Culture Collision, Difficulties, And Misunderstanding In Interracial Marriages Of Africans And White People

Due to migration, tourism, education, economic growth, and social development, the number of interracial marriages is rapidly increasing in every part of the world. A lot of Africans are married to whites, even though there is discrimination and differences in views against people of different cultures.

Gone are the days in the United States of America, certain parts of Europe, and during the Apartheid era in South Africa when black people were not allowed to marry Caucasians. Today, interracial marriage can be seen in both developing and developed countries throughout the world.

Certain conflicts are unavoidable in any marriage, especially in interracial marriages due to cultural, traditional, and custom differences. Once an African marries a white woman, there are many things that he doesn’t expect to be a problem but will be a big problem that can lead to an exchange of words.

Interracial relationships between Africans and white people can be difficult sometimes because of differences in culture. Photo credit: Jiji-blog.com

In Africa, it’s the responsibility of Africans to take care of their parents when they start working. They carry a load of care by contributing financially to the welfare of the elderly and sometimes extending their help to brothers and sisters, but such responsibility is rare in developed countries.

So, when an African marries a white woman and starts sending home money for his or her parents, there can likely be a confrontation from your partner. A white man or woman can tell his African partner not to send money to her parents. This particular problem has split up many marriages.

If a white woman asks her African husband not to remit or transfer money to his parents, you may think she is cruel, but she isn’t. Since in developed countries, children hardly take care of their parents, she or he finds it completely wrong for an African husband or wife to carry the financial burden of their parents.

My Senegalese neighbor's marriage ended just three weeks ago. I saw the white woman taking her belongings from the house. Later, the African told me their marriage hasn’t been easy despite having a beautiful daughter.

According to him, whenever he remits money to his parents in Africa, there is a problem. "She hasn’t wanted this since we married fifteen years ago, but I have been telling her it’s my money. Therefore, I need to take care of my parents in Africa." "This is something she doesn’t want to accept, "he told me.

After reading the story, one may conclude that a white woman is a bad person. However, I will not judge it that way because she is not familiar with that in Africa, since, in developed countries, you don’t see children giving financial assistance to parents. Parents would rather give money to their children.

For example, when my boss’s daughter was getting married, she and her husband assisted her daughter financially with the marriage and assisted her financially again with purchasing a house. How did I know? She was happy about my beautiful bicycle, and I told her that my son bought it for me as a birthday present.

Right in front of me, she said, "I have to buy my son a birthday present, but not my son buys it for me." She then told me what she and her husband did for their daughter. I just laughed because that’s the way it is in almost all developed countries. There is no need to defend myself by telling her any story that might not convince her.

If an African is remitting money to his sister or brother, your wife can question you if your sister or brother doesn’t work. She could be angry over that because she feels they have to work to take care of themselves. I don’t blame her because, in developed countries, such things are rare.

So, the best thing an African can do to enjoy a happy interracial marriage is to let their partner understand that in Africa there are no child, social, and unemployment benefits and my parents are old, etc; and, therefore, depend on me. Let her understand that you will help them, but only with a little money.

Like every partner, a white man or woman wants his or her partner to be transparent without hiding anything from each other. If you have been remitting your parents' money without telling him or her, and he/she finds out, she will not be a happy person at that moment. Things can be very ugly.

Certain issues disturb African men or women in interracial marriages. An African knows that in Africa, things are very difficult, so she needs to work hard to build a house in Africa. Some white partners will oppose that because some have no intention of settling in Africa.

They say "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." White people love vacations. So, if you are an African and you marry a white man or woman, expect to travel for vacation. Since this involves a lot of money, some Africans are not interested; therefore, this may cause a problem between interracial partners.

Another potential source of conflict is the difference in understanding of male and female gender roles and different views on household budgeting. It is not surprising that there are conflicts between spouses in cross-cultural marriages related to the expression of love and intimate relationships.

The fundamental differences in the very nature of interracial marriages are mostly caused by the clash of cultures or things Africans do that are not often done by white people. To me, such cultural differences shouldn’t lead to separation or divorce.

As an African, after getting married to a white man or woman, don’t hide anything from her. Let your wife or husband understand your commitment to him/her and your parents, and surely they will accept some of your culture and traditions while you also please her by responding to some of the things they want you to do or be familiar with.