Peloton Wellness Card Membership for Congressional Staff; Windfall from January 6 Abortive Trump Revolt?

It would cost American taxpayers approximately a half-million dollars. That is $ 500K. The news item that carried this story piqued my attention and interest almost immediately, because I did not even know that Peloton was the name of one of the dozens of giant health-fitness clubs dotted across our vast empire of a country. Which sounded to me as all well and good, except that I also wanted to know precisely how long the members of both the lower-house of Congress, that is, the august House of Representatives, and the upper-house of Congress, which is the Senate, had been having access to membership of this Peloton fitness club and why it had taken so long, not that I knew exactly how long, for such privilege to be extended to the second-class citizen employees of these Congressional and Senatorial Representatives (See “House of Representatives to Give Staff Free Peloton Memberships, Costing Taxpayers” FOX Business 5/14/22).

Since no specific reason had been given by the writer of the aforesaid news report for the decision to avail some 10,000 Congressional Staffers a Peloton membership, I had to look for the most obviously possible and plausible reason, which immediately brought to mind the January 6, 2021, orchestration of a coup d’état by some fanatical supporters of the epically and totally convincing loser of the November 2020 US Presidential Election, namely, Mr. Donald John Trump. What could obviously have motivated the Nancy Pelosi Group to extend free membership access to the Peloton fitness club to some 10,000 Congressional Staff Members could be nothing short of the sudden discovery that too many of these aides, advisers and gofers of the Who’s Who among the most powerful politicians of the land were in much too bad of a shape to have been able to effectively fight off these coup-plotting scumbags, largely members, supporters and sympathizers of the Republican Party, the present main opposition political party of the United States of America’s Federal Government.

This unprecedented coup attempt had been motivated by an electorally defeated President Trump’s fiery determination not to wisely and lawfully concede defeat and quietly, calmly and nobly hand over the democratic reins of governance to the older and much more mature former Vice-President and career politician who had irrecoverably beaten the hip-shooting cantankerous New York City real-estate proprietor by more than 7 million votes. Now, the latter figure is equivalent to the population of at least two dozen of those Third-World countries, largely in Africa and Latin America, that the then-President Trump had called a mini-conference in the Oval Office, at the White House, the main and official presidential suite of the most powerful nation in the universe, and disdainfully confided to these conferees, largely the Congressional Leaders of the US Republican Party, that his first and foremost foreign policy agenda was having these “Shit-Hole Denizens” kept completely out of the territorial confines of These United States of America as distantly tolerable and spatially manageable.

The half-German and half-Scottish-descended American President had let it be known to his conferees of very close associates which, by the way, included at least one woman of Afro-Haitian descent, that it was well-nigh time to Make America Great Again – “Read my lips: let’s make ‘MAGA’!” He then went on to further explain that he was going to not only build the longest and tallest wall between the United States of America and the “Mexican Rapists,” but even more significantly, he was also going influx or literally swamp the United States with Nordic nationals from Sweden, Denmark and Norway, among a couple or so others, who were, in his warped and lurid imagination, the finest and the most smashingly beautiful Teutonic Humans on Earth. You see, the stark and scandalous absurdity of such edict is the fact that anybody, American and non-America, with even the most rudimentary knowledge of American history is well aware of the fact that the greatest moment of American history was about a decade before the faux-MAGA architect’s paternal grandfather arrived hereabouts in the United States, that is, well after Continental African-descended people, largely from West Africa, had done the lion’s share of taming America’s wild lands into the civilized existential cynosure that unquestionably attracted Grandfather Strumph/Strumf from Bavaria to the United States of America.

Indeed, some of us have even wondered why the so-called American New World had not been renamed The Sovereign Democratic Republic of New Africa, as one of the African American Liberation Groups sought to declare several states in the American South during the heady Black Civil Rights Revolutionary Days of the 1960s. I suppose I also got interested in the Peloton Story because it is the sort of narrative that corrupt copycat African politicians and governments are wont to routinely point to as a devious means of alerting their criminally creamed electors that it is perfectly normal for their leaders to live high on the hog because, after all, even the largely fiscally responsible American politicians also do it with lightening-speed alacrity.

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By Kwame Okoampa-Ahoofe, Jr., PhD

English Department, SUNY-Nassau

Garden City, New York

May 14, 2022

E-mail: [email protected]