With the Christmas euphoria fading and January running deeper and deeper, the New Year is becoming old and the old things we previous dropped on our New Year resolutions are gradually finding their ways back into our lives.
To me, that’s’ not bad, it is just who you are and it will be so funny if you sacrifice yourself in the name of New Year resolution. How can a born talkative decide not to talk again? The gossip title holders decides not to tall her favourite tales? It is not possible. The talkative should better be talking about a different thing while the gossip queen could take a bold step and put her collections in a book. Yes she should write a book about everything she knows.
Today, I want to ask why most sisters settle for the worst in marriage