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11.11.2021 Feature Article

Hurricane Broni Strikes!

Hurricane Broni Strikes!
11.11.2021 LISTEN

“Miss Broni has lately released a photo featuring her good self in a pose very close to the president in an undisclosed location. Clearly, His Excellency looked very relaxed, intimately very happy, decidedly sober and altogether contented.”

However clean the affinity between our president and Serwaa Broni was, the relationship appears to have turned rather sour and ugly ─ extremely rancorous.

Friendship is a living organism that depends on constant affection and loving stratagem to thrive. Even presidents and powerful people who abandon their official duties to stray into the thicket of “side-chicking”could pay the ultimate price for their salaciousness if things don’t go according to plan. My friends, love is a very delicate wonder! She can sting like a bee and bite like a serpent if abused.

A certain lady has been all over town accusing powerful people in and around the Flagstaff House of waging a war of deliberate harassment and intimidation against her. But that is not all. She has accused our security capos of staging a robbery attack on her and taking away vital information that could expose her secret engagements with the president.

Miss Broni has lately released a photo featuring her good self sitting very close to the president in an undisclosed location. Clearly, His Excellency looked very relaxed, intimately very happy, decidedly sober and altogether contented. I am not sure Mama Becky would be very excited about the telltale photo, for she was sitting too close for a common friendship.

But Miss Broni has threatened further expose’ that she claims could damage the Flagstaff House, and shock us all. Is this imbroglio the result of a frosty side-chicking or is Miss Broni crying wolf to enjoy some limelight?

When my attention was first drawn to this rather special presidential storm, I mistook her for an attention grabber and interpreted her jabs as one of sour grapes until a Member of Parliament brought the matter to national prominence on the Floor of Parliament.

Unsurprisingly, when the MP dropped her name, it ignited a series of tickling sounds and sensations of merriment and laughter from some honorable members. If l were the Speaker in the august House that day, l would pretend l did not hear the name and simply allow sleeping dogs to sleep their sound sleep. But being a good man, and uncomfortable with the explosion of excitement, screams and pure happiness from the blue corner, while the red corner struggled to control the butterflies in their stomachs, he proceeded to exercise firm control over the situation by ordering a retraction of the name. But that was another mistake.

For thereupon, the MP mischievously retracted “Broni” and settled on Serwaa Akoto, instead of Sewaa Broni, which again discharged another tasty blast of happy cries, yelps and shouts, shrieks and sound bites of joy giggling and jubilation, to the delight of those of us analyzing her treatment by the people’s representatives.

Whatever degree of hurt Akosua may have suffered by her association with the president, let her be advised that social media is the wrong place to do her laundry. Our President may not be an angel, but he is a good man. On record, he is the only president in our history to have promised Jesus a National Cathedral and is working very hard to complete it in record time.

Tell Miss Broni I say she can’t kick against the pricks. This is not how to thank a friend for his great kindness to her ─ kindness that included flying around the countryside in the presidential jet at his own vibrant command.

Remind her that soon, the National Cathedral would be ready to hear confessions. We will invite her to join the main dedication service, where all personal iniquities and their national counterparts would be forsaken, recanted and completely forgiven. The battle is still the LORD’s!

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