One of the most important ingredients of a happy relationship is harmony. Either partner is expected to play roles based on divine order so that they can build each other up.
To achieve harmony, the man must be the leader and the woman must submit. There can be no exception to this rule.
Why must a woman submit?
In every relationship, there must be a leader to plan, organise, control and monitor its activities. Leadership is cause, everything else is effect. A man is born to be a leader.
He thrives on his role as head and identifies himself by his competency, efficiency and power. He gets great emotional fulfilment as he solves problems.
No man takes less than leadership, no matter his age, academic background and religion. Since there can be no two leaders in a relationship, a woman has to submit.
Practical ways to submit
A man will go to great lengths to protect his dominance. Anything less breaks down his ego. A man without his ego is a living dead.
A woman must make her opinions known to her man and as far as possible reach mutual decisions, but if there are differences in opinion, she must leave the final decision to the man.
If you accept your man’s decisions, you get all his loving. A woman must, however, not submit if the decision is sinful or violates her human rights. Even then, she must correct him, without putting him down.
A woman must also avoid running a home because she is richer, older or more popular.
Avoid controlling your man or mothering him because you may destroy his motivation and make him turn his attention away from you. Allow him to make mistakes. If you feel he is wrong, negotiate but do not criticise or nag. Never compete with your man.
Respect is the greatest need of a man. Give all the respect you can to your partner, but don’t treat him like a father or act like a little girl to get what you need. Communicate what you need with respect and avoid making demands.
A man has great emotional fulfilment helping a woman. Your man will, therefore, be happy to help if you approach him with respect, in the right way and at the right time.
In our Ghanaian tradition, you don’t marry one person but a whole extended family. A woman must extend respect for her man to all her in-laws and his friends. Your behaviour towards them impacts on the health of your relationship.
One simple way to melt a man’s heart is to show him you need him and that you are dependent on him.
A man feels good to be in charge. If you let your man know that you appreciate what he does, he gives you more loving. On the other hand, if you are assertive, boastful and nagging, you threaten your man’s self esteem.
A woman must, therefore, constantly open up to her man’s help and regularly ask him to do things which are within his competency. This means you never boast of your self-sufficiency.
If you claim you don’t need your man, you damage his competency and ego. Your romance will die with your indifference, neglect and authority. Allow your man to provide to the extent which is possible and show appreciation.
Your man wants to take credit for your happiness because it is a signal to him that he is loved. On the other hand, if you are not happy, he feels like a failure.
He avoids you and tries to work harder. If you let your man know he is great, he is motivated to do more for you.
Respect your man’s privacy. No matter how much he loves you, he will occasionally withdraw to nurture his uniqueness.
Don’t demand answers because he will not talk till he has solutions. The more you chase him, the further he goes. Have a good sense of timing.
The simple rule
If you want your man’s love, don’t look outside you. If you submit to him, you show that you love him and get more than you ask for because you put him on a never-ending path to make you happy. You get a diplomatic passport to the paradise in his heart. The baseline in submission is to let your man win. Always remember that submission generates your man’s love; submission generates love. Without it, there is no love.
By John Boakye