Freedom never comes - Part 42

"My son you know I am not well educated, I do not understand much of the things around you, the things that matter to you most. Now that you got the recommendation for higher education, I cannot help you on that path. All the little things I can do for you, to give you shelter and food, I will always surely give to you. For the rest you must fight for yourself. When you need money to pay for your future and understanding of the issues of life, my son, you are left alone to fight your way through whatever will come your way and against you. I will back you and agree with your decisions even I might not understand what your decision is all about as I do not understand so many things in this world. I labour to feed you kids and now as you all step by step are about to leave home I hope and trust you will remember your old mother," was Heinz Wohlfarth hearing the voice of his beloved mother in his min while starring at the ceiling in the darkness of his room. The relationship with him and his mother had entered a new phase just before he had set sail for Israel. What he had heard and seen at University of Hamburg, a world so new, so wide, so big, so exciting is what he had wanted so dear in his heart to share with his beloved mother. The universe to understand more and more of what is going on planet earth is what he had wanted to share with his mother only to see her reaction. She thought he had wanted to set himself above her and make her think not knowing much means she would be seen by him as a useless person. While in fact he only wanted to share with her his happiness to know and know and know more and more, the world outside their family home, their past, the corners the family were going round and round. His heart, his soul his mind was filled with the wide, wide world of wisdom, with people that had gone before him to see, to hear, to feel and to understand what the world is or could possibly be. The chain of simple-minded family members, that he what he had in mind to break. And his mother had saddened his heart by her claims that had not been true in his mind. Months had passed before he had developed a new relationship with his mother, one to love her as he did always and to know there other world of wide, wide universe was separated from her shared only with other people that would move him ahead in life. To get used to talking to his mother on a low level of life had only been bearable for few hours once a month as these simple conversations had no longer been of his interest in life. "You are free to decide your future, your life for yourself and I will back all your decisions as I have complete trust in you!" was Heinz Wohlfarth hearing his mother saying again before he fell asleep like a little child when his mother had used to tell fairytales at nights.

Early Saturday morning Heinz Wohlfarth and George Fähnrich set off for their next destination. For weeks they had heard about the rocket attacks on Kirijat Shmona, a city in the north of Israel not far from Syria and Lebanon. The papers were full of reports of casualties, of blood and scattered glass, of houses destroyed by the impact of the rockets. They wanted to see with their own eyes what had been done to the people of that beautiful city and try to understand, try to feel in their bodies the pain the citizens had to endure. Public buses were not operating on Shabbat as usual therefore they depended entirely on the mercy of car owners to give them a lift, nothing new to them. Nothing new was that they had to wait and stand in the hot sun for over an hour before a car stopped and offered them their ride. In fact, they were lucky as the nice folks in front wanted to visit their family in Kirjat Shmona to see how things are going after the rocket attacks. It was a smooth ride, al were chatting along. Then they passed the outskirts of the city that was so, so clean, flowers and bushes in between the lanes to give the impression not of a road but like sitting in someone`s living room well decorated with the beauty nature has to offer, very pleasant to the eyes. While the road passed like a movie before their eyes, they could see endless stretches of orchards growing apples, kiwis, and oranges. every now and then Eucalyptus trees were to be seen adding another exotic touch to the place. Mount Hermon was standing impressively in the back of the scenery that passed them. They saw a cable car that got tourists up to a mountain top to have a great overview of the valley that they locals called the Valley of Milk and Honey. They are was full of fruits, full of milk, full of everything someone could wish for which reason the area had be honored by this special name that should remind visitors of the Garden of Eden and make them fall in love with the city and its people. Dates hanging down in masses from their trees were still in their orange skin ready to be taken down and turn themselves into the deep brown dates that people around the world loved so much, a sweet and great taste as a side dish going well while having friends as guests.

