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12.09.2020 Feature Article

God has killed me - Part 35

God has killed me  - Part 35
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"To me, it seems that we have turned back, Mr Karl," said Mr Heinz with sadness in his eyes. He looked up to the white-painted ceiling of the room and the lamp that was on shining bright. "When we consider that the world around us has advanced so fast and their mind has improved, we here are still stuck in the misery of our own darkness, the darkness that is ion our blood...the darkness that needs to wash aware and set us free."

"Life and your destiny, Sir...this is all in your own hands," added Mr Karl smiling at his host that has gained great influence over the witches and wizard scene in his district. "When you are ready to change, you can do it as this is only an aspect of will. But if you feel more comfortable to enjoy your traditions...never start and cry over your misfortune and blame us Whites for it."

"I cannot agree more with you, Mr Karl," got Mr Heinz up, walked around the room his hands behind his back and said further," as we have all one in common...we are all humans beings!"

"That´s the bottom line!"

"Yes, that is the bottom line," continued Mr Heinz to walk up and down the room. a bubble of silence hangs over the scenery. No word was spoken. Everyone looked down hoping to be Enlighted by whatever answer. No cars were passing outside, utter silence all around. "Will we ever make it?" raised Mr Heinz his head and looked Mr Karl straight into the eyes. "Will we ever make it?" did he repeat, sat down next to Mr Karl not leaving him out of sight.

"Not out of yourself, not without a catalyst. When a people turn around and around in hamster wheel...out of their own help is never possible."

"We need a saviour?"

"When Jesus Christ left Nazareth, he did so know the Prophet never means anything in his own territory but has to leave his well-known place to serve people somewhere else. Why should it be among people differently when Jesus Christ had declared it with his own mouth and had left his city of childhood and home of his family? Are we humans more than him?"

"Most certainly not!" answered Mr Heinz got up and walked again up and down the room, hands behind his back. He looked up and down searching for the right answer. Then he stood still, right in the middle of the room and proclaimed: "Mr Karl...we need help...seriously, we need help!"

"Amen!"

"No, I do not want to go...never ever in my life do I want to set foot on African soil...God. Why do you put this picture before my eyes? Why do you squeeze my heart with his idea? Why do you let my heart pump for that continent? No God...that is not a place for me. Maybe other love poverty and see sense in life to help the poor people that they think we Whites have made poor and starving close to death. All the wars on the continent...what for? This is big politics and if any soldier sees a personal challenge to go out and fight others, to kill the enemy...let them do it. And when the UNO wants to help there and invest money in Millions and Millions with no end...let me out of that...let me be in peace. Africa is not a continent for the white man, only for the black man. They should manage their own affairs; I do not want to have any business in it. All these discussions about fairness, exploitation, about natural resources coming to an end, corruption, drinking water not being enough for the upcoming overpopulation....no, I do not want that at all. Spare me from facing misery, self-inflicted and not fought back. Let's face reality, all these ideas of pan-Africanis have no chance as they are only words, sweet and nice sweets so soft to the ears of Africans and the rest of the world. But they are only words, not actions and will never be action plans and actions as such as the foundations are not in place by the once that all across the world have that one word on their tongues `Pan-Africanism`. where is the constitution for such a movement and state, where are the strategies to implement it, the bodies to make it happen, the people to carry it through. Oh no God, all this talk is getting on my nerves as they are without substance. Prominent names are behind these sweet words and when you look behind their sweet words spoken in anger about their own people, you realize beyond sweet words there is not much substance. I mean God, how they the African be taken seriously when they allow Chinese to build the Headquarters of the African Union in Addis Ababa? Yes, the country is well chosen for its location as never having been colonized by any country but if the African countries would have really been serious they would have never ever in the whole wide world allowed any foreign country to build such a vital building as a symbol of unity. This demonstrates more than anything else that they still want others to mingle in their own internal affairs. This headquarters show more than anything in the world their dis-unity and the spirit the delegations having their annual meetings in that buildings get brainwashed by outsiders again and again as all the walls of that building breath the air of Chinese people. So, please God spares me of going there and see all the evilness that is haunting the African continent. Here in Germany, my life is so much easier. Look all the friend and friendly people I have around me. I live in a stable country, in a very rich country that made many mistakes in the past and has to admit to it and learn from it, most certainly, I will not deny. We have come a long way, that is for sure. We have seen wars on the European continent, have seen poverty, sickness all around killing Millions like flies. We hated each other in Europe for generations, now we cooperate more or less well in unity that sets a clear signal against other powers like America, Russia, China and India. And we are a continent that has no significant natural resources, at least we Germans have none depending entirely on our brain, our intellectual capacity. When you have nothing, you can trade with which can bring you ahead of others and to the mountain top, all you can rely on is your brain and along with it your character. Both are twins, one cannot make it to the mountain top without the other as out of both in the end inventions emerge and out of inventions vibrant and profitable businesses emerge very well. These two aspects set you as a country, as a people above any other people...to lead them in the end whether or not they see it that way...but when they are clever they would understand to follow a weak and mindless people would eventually see its own downfall, but to follow people that have gone far ahead of a people will open the door to even overtake that successful person. God...please...my head is paining me too much. I hear all these conflicting voices...all these attacks on me...Go save me...please God my head is paining me, the voices are too much. I cannot bear it any longer. Please God give me peace and freedom of all the nonsense I hear in my head. God, yes...I know that some say it will never happen, it is impossible, it has never happened before...that you are the one deciding the fortune and misfortune of a person...but od, trust me in one thing, I am not made for that. It is a work far beyond my capacity. I am not strong enough. There are many other people out there that have open mouths and can talk much better than I can. Oh God, spare me from my misery...I beg of you. All this faces in my head...my head is going to explode. Yes, I can hear you, that a people can only move forward when they copy the best of other nations and avoid their mistakes but learn from their mistakes and turn them round to make their own future better and better. This can only be done by someone giving a personal good example and ace a people by their hands to guide them into a better future like a tough teacher...a tough teacher with a great inspired heart that over time will be loved and respected by his students. But for heaven sake.... please God....let me stay here in Germany where I belong to and not face the hardship that Africa means to a White Man like me. And this loud voice in me...this terrible voice that does not want to shut up. Oh God, make this loud voice silent, shut it down. Oh God...this voice is not ending, it is tormenting me...Oh Go, my heard is bursting, I can no longer breath. My heart is confusing me, it is pumping too much. I feel the blood in my brain too much. Oh God, safe me...please God have mercy on me. And here this voice is again. I can feel I how it is coming out from the darkness of my soul into my spirit, how it is blasting into my ears...that the most peaceful country in Africa is Ghana and for that erason, it is mandated by you to lead the African Union and be the ruler of the world in generations to come...but they need some to be their great teacher...oh no, God...I do not want to hear this tormenting, this terrible voice. God, oh my God...please do not do this to me. I have so much more to do than to give my life for people that will hate me, that will want me dead and that will only see what I had done to them in a good and positive light after I had found my perfect peace long ago. These will be ungrateful people that I would have to fight against with little support. Why on earth...oh my beloved God...should I ever want to do that. I mean that is madness to the highest level. No God let me have my peaceful life in this country that I know so well. Please...why should I give my life for others that will hate me?"

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