Children and Parental Weaknesses vs Parenting Self-Awareness

Children and Parental Weaknesses vs Parenting Self-Awareness - The Difference Between Matured Mindsets As Against Immature Mindsets

This article is predicated on an analogy about life events. Its main import is not to undermine but highlight the difference between matured mindsets as against immature mindsets.

The most difficult and unappreciative vocation is parenting. However, becoming aware of both your weaknesses and emotions and leverage them, will surely help make it more likely to achieve your ultimate goals, no matter the frustration.

There are a few common ways that otherwise smart people undermine their own goals and betray a lack of emotional intelligence when they want to convince others to help them achieve something.

It can come as a shock when those charming and endearing babies we bring into our families get to a place where they think and realize that not only do mom and/or dad have weaknesses, but that they can push, poke and exploit those weaknesses for their own gains.

Be careful. Be warned. Never gloss over the actions. Whether they are playing one parent against the other to get what they want, or working the guilt or feelings of our inability to deal with a situation or better still our inadequacies as parents.

It is quite common for children to learn how to push or poke, into those parental weaknesses and benefit unfairly from them. As a reminder to all parents - be aware about what will be going on. It is up to us to stand up, to get tough and try to fend off the exploiters!

It's always necessary and a must measure, to read through the lines, of every bad and disagreeable behavior of children, and to take the needed measures against intrusions. Because it would help, if you have self-awareness about your weaknesses too. Know that as parents we can really get into trouble if the children know our weak spots and we either do not know, or we are in denial about them.

As an example, if you are a sucker for a convulsive gasps stories and might not have realize it, your child may have learned earlier on that if he cries and sobs and whines, you will feel sorry for him or her and give in. The advice from experience is not to suppress or hide from the reality.

If you know you are easily influenced by emotions and have a weaknesses to cave in, for a sob story, learn to distant yourself when the child turns on the drama or learn how to NOT give in. Life's experience should be every parent's teacher as your children gets older.

For there's a place in leadership and in life, for long-windedness. Sometimes you have to write down everything you know, even just to discover what you truly think. Sometimes silence speaks volumes. Taking time to weed out the many things you might want to say. In order to make the ones that you truly need to say more memorable, thus making the difference between confusion and clarity.

What my children were very good at was ganging up on me when I become tense, anxious or worried about exploring a subject that involved anyone. I used to refer to it as the three of them “going in for the kill” as in a situation when one of the group of animals was weak and had fallen, the animals would rush in to take them out.

Many a time, it didn’t matter to them, if I was the dad or not, they saw that I was starting to lose influence and authority or momentum, so they would bond together, in order to try to get what they wanted. Once I got over the emotional hurt of this and, realized what they were doing, I learned how to stand up and protect myself. The difference between matured mindsets as against immature mindsets.

It is important not to take your child’s behavior personally and get your feelings hurt. They are doing what kids do and trying to take advantage of the window of opportunity. At the same time, never gloss over the actions.

Finally, when people are on the bend to exploit a weaknesses, never underestimate. They muddle directions and meander as they talk. You need to develop strategies that would help you in combating the attempted exploitation. Learn how to stop them before they take advantage of your weakest areas.

Thanks for letting me in this afternoon. Share your thoughts and feelings.

Enjoy the rest of your day.