Resolve To Be A Lovely Spouse!

A new year has begun, and many of us are setting (if not already) new year resolutions. One major aspect of our lives which requires yearly resolution and commitment is our relationships.

Everyone dreams of a lovely relationship [marriage]. However, it doesn’t come on a silver platter; it takes much efforts. Marriage is an "Empty Box", and like a bank account, it requires consistent deposits by lovely partners – a faithful man or husband (Proverbs 20:6-7) and a virtuous woman or wife (Proverbs 31:10-11) – to make it full of what they want to have: love, fun, smile, laughter, compliments, and affirmations. What you put in is what you can get. It’s Garbage in; Garbage out!

To be a lovely spouse, thus, is a great goal you can set for yourself for the year.

Tips to help you to become a lovely spouse
1. Assess or evaluate your relationship
Successful relationships require assessments periodically. Sit down with your partner and ask yourselves these questions regarding your relationship:

• What do I do that you would want me do more of?
• What do I do that you would want me do less of?
• What do I do that you would want me stop doing altogether?
• What do I not do that you would want me to start doing?

Discuss and commit to the responses on merit devoid of selfishness on anyone’s part, and they can help you to become a better person – a lovely spouse!

2. Build Friendship
Friendship is the strongest relationship of all. Having your spouse as your best friend is one of the best things that can happen to your marriage. Make the conscious effort to become the best of friends, and that will make your marriage the happiest. Couple who are friends can spend much time together to create emotional and physical intimacy, which is a great factor for marital satisfaction.

3. Play your role
Contemporary couples are increasingly becoming confused with “unclearly” defined and acknowledged roles as “nobody appears to know who is supposed to do what” due to shifting in roles in recent times. But God, from the beginning, designed marriage with laid down tenets for the man and woman to complement each other with different but critical and pivotal roles. The man must be a Leader and Love his wife; the woman must be a Helpmate and Submit to her husband.

4. Respect and Appreciate Your Partner
We very often fail to appreciate and respect the many things our partners do for us. We are tempted to say, “Oh it is their responsibility to do it. Why would I thank them for doing what they are supposed to do”. Appreciation, however, is an application for more. People who constantly appreciate others have more done for them. Make it a mark to always appreciate your partner for their roles in the relationship, and never look down on them. Understand that your roles are only different and learn to respect and appreciate each other’s diverse abilities and roles.

5. Grow [Together and Separately]
Very often, couples have the tendency to grow separately than to grow together. Though it is important to grow and develop individually before you can adequately provide support for couple growth, couples should be wary not to grow apart. They should learn to create balance to grow both separately and together. Couples that want to grow together should learn to eat, bath, sleep, pray, play, study or learn and make decisions together. How often are you interested in the personal, professional, economic, and spiritual growth of your partner? You should be concerned about the growth and development of each other, and as a couple together.

6. Be Open-minded
Be willing to try new things and consider new ideas. Listen to your significant other, evaluate the information they give and consider their opinions from a different perspective to help you arrive at a consensus for informed decisions. It requires revising your views, if need be, based on what you have learnt – and you shouldn’t be ashamed of it. It is a sign of intellectual integrity. Open-mindedness allows couples to be at ease to have effective communication and it prevents misinformation, misconclusion and misjudgement.

7. Forbear and Forgive
No one is perfect, including you and yours and that’s a major reason why you should be tolerant and forgiving! Learn to be open-hearted. Show sympathy, understanding and generosity towards your partner. Be benevolent, good-hearted, and kind. Be tender, considerate, and helpful. Your spouse is as human as you are and may stumble now and then. Make room to forbear their faults and be ready to forgive their shortcomings.

It takes lovely spouses to make a lovely marriage. Remember, there are two people in a relationship [marriage], so both the man and woman must make effort to become better partners. Resolve to be a lovely spouse and encourage your significant other to be same.