Topless Akufo-Addo?

“But my greatest annoyance is the face they imposed on the shapeless body ─ crafted to look like His Excellency. In this malpractice, the originators exhibited indiscipline of the highest carelessness. For the body they imposed on the leg is almost drooping, falling languidly out of place and shape.”

Ghana is indeed a free country. Too free, l sometimes think. How many countries in the world would entertain indecent publications of their president, half naked, apparently locked up with a concubine in a suggestive act of lurid conviviality (meant to bring him public infamy) and would not send soldiers of the night to smoke out the miscreants and punish the rumor mongers of presidential privacy?

Try it in Putin's Russia or Xi's China and see if your head remains on top of your neck by sunset.

But in this country, our misunderstanding of freedom of speech anoint us with power to spread wild rumors and hearsays freely on people's phones and computers, while the licensed rumor mongers sell their precious wares voraciously on radio and television in a manner that pushes our freedom to its inelastic edge.

I myself saw the photos, and l say l doubly doubt their originality, let alone their holiness. For it is questionable how a vibrant man in that rare mood of a lifetime would still leave his pants in its original poise, rigidly tucked under his belt under lock and key while he pretends to be busy away from his sole object of adventure and experimentation. That is not the way of real men!

A real man would cast his pants immediately away like Lucifer’s demons (just like the shirt was hurled away to no man’s land) and directly commence proceedings of pleasure without further unnecessary circumlocution or prevarication.

And here is another reason for my doubt. In such unnatural moments, which is easier to cast away, is it the shirt or the pants? If for the sake of argumentation the shirt is cast away first, you would expect a follow up motion directed at eradicating the pants too, for after all, that's where the fire burns.

Unfortunately, in the scenario described by this fake topples president, the pants remained in their original pose and rigid situation unaffected by the hurly-burly of the fires burning within and that is the chief provoker of the photo’s dubiosity.

And as if to shame the phallic conjecture of this photo, it is contrived and manipulated to look away from the object of its captivation in an embarrassing astonishment, pretending to be attending to some important state assignment at the other end of the room while photos of a waiting woman sitting down in clothes (apparently shocked at his fidgeting at the eleventh hour) completes a scene of complete dullness and incredible boredom.

Do the promoters of this fiasco want Ghanaians to believe that their president is a playboy? This photo, lam afraid, is a masterclass of disaster! It fails to achieve its intentions by every serious appraisal.

But my greatest annoyance is the face imposed on the shapeless body, made to look like His Excellency. In this malpractice, the originators exhibited indiscipline of the highest temperature. For the body they imposed on the leg is almost drooping, falling languidly out of place and shape.

The face itself appeared contorted, disheveled, drowsy, abhorrent, unexcited. No one in such a vantage place or circumstance would ever produce such a nonchalance like the doctors of this disposition pretend. Oh, how l hate this photo!

Clearly, this cut and paste farce must be discredited even by social media for all its ruinous accommodations. I am a firm believer in free speech, but sometimes freedom, if it is too free can be clumsy. This photo is clumsy, much to do about nothing. It is a political exaggeration and I would play no part it this malaise.