ModernGhanalogo

FEATURED: Why Yaoh Hates Your Marriage So Much!!...

body-container-line-1
07.11.2002 Feature Article

Yamoransah Boga reporting from the fante confideration

Listen to article

I hail from the lovely Fanti republic of Yamoransah. Located in the "Sentra"(as my people love to pronounce it) region of the Gold Coast continent.However schooling and living in the foreign city of Accra has made me an icon among my people. Upon arrival in Yamoransah, my aunt could'nt be more proud of her Boga! As a matter of fact she made a meal out of the sardine which she had kept in her drawer for 9 years awaiting to be used for a special visitor. Walking to the washroom( my uncle insists its called the "toilet") I was given the newest "ebrotuo" to wipe myself. My uncle almost wouldn't let go, claiming it was a pretty ripe one from the most prolific corn plant on his farm. On the other hand a lot has happened since last time i visited. Whiles i was in town I was invited to be a part of a huge meeting between all the surrounding nations. Within our(Yamoransah) geographical location, many surrounding nations have dialects that sound similar to ours. Therefore trying to "fry" fish out who belongs to which nation, is often an apoofii of a brain hustle. To alleviate this qotor-strophe, the leaders of these nations without hesitation, came out with the idea of identifying us by our inventions and our chofi-sticated technological alavancement. As a proud citzen of Yamoransah it sounded great! Our Close buddies The Republic of Cape-Coast were accredited for their ability to make sandwiches, burger,bacon,steak,noodles,and chebab from the beef of akrenti(grasscutter). This is known to them as the grasscutterization process. Indeed not many people can identify themselves to the scope at which theses folks grasscutterizes their grasscutters.Second on the decison list was; The people's Republic of Apam.They were to be known as the construction giants among the nations. Though there were misunderstandings among the leaders as to why they wouldn't be reconized as the nation with the "beautifullest" men. That is to say, most of the men from Apam had gelly curls, and usually they wore both shirts and pants made of "Esam kotoku"(sack thats contains flour). As a matter of fact their representative proved his case by explaining that, the Nikabokas and the shirts made of the esam kotokus matches with their whites socks and black custom made afromoses sandals. But then the Apam-mish representatives withdrew their protest after realising that most of their young people have been going bald from an overdose of "ativiata". They realised it wouldn't be a profound identity to be proud of. Throughout the proceedings security was given by special operation forces from the winneba central command.Popularly known as Ahenfie police. Winneba doesn't only boast of her soldiers but also a world renowed reputation for being the headquaters of the World Wildlife Federation. To support the well being of their wildlife, a deer is killed annually to reduce overpopulation. It wouldn't be right to build a fante confederation without the people of Yamoransah. Out of the brain heads present Yamoransah was given the title for the nation with most technological advancement. It was realized that their invention of the laser guided rocket launcher made of 236 pounds of"Fante Dokun", the highly infalammable mineral elements of bankyeasi and uranium 236 has never been done before. Moreover, their construction of a 60 storey hotel which stands on a foundation made up of four pillars of "Etsew"(banku) is an architectural masterpiece. As already stated by the wellknown academician "Proffesa" O.D,(PHD. KNUST, 7th best university in the world) Yamoransah dokunu as a matter of fact "yediso tire"(it helps fixes the puncture of all tires). Yamoransah has the reputation of being the city of brotherly love.Infact the representatives explained of how Yamoransah junction traders chase moving cars screaming at passengers to buy their kenkey or else their lives are in danger,there is nothing more loving and welcoming than this. Moreover the experience of the daily yamoransah junction fiasco of chasing moving cars has produced world class athletes like Ben Ato Johnson, Maurice kwamina Greene, and Mike Adu tyson. All proud citizens of Yamoransah. In conclusion, the cheifs of all the nations came to the idea of not wearing traditional cloths for their festivals(afache). But as their technological minds advance so should their fashion apperance.It came to their wise conclusion to wear the very funky tye and dye, alongside running shoes and baseball caps to match.Not forgetting to always chew gum to make the funky look complete. I was amazed at the advancement of my people,but the meeting had to be cut short since the sharp brains had to go and finish a scientific study to come up with petrol made up of "dokuno hunsu".

David Sey
David Sey, © 2002

The author has 1 publications published on Modern Ghana. Column Page: DavidSey

Disclaimer: "The views/contents expressed in this article are the sole responsibility of the author(s) and do not neccessarily reflect those of Modern Ghana. Modern Ghana will not be responsible or liable for any inaccurate or incorrect statements contained in this article."

Reproduction is authorised provided the author's permission is granted.

body-container-line