It Is the Law of the Boomerang, Nana Afia Pokuaa

Feature Article It Is the Law of the Boomerang, Nana Afia Pokuaa
MAR 4, 2024 LISTEN

In Ghana, we often say in the Akan language, over which Nana Afia Pokuaa (Kantimpo), popularly and affectionately called “The Vim Lady,” has far better command than I could ever fathom being able to acquire in two or three lifetimes, that: “If you poison your neighbor’s well, sooner than later, you will end up drinking from the same well.” Unfortunately, in the more than a decade-and-half that I have followed her otherwise quite impressive career in the Akan-broadcast media, the one great weakness or character foible that I have discovered about this fanatically Asante nationalist media celebrity is her apparent lack of emotional and psychological maturity.

You see, as a veteran media communications specialist myself, and one with more than two decades of college-teaching experience – in both the fields of media communications and the English language and Literature – the first counsel or advice that the media trainee is always given is the absolute necessity to maintain one’s professional poise and ideological balance in such a way that you will be able to make yourself affable and approachable to all kinds of people from every walk of life, potential newsmakers and eyewitnesses to some of the most important events and occurrences that could very well make a heck of a lot of difference to both your station in life and the wellbeing of society at large, in particular our collective communal security and our quality-of-life as an organic whole or entity.

Now, I really don’t know the academic and professional background from which Nana Afia Pokuaa entered the highly charged and very sensitive field of mass media communications, but up until just a couple of months ago, perhaps even a little less, I had ceased taking her any more seriously than any of our largely pedestrian local Ghanaian standup comedians or comics, as American are wont to say. It all suddenly began to change. This was after I watched The Vim Lady exquisitely deliver her own spontaneous interpretation of the equally splendid and masterful national development policy agenda by the widely presumed next President of the Sovereign Democratic Republic of Ghana, to wit, Vice-President Mahamudu Bawumia, in the state-of-the-art auditorium of the Madina-, Accra, based University of Professional Studies (UPSA).

Then and there, I almost immediately came to the definitive conclusion that Nana Afia Pokuaa was the one Akan-language broadcaster whose intellectual acumen and éclat may very well have been overshadowed by her apparent lack of urban polish. You see, I had almost completely written her off as a broadcast journalist who could not be taken seriously a while back, when there were widespread reports circulating in the media about the exponential rise in the incidence of sexual violence being meted some female Mental-Health Nurses at the Accra Mental Hospital, more popularly known as Osu Asylum, by some male mental patients who obviously needed to have been more suitably housed in a Maximum-Security Prison or even one of the better protected Regional Zoos, and definitely not in such apparently poorly guarded institutional facility as the Osu Mental Hospital, the oldest of its kind in the country. I was also quite certain that similar bestial incidents of sexual assault were going in some of the mental health facilities outside the Greater-Accra Region, where media scrutiny was obviously at the highest level.

Now, as I vividly recall with an upsurge of raw anger about a decade, or so, later, instead of commiserating with the victims of such brutal sexual assault or bestial rape, women like herself whose only crime was to have opted to professionally train to care for these unfortunate members of civilized Ghanaian society – trust me, they are everywhere around the world, in both the technologically advanced societies as well as the technologically retarded ones – Nana Afia Pokuaa, perhaps for some reason having more to do with her domestic upbringing, rather unwisely and recklessly chose to make jokes out of this most tragic and morally untenable situation, such as pointing to the likelihood of these male mental patients being more generously endowed with huge genitalia which were very likely of the texture and the feel of rock or steel at the peak of arousal. The civil and the legal right of these victims to be afforded the highest level of personal and professional security appeared to be the last thing on the mind of Nana Afia Pokuaa Kantimpo.

I also wondered what the reaction might have been, if it had been a male broadcaster and not a female one who had made the kind of salacious and raunchy comments made by Afia Pokuaa. In effect, the obviously sadistic implication here was that the Mental-Health Nurses at the Osu Asylum – by the way, Yours Truly briefly grew up near the Old Drama Studio in the late 1960s, presently the very site of the National Theater – were actually fortunate to have suffered the sort of violent sexual intercourse that, in the savagely sadistic imagination of Afia Pokuuaa, some sexually famished women, perhaps herself included, wished they could be receiving literally around the rock.

Which was why I could not help it but have a good and an almost unstoppable laugh, when I recently came across the news story in which The Vim Lady was reported to have revealed to her followers on Social Media that she was once almost raped by a “Driver’s Mate” on a fully packed Trotro Bus while traveling from Tema to Accra after covering a reportorial assignment for an unnamed newspaper a while back (See “Vim Lady Narrates Harrowing Tale of How She Was [Once] Sexually Molested in a Bus” 2/27/24). Now, isn’t there a saying that: “It takes one to know one”? Guess what, Dear Reader? The unnamed Driver’s Mate – I bet it absolutely was not Vice-President Mahamudu Bawumia, trust me – had figured out that Nana Afia Pokuaa was smack in the mood for some tough ass-whupping. Which was why she got so angry when her would-be-lover only ended up prematurely ejaculating in her lap. Good for you, Nana Afia Kantimpo! Any worthwhile lessons learned here?

*Visit my blog at: KwameOkoampaAhoofeJr

By Kwame Okoampa-Ahoofe, Jr., PhD
Professor Emeritus, Department of English
SUNY-Nassau Community College
Garden City, New York
February 29, 2024
E-mail: [email protected]