Stop Using Sex as a Weapon..

08.07.2009 LISTEN
By Jimmy Clifford Nii Nettey

Sex is one of the greatest gifts given to humankind, however it is often used in ways that can hurt and destroy a relationship, rather than create intimacy. When sex is used as a weapon, both parties of the relationship suffer. Both men and women can equally abuse sex and use it as a weapon against their partner. Women might be more likely to withhold sex when angry, frustrated, or disappointed while men are more likely to use sex as a way to resolve conflicts and issues. Pressuring a woman to have sex when she isn't consensual is just as damaging as a woman withholding sex to manipulate her partner. Understanding how recognize the signs of using sex as a form of control can help both partners make certain that they treat their sexual intimacy with respect and the reverence that it deserves.

One of the greatest mistakes that a woman can make in her relationship is withholding sex as a form of control. When women expect their partners to be faithful to them, they must understand that they are the ones who their partner is going to find sexual fulfillment with. By withholding sex, you are not engaging in warfare and winning a battle, you are actually creating a scenario where your partner will begin to resent you and begin looking for a new, better relationship. Withholding sex to gain an advantage in a relationship never works, and the results are always the same; it will ultimately destroy the relationship.

What is important to understand is that if a woman is emotionally upset or angry, she will not be in the mood for sex. Where many men will want to ultimately resolve a conflict through sex, a woman would rather resolve the argument through talking and cuddling. However, once she has received ample communication and feels secure in the relationship again, she will be ready for sex. The key is to recognize that when problems arise, they must be solved in a manner that doesn't involve sex. Men shouldn't expect to resolve the issue through sex and women should refrain from the attitude that she won't give any sex because of the conflict. The focus should be on communication and resolving the problem in a mature manner. Once the couple begins to discuss the underlying issues and work at a solution, they can then pick up with their intimacy. Sex then becomes a true act of deeper intimacy and not a weapon or a temporary cure to cover the problem.

I'm sure you've heard of makeup sex, and make up sex is a great thing. However, it must be used correctly. Make up sex should never take the place of openly talking about, and solving conflicts and problems. It should arise after the problem has been resolved and the couple is feeling genuine feelings of love and intimacy for one another. If a woman feels that she is being pressured into sex while her emotional needs aren't being met, she will feel as if sex is being used as a weapon against her. Likewise, when women feel angry or emotionally dissatisfied they will shut their partner's off and withhold sex from them. Communication, love, and respect are key to preventing sex from becoming a weapon in any relationship.

Have you ever used sex as a tool?I know i have why not tell us how you used sex as a tool?.....

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