How to keep the spark alive after years of marriage

Marriages are meant to last a lifetime, so it's natural when there are downs to balance the ups. But how do you manage to hold onto the excitement after so long? In this article, Beauty and Tips takes a look at how to keep the spark live after ten years or more of marriage.

Relationships start off with a bang. They're like a firework that explodes in the sky. It's beautiful, fun and things are going so well! But it's nigh on impossible to keep that fizz going. Eventually, a relationship will lose some of its momentum as real life gets in the way. And it's at this point when a couple really finds out if their relationship has staying power.

With short-term relationships, it's pretty easy to throw in the towel when things get boring. You can both walk away and get on with your lives. Maybe you'll be back on the dating scene within a week. But when it comes to marriage, you've exchanged vows and invested so much that you don't want to give it all up lightly. You're determined to make this work. But how on earth do you keep the spark alive after ten or more years of marriage? Join Beauty and Tips as we find out.

Have A Date Night At Least Once A Week
Call it Date Night or call it Alone Time – call it whatever you want. The name is not important. What's more important is that you guys spend at LEAST one night together each week. If you have kids, one night is probably the most you can do. But it's so incredibly important for the health of your relationship that you make the time for this one night. Hire a babysitter for the night, ask a friend to look after your kids/pets, and get the heck outdoors. Go for a meal, go to the theatre, go to see a band.

Structured, rigid routine can kill marriages off. If you know you're always going to be coming home to the same thing, week in week out, it's going to sap your spirits and put out the fire of your marriage. So a great tip on how to keep the spark alive is to make time to do something different each week, but DON'T pick the same day all the time. Be spontaneous!

Put Quality Before Quantity
When our husbands have only made love to us once this week, it can be tempting to feel down about it. Some women find it hard to feel wanted unless their husband makes love to them often. But it's less important that you count how many times you do stuff together, and much more important that the times you do do stuff together is so wonderful. Being intimate with each other is pointless if there is no feeling of love. Instead of focusing on the numbers, focus on the exciting, different ways you can do things together.

Spoil Each Other
After ten years or more of marriage, you might have forgotten what it's like to spoil your partner, and to be spoiled. Moreover, if you have children, you might be spoiling them silly but not each other. Of course, there is nothing wrong with spoiling our kids. But it's important that you don't forget to spoil your partner, too. Indeed, one of the best tips on how to keep the spark alive after ten years of marriage – and even if you do have kids – is to put your partner FIRST. They deserve it. If you don't, you will find that your marriage weakens. Don't neglect your partner. Spoil them something crazy. Make sure they know you still want them.

Switch Back To Wife Mode
During the early days of a relationship, girls very much play the role of devoted girlfriend. We'll do anything for our mean to please them and keep them happy. However, a few years into marriage can change all of this. We enter different modes and start playing different roles. We enter work mode, nagging mode and even mom mode. But what about wife mode?

Another good tip on how to keep the spark alive is to remember to revert to wife mode as often as possible. Do things for your husband that are becoming of a wife. Run his bath for him (and get in it), please him in the bedroom, and cook him awesome meals. You don't have to become a domesticated housewife, but it's crucial that you don't forget the exciting role that wives should play.

Forgive And Move On
You know what really puts the spark out? A grudge. A big fat grudge. Okay, so he did something wrong five years ago. But do you have to keep bringing it up? If you can't forgive, forget and move on, there will be no more fireworks in this marriage and you may as well call it a day now. Harsh words – but true ones.

Heal quickly, learn from your mistakes and carry on having a great life together. Couples who forgive are those who stay positive and happy.

Flirt!
For some reason or another, so many of us seem to forget that we can still flirt after ten years of marriage. And why shouldn't we? Is flirting just for single people, or anyone who is just starting a new relationship? Should it only be for young people looking for some fun? Absolutely not! Anyone can – and should – be flirting. And if you want to keep the spark alive, it's important that you remember to get your flirt on! Flirt like mad. Send him raunchy texts when you know he's at work. Tell him what you'll be doing to him tonight once he gets home from the ball game. Tell him that you're in the lingerie store and are about to buy something he'll love.

Role Play
Following on from the last one, an easy way to keep the spark alive is to role play and act out your fantasies. Hey, it's a lot better than returning home and doing the same things all the time, right? Try different characters, act our stories and scenarios. It's fun and exciting.

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Beauty and Tips