has such a report, members of the inky fraternity should challenge him to make the report public.

Yes my people, the elepole said that the elephant in charge of energy is not in possession of any report.

Of course, what the elepole was doing, was to try to tell the whole world that his friend Tarzan, is not guilt of any crime.

My people, do you understand what the insane elepole was trying to do?

My people, they say when two elephants fight it is the ground that suffers but this time around, elephants are fighting and it is their own colony that is suffering.

Yes, the center of the elephants is falling apart.

The insane elepole did not stop at saying that the elephant in charge of energy has no audit report.

In trying to take apart the energy elephant, the insane elepole said that the 50 megawatts of power that the energy elephant claims to have been added to the energy stock, is nothing but a lie. Oyiwa!!!

My people, when I heard the energy elephant say they have added 50 megawatts to the energy stock, I told my friends at Daavi's blue kiosk pharmacy that the guy, in usual elephant tradition, was telling a lie.

And lo and behold, the insane elepole let the cat out of the bag that nothing has been added to the energy stock.

My people, if clueless Neequaye himself has continued to tell lies about the energy situation, why would the guy in charge of energy also not tell lies in order to give himself some respite?

We are now in the golden age of lying.

Yes my people, lying has now become a virtue under the watch of the elephants whilst telling the truth has become a vice.

That is how upside down the system has become.

In fact, the elepole stated quite emphatically on the 99.7 noise box that if clueless Neequaye does not fire the elephant in charge of energy and find a more proper way of handling the crisis, the crisis will collapse the government.

My people, did you ever imagine that the insane elepole would have a temporary reprieve from his state of malady and make a very telling statement as regards the downfall of his paymasters the elephants?

Well, since wonders shall never cease, the elepole has for the first time, made a statement that is telling the elephants in the face that they have failed sons of the soil.

“Yehowa, worn da bo shi ake o hani seke yelor, ena dwemor fio”.

Oh yes, we thank the old man above that he has poured some of his healing grace on the elepole for him to be telling us that the end of the road for the elephants is in sight.

I am sure the blood that the beloved son of the old man above shed on Calvary on Friday, must have cleansed the insanity of the elepole that is why on Holy Saturday, he had to open his mouth and confess that his master clueless Neequaye, is a complete failure.

My people, that is the extent to which things are falling apart in the elephant colony.

As for me Cassius, what is exciting me in all this, is the fact that it is the hitting press conference of the Leader of the umbrella party that is causing so much havoc amongst the elephants.

The last time the Leader of the umbrella party held a press conference to right the wrong impression that was being created by clueless Neequaye that he inherited an empty national treasury, the elephants were so awestruck that they could not respond.

This time around, they decided to respond without thinking through the issues, and instead of hitting back at the umbrella party, they are killing themselves.

My people, you see the deadly blow that the learned professor has landed on the jaws of the elephants?

The learned professor is certainly calculating his steps before taking them.

They don't call him professor for nothing!

And did you hear the elepole say he can afford to live under the presidency of the professor?

My people, you think that the elepole would make such a revealing statement if he has not set his eyes on facts and figures that are pointing to the fact that the learned professor would be the next leader of the territory?

My people, when the end is nigh, it does not take a rocket scientist or a clairvoyant to see it.

Any ordinary eye can see from the goings-on that the elephants are at their wits end and with the end in sight and desperation setting in, they are less patient with each other and we ain't seen nothing yet as far as name-calling and the throwing of insults are concerned.

I can tell you for a fact that a lot of the elephants know that the gates of the prisons beckons and because they don't want to be jailed, we are going to start seeing and hearing a lot of buck passing, as they try to distance themselves from certain happenings hoping that they can hang the jail sentences around the necks of those who foolishly did things they should not have done.

My people, things have fallen apart for the elephants and their center is no longer holding.

It does not mean that they would not struggle to hold on to power and that is why we must keep the heat up their stinking asses and make sure that we finish them once and for all so they don't behave like dying snakes that can wake up and bite before finally dying.

Now that we have them on very tight ropes, let's keep them there and cut off their heads so they die an everlasting death.

Take care my people, and keep the flame of pressure burning from all angles.

Victory is in sight and we must not do anything to send it moving in another direction.

Adieus Amigos.

C'est moi

Cassius.

PS. Is it not a shame that the elephant in charge of energy can look us in the face and tell us that the coast of ivory people disappointed us at the last minute that is why we could not get power from them? So were they expecting a country at war to provide us with electricity? What kind of extremely stupid animals have we handed over power to such that they can be looking us in the face and telling us such idiotic stories? Which president in his right senses would ever imagine that a country just getting out of the throes of civil war would be able to give his territory electricity? Are we not being told that the coast of ivory people are rationing power that is why they cannot help us? Just about eight weeks ago, did clueless Neequaye not tell us that the coast of ivory people would help us with power? So if the coast of ivory people are rationing power, does it not mean that they never had any power that they were going to give us? Obviously, some of the presidents on the continent have come to realize how stupid clueless Neequaye is so when they meet him and notice that he is drunk, they just promise him all kinds of things so that he would stop pestering them with his nonsensical talk. “Mini oshina po ne?” My people, what kind of curse have we brought upon ourselves by allowing this dunce-of-a-drunkard to be in charge of this territory?