The audacity of TB Joshua

“TB was head and shoulders above all charlatans, quacks, imposters and masqueraders before and after him, and of that, there is no controversy.”

TB Joshua ─ oh boy ─ is my con artist of the century. I bestow this pompous glory on him post-humously without apologies to other experts of his trade, dead or alive.

No matter what department of his game you investigate, TB's pedigree in sorcery, divination and mystism is unparalleled. So manipulative was he that other names diminish when TB is evoked.

Charles Ponzi, Natwarlal, Sylvia Brown, False Dmitry and the remaining retinue of fellow con men dating back several hundreds of years all lack TB's nefarious treachery and perfidy. Indeed, TB was head and shoulders above all charlatans, quacks, imposters and masqueraders before and after him, and of that, there is no controversy.

Forsooth, he deserves a standing ovation on every Nigerian street for his sterling audacity in stage craftsmanship which did not only hoodwink his audience, but also diminished victims of their own sense of themselves and their reality, reducing them to absolute puppets. Oh, monstrous heavens, he sucked away their brains in broad daylight!

Pretty girls of varying nationalities waited in manipulation night and day for his holy touch. In their frenzy, they bought and swallowed gallons of TB's holy water and precious concoctions in place of authentic medication prescribed by doctors.

The best of these girls slept in his holy penthouse, not under angelic protection, but hidden from the eyes of the world by fortified pillars and sky-high walls until one by one, the prophet and man of God turned them into sexual commodities to the glory of God! TB was a predator extraordinaire, Nigeria’s default tele-evangelist and Africa's incurable sore!

While the chameleon faked godliness in public, he was a veritable fraud in private ─ accustomed to wizardry, cultistry, alchemy, hypnosis, sorcery, divination and witchcraft. TB was one of a kind. It would take a thousand years to produce another genius of such deceptive pedigree anywhere in the world.

Among those born of a woman, none has ever preyed so vilely on his fellows nor tormented them with superlative cruelty like TB Joshua. Yet, he was originally uneducated, uncertificated, even unrecognized by Christian associations in his own country.

The man who created such a fever- pitch global thirst for signs and wonders and attracted hundreds of thousands of gullible worshippers to his church was himself interested only in mammon and the dark arts of the East! He was so successful in faking cancerous healings and emptying the street of hawkers whom he paid and paraded in synagogue wheelchairs until at his command, they rose up to walk ─ mesmerizing the world with wonder.

TB's shadow ─ goodness me ─ attracted multitudes of miracle-seeking gullibles and disciples who left family, friends and possessions to follow the signs and wonders of his craft. He was next to God during the day but sat at the right hand of baal at night.

Presidents visited the Synagogue Church for All Nations to sing his praise and testify about his authentic miracles. How could any Ghanaian forget the embarrassing visual of President Mills chanting TB's adulation in that infamous heart- breaking video after he won the elections? He was only one of TB's high-profile victims.

Football was his holy passion too, and in this, he championed fake prophesies about national teams, with a precise interest in Ghana. It was a wonder how the man of God found time to indulge in football controversies when he showed up so late to godly meetings! He would have produced a video of his prophecy about the Black Stars after their elimination from AFCON to validate his prophecy!

But for the fact that TB pocketed the leaders of Nigeria, he would have been made to account for his necromancies long before his demise. Fortunately, the leaders were happy to look on as long as his pilgrims brought foreign currency to Nigeria to strengthen the naira.

Several pilgrims lost their lives under TB's supervision. Bodies were pulled out of the rubble when parts of the Synagogue collapsed. Many more died for abandoning the doctor's prescription for TB's concoctions. He raked in riches at the expense of his victims whom he fleeced unto death. He was too powerful for the accountability institutions of his country, so he flourished and waxed stronger in fictition day and night.

But his death was sudden and unexpected as is the case of those too strong for human justice. He was probably struck down by an angel of God once his cup was full.

May his memory be a memento of caution to this generation of miracle seekers who put their faith in self-seeking playboy evangelists of false spiritual origins rather than the word of God.