What We Have Done With Mothers In Our Enchanted World

Today is Mother's Day. We are grateful to God for keeping our mothers alive. We are also grateful for all the blessings we receive from our mothers. To be a mother is a mixture of pain and blessings. Everyone is born by a woman. Out of man, a woman was made – with God infusing His spirit in her – but every man must come from a woman. This is a dialectic in nature. Mothers can convert what they receive from men into a human being. Mothers are the vanguards against all forms of deviation in our world. I do not define a mother from only the perspective of a married woman with children. I define motherhood from the perspective of any female who provides and nurtures a human being.

Mothers are amazing in ways that demonstrate the role of God, inter alia, as a mother. God is ontologically disembodied being, but He performs the nurturing role of mothers. He is the embodiment of the social functions of a mother. The critical role mothers play in nurturing and protecting the sanctity of the human families cannot be overemphasised.

Sadly, in the Ghanaian context, with a worldview that is constructed around mystical causality, mothers have become casualties. This is to the extent that male-centric society perceives the intuitiveness of mothers as witchcraft. Consequently, mothers have been targeted for attacks for many centuries. The second is that the peculiarity of the genitalia of mothers, focusing on the clitoris, has become the reason for the bastardisation of the mother’s sexual organ. This bastardisation is referred to as female genital mutilation (FGM). Over the past decades, cultures that practice and support FGM have provided all forms of reasons to rationalise the practice. And in our postmodern world, some scholars are divided over what to do with FGM.

As I recollect the overwhelming role of my mother in my life (some of which she reminded me today), I find it very difficult to accept the labelling of older mothers as witches. We have had some misinformed, ill-trained, and self-imposed “pastors” who use all forms of antiques and demonic savviness to label old mothers as witches. They make life unliveable for our mothers. As part of the modus operandi of these “pastors”, which cascades into the bizarre and grotesque forms of exorcism, mothers become the target of their manipulations of the spirit world.

The other challenge facing mothers is construing them to fit the rubric of the contemporary world. Most of us are guilty of not allowing our mothers to grow. Mothers are compelled to live as if they are still very young in their teens. They are forced to apply all forms of chemicals – in the name of makeup – to enhance their beauty. A few years ago, grey hair, wrinkled faces were signals of maturity and wisdom. Sadly, the aesthetic industry, with a skewed definition of beauty as something that lies in the eyes of the beholder, has forced our mothers to pretend they are still young. There is nothing wrong with ageing. It is part of life (even though scientific research is seeking to slow the growing process). There is nothing wrong with developing wrinkles: it is part of life. There is nothing wrong with having grey hair: it is part of life. Just us children must be allowed to grow; our mothers must also be allowed to grow. We should support them in ways that are commensurable to their age.

Over the years, I have painfully heard stories about old mothers who are behaving as if they are in their teens. The most unfortunate was the story of the wife of one of the key charismatic figures in Ghana who says she is refusing to grow because she does not want the female university graduates to snatch her husband away. In response, she wears the so-called G-strings, heaps her breast (which is expected to comfortably rest flat to show maturity), she wears mini-skirt, and she also wears excessive makeup. She dyes her hair. She is doing everything possible to look younger and attractive. As I listened to her, I could see how the illusions of modern aesthetics are enslaving her. I was sad and felt it is unfortunate to see older mothers refusing to be old.

Another unfortunate challenge with our contemporary society is the narrow definition of motherhood. We tend to see motherhood only in biological terms – referring to only women who have their own biological children. This definition brackets the world of motherhood away from most mothers in the world. While it is true that the world has Women’s Day – which is inclusive – we need to broaden the scope of motherhood to include mothers who provide social care to children. In history, we read of many mothers who dedicated their lives to nurturing other people’s children. The failure to broaden the scope of motherhood creates unnecessary tension in our society. Many “mothers” are forced to resort to all mean possible – including stealing babies – to be regarded as mothers.

In many Ghanaian cultures, it is a taboo for a woman to remain childless. Childlessness is sometimes considered one of the consequences of ancestral curses. In response, some of the pastors of the neo-Pentecostal Christianity subject women to all forms of spiritual manipulations. Some mothers are losing their marriages. Others are forced to submit to all forms of pains, because they remain childless. Some men also add to the burden of these mothers by marrying other women and, besides, keeping "gardens" (side-chicks). Sadly, some so-called pastors who are promoting polygyny to add to the burdens of these mothers. Certainly, it is good to have biological children, but the Lord has plans for every mother. If a mother remains biologically childless, she can socially mother many children. There are thousands of children without their biological mothers. Such children can be mothered by other mothers.

The last I will talk about is the practice of men having extra-wives and conjugal girlfriends to shame and cow their wives into submission. Our culture is gradually becoming anti-mothers. Most men have devised all forms of ill-fated strategies to compel women to kowtow to their (men's) manipulations. I have heard some pastors advocating polygyny as ways of cowing women into submission to sometimes abusive husbands. This is against the background that instead of exploring creative ways of resolving marital disputes, some pastors become front-liners in their atavism for multiple marriages.

On this occasion, I want to salute all mothers – including social mothers – for the important roles they play in shaping society. They are the first mothers of every child. May God bless our mothers. I want to thank my mothers Agartha Adjei, Josephine Tweneboaa Afrifa, and Elizabeth Scale (Addai). I also salute Comfort Peprah, who has nurtured two doctoral mothers – Dr Gladys Ansah and Dr Patricia Serwaa Afrifa. I thank my supervisor, Dr Joel Cabrita, who has patiently teaching me how to write.

To all mothers, I say God bless you. May you enjoy the fruit of your labour on earth and the hereafter!

Satyagraha
Charles Prempeh ([email protected]), African University College of Communications, Accra