Houses were built from down to up the mountain squeezing themselves along the hard rock that was covered with low growing plants. These terrace houses were all painted in shining white reflecting the midday sun for eyes to burn. To be accommodated there was a safe place to be compared to the center of the city but hard to get there by car or by foot. Buses would not be able to make it and service the people hanging their lives on a mountain that was benefitting them not only with safety but with a grand view over the Valley of Milk and Honey. The city was surrounded by vineyards growing the most delicious grapes, red and white, anyone could ever wish for. Their taste was not from this world, fresh, full of aroma hiding the taste of cenamon, wood and red fruits along the splendor of oranges as a note in the back not often used for the production of raisons but for grapes as they were and sold right to the market. It was not the city to produce wine, at least not create once. The Airport of Kirjat Shmona was not build for international flights but well equipped for domestic flights with small machines located at the outskirts of the city easily approachable from the air while flying over long patches of orchards with their ripe apples that seemed to be like little red lamps welcoming guests from outside.

The car stopped at the Central Bus Station and Heinz Wohlfarth and George Fähnrich got off waving their hosts good-bye and thanking them for the nice ride with great entertainment. Before standing at the Bus Stop to look around where to go to next they got from their driver the advice to be careful and mindful of where to pass as even the rocket attacks had stopped no one could and should every be too sure that a rocket or bullet might not catch him while walking around thinking nothing bad could ever happen to them. They promised never to forget their warning and saw the car driving off.

As they were hungry, they looked for a Falafel restaurant and did not have to waste much time as one was right behind them. They looked around and into the faces of the guest most of which were locals eating Homus with mixed pickles and olives on separate plates. Pita bread was always on hand in in their hands. As they were chatting along Heinz Wohlfarth could clearly see they were not free, but tension marked their faces. They were discussing the current situation and what best to do to protect personal lives and belongings. A ten-story building next to the restaurant was damaged, the staircase shelled by rockets fired from Syrian territory into Israel. Tenants had problems to get down from the top of the apartment block to the ground floor and street below. With loud alarm and red and blue sirens an Ambulance approached the apartment block. Nurses rushed to the scene and on a stretcher an old woman was carried out with visible marks of the attack two days before. She had refused to be taken to hospital, but their children eventually had convinced her to do what had to be done. Even being in pain she tried to smile and not let the misery she was in overwhelm her too much. She seemed to take life as it comes convinced that she herself would not be the right person to change her fate after all; life would not be entirely in her hands.

Heinz Wohlfarth started to change the subject but still staying in line with what unfolded around them and said: "My greatest wish in life was to become a Kindergartener and later the Principle of a Kindergarten. To make my dream come to pass after school for years of preparation I helped out in Kindergarten around my mother´s apartment where we lived. Even my Math’s teacher asked me one day to help her with her own class students, aged ten, to go with them on their vacation near my hometown. So, I did whatever I thought would guarantee me one golden day to get admitted to the school to become a Kindergartener. When the time had come to apply, I was refused by all Kindergartens in which I had worked for my practical’s that came before going to school and end the training. Without the practical’s I was unable to fulfill my dream. Instead a Human Resource Manager of a Logistic Company advised me to proceed with my academic qualification and head for University instead of working for money right after Secondary School. Two of my classmates, two girls, never ever having volunteered to help in a Kindergarten, they got admitted into Kindergartens for their practical’s. So, my dream was scattered and first lost ground under my feet. I struggled my way up at High School and made it to University where I also passed with flying colours. At first, being new in these two institutions I had dreams of taking my own life finding it unbearable to cope with the demands and the new lifestyle. But I was waking up the fighter in me and overcame the time of depression, finally felt very much at home in these places and was holding my head up high. And now when I look back and think well...I mean when I imagine that I would have become a Kindergartener as much as I had wanted it, desired it, worked for it, prayed for it, all the other talents in me would have never seen the light of the day but buried forever."

"This life is something else," said George Fähnrich and smiled, "you never know what tomorrow will bring but you must always be ready to expect what you never thought of. Only when you are flexible in your mind, yet know yourself as good as even possible, and keep an open mind to see the way that eventually is your way unexpectedly standing right in front of you...than you must take what is given to you, grab it with both hands regardless how crazy, how foolish what stands before you might appear to you. When it comes to you and shoes itself so clearly, do not think at all, do not mind the voices of others, do not listen to the advice good people will give you...just see what is in front of you, let it reflect on your inner voice and eye, overcome fears and doubts, grab what is there in the certain trust the outcome of the unknown soon will turn your life around into the right direction. Simply trust the future based on your instincts. There are many, many dreams and plans we have, but not everything that crosses our mind is for us really. It is for us to know, to understand, to become wise...but what we are supposed to do with our mind and hands might be something completely different...we do not know in that moment when destiny knocks at our door...we better open! Never ever step into a world that is not for you but the wish of others for you...resist of such temptation as it might feel comfortable to you...but over time, in the end, will always proof itself as a wrong way, a life wasted, time lost. Best is someone should not advice others what they should or should not do unless asked for advice and in that case be like a mirror in which the person asking can reflect itself and find the answer the person deserves to get, an answer that is born out of that other person and not out of you on the other side of the table. Everyone should be busy with his own life to move it forward into the right direction heading for its own destiny and not mingle in the affairs of others. A human should be there for other people, no problem, but another person can only live its own life and not the life of another person."

"Why do you look like that...at me?" was Heinz Wohlfarth wondering while cleaning his mouth with a paper napkin. "I know what I am up to in life!"

"You think you know what will happen in your life...but...,"said George Fähnrich and smiled his face covered in wisdom.

"I most certainly know...yes, I am old enough to know and I am matured enough to know and understand my future," wanted Heinz Wohlfarth to clarify and laughed while making sure not to laugh too loud not to disturb people eating at other tables.

"Life is full of surprises...and there is nothing in this world that is called certainty...plan with no shaking and no movement. Everything, until death does depart you from life...anything goes. What is ahead of you...gosh, only God knows...and you can only hope for!" made George Fähnrich his standpoint crystal and unmistaken clear.

"You say, only God knows as he has known us before we were even born...yet most of us...just check and look around you...never reach their destination in the end...but their times stops before they have reached even close," wanted Heinz Wohlfarth to be considered.

"Many people, as we have discussed endless times, simply live and crawl along the low level of life. All that is in their mind is to make it to pension and have a jolly good time in between and then twenty years before they will be ashes and dust. That is all!" smile George Fähnrich while looking out of the window of the restaurant his empty plate before him. He saw the family of the old woman rushed to hospital down in tears. His heart was saddened, his mind asking questions more than his brain was able to cope with. They were hitting him into pain. during the past few weeks, he would never leave the Kibbutz without painkiller in his pockets. He took one, swallowed it with water and felt shortly the relief of his pounding headaches. "When a man begins to think about life and what it is all about, my good friend from Hamburg, headache is the only answer he gets. Too much thinking brings you ahead of space and time, advances you ahead of your comrades, your class-mates...but it is far from a great holiday...I am telling you the truth!"

"But, my best friend from Lübeck," smiled Heinz Wohlfarth refusing the offer to take Paracetamol offered by George Fähnrich, "as we have a brain and life in our body, eating and drinking, having sex and multiply, build a house and die after eighty years with no understanding of life! Are you really sure this is a life worth living...wasting precious time on earth to get moving and moving history?"

"Of course, it is not worth living, my best friend. I for myself cannot imagine not to ask questions and think deep about life´s matters as I want to show myself worth having received the gift of life in the first place," answered George Fähnrich with a relieved expression, no more headache thanks to chemistry. "But this is only for me. I cannot force anyone to start thinking while living...instead of only being here and then gone, can I? And as I cannot do that, and as all these people that do not reflect on life and their situation therein and these people are so, so many...how can I judge them and possible condemn them just to be busy bees and aunts, here and gone for good, no stone left behind? People from all walks of life that start to think and come to understand what life is for them and life at large must always understand as well, they are very lonely people, often misunderstood, often must die before what they have seen and voiced out will be understood with great regrets...but that is life. Life is never fair, but life is in the end, over time, only for the strong-minded people that think and have no problems to voice what they have seen and understand about the issues of life. If you understand today more than yesterday but keep it to yourself, you hide yourself and you are shy...what an impact can your own life make when you are not strong and go out into the world so other people can hear you, few will appreciate your efforts, most will simply condemn you and call you a mad man. That is the price we have to pay for understanding life`s matters...but this is the only price we have to pay as eternity will honour us and keep us in its memory."