05.05.2023 Feature Article

It Will Be A Disaster For The Dead-Goat To Resurrect!

It Will Be A Disaster For The Dead-Goat To Resurrect!
05.05.2023 LISTEN

I HAD the occasion to discuss the exploits of a pimp who once ensured that prostitution was the order of the day in this country. I'm compelled to revisit the issue because the unrepentant pimp continues to make very ridiculous claims.

To refresh your memory, a pimp is a man who controls prostitutes and arranges clients for them, taking a percentage of their earnings in return.

This country once witnessed the exploits of one of the greatest pimps to ever set foot on its shores. He was proud of the nefarious acts of his damsels and did not hide his admiration for their whorish exploits. He also left no stone unturned in his determination to protect his wayward girls. All that mattered to him were the cowries the ladies brought. He epitomised the traits of those Dr. Jerry Boom once described as 'greedy bastards'.

After working as assistant pimp for over two years and subsequently as chief pimp for four years, his cup became full. He was arrested by the security authorities and incarcerated for four years. How we all jubilated over his incarceration!

Less than two years into his incarceration, the chief pimp publicly announced that he would rid the country of prostitution after serving his sentence. After serving his time, he was incarcerated for another four-year term. Ironically, he is still claiming to be the only one to rid the country of prostitution.

We would have believed his cock and bull story if he had confessed his crimes and asked for forgiveness. But we can't believe him when he still maintains his damsels did no wrong in selling their bodies in return for cowries.

So you see, his desire cannot be genuine since he still believes in the pimping business. Obviously, his proclamation is nothing but an attempt to hoodwink his compatriots into sympathising with him.

The Chief Pimp, President Ogwanfunu, was a president who institutionalised, created, looted and shared in this country. Not only did he look the other way when his appointees dabbled in corrupt practices, but was also caught 'in flagrante delicto' (red-handed) engaging in corrupt acts.

In case you've forgotten, he was the only sitting vice-president in this country to have had a committee set up by his own boss to investigate him for corruption. The committee, set up to investigate the shady Embraer jet deal, is what I refer to.

Again, President Ogwanfunu is the only president in the whole world to have been implicated in numerous court-certified scams. After a long wait, he finally admitted, albeit subtly, that he was 'Government Official 1' as mentioned in the stinking Airbus scandal. The same man was also mentioned for his role in the messy Goldman Sachs deal. How corrupt can a man be!

Was he also not the one who received a $100,000 Ford from Djibril Kanazoe, the Burkinabe contractor? Call it what you wish, but we all know the so-called gift was a 'thank you' from the Burkinabe contractor for the Ghana Embassy contract in his homeland.

It is, therefore, funny to hear such a man accusing others of engaging in 'sakawa' – a Ghanaian term for 'scams'. Yes, 'sakawa' was his favourite term before the 2020 polls. It was indeed very rich coming from a man fully drenched in corruption.

I'm sure Abusuapanin remembers the six so-called mobile clinics procured by President Ogwanfunu at a unit cost of $80,000 but became white elephants because these weren't fit for purpose. The trucks are currently overgrown with weeds in a junk yard somewhere around Korle-Gonno.

Was President Ogwanfunu not the one who presided over the stealing of more than $12 million of our taxes on salvaged 207 buses, fitted with kitchen cabinets, as ambulances? It's refreshing to know that a certain Forson, and two others, had been dragged to the courts to answer for their respective roles in the unadulterated thievery.

Was he also not the one who gifted his blo d brother a bauxite reserve worth $200 billion at Nyinahin? The pure thievery was only stopped by the timely intervention of President Dee.

Sometimes I wonder if President Ogwanfunu has the word 'shame' in his lexicon. If he had, he would be the last person in this country to accuse others of 'sakawa' or corruption. Perhaps, he is being emboldened by President Nana Dee’s reluctance in cracking the whip on his errant appointees.

It is obvious that President Ogwanfunu wants to ride on the waning popularity of the Nana Dee government to the presidential throne. No wonder he has now become a comedian lampooning Nana Dee and Bawumia, instead of espousing policies to convince his compatriots.

He erroneously thinks we have forgotten about the numerous create, loot and share schemes under his watch. He still deludes himself into believing that his compatriots have forgotten four years of “dumsor” they had to endure under his reign.

Of course, some do have very short memories. But the few of us with long memories will not shirk our responsibility of reminding our compatriots of the ills of the Ogwanfunu government, in order not to repeat the mistake it made in the 2008 polls.

President Ogwanfunu epitomises the proverbial thief who, being chased by a mob, also starts shouting “thief, thief” to deflect attention from himself. But his scream will not do the trick because he has already soiled himself after eating bad food. Even those who have difficulties perceiving smell could tell that his stool has an unusually strong, fetid smell.

'Walahi', I shudder to imagine seeing President Ogwanfunu on the presidential throne again. I can only imagine the numerous 'create, loot and share' schemes under his sleeves. It is thus a sacred duty of any true Asomdwekromanian to ensure the 'Dead-Goat' never resurrects. Yes, the 'Dead-Goat' must not, cannot and should not be allowed to resurrect.

See you next week for another interesting konkonsa, Deo volente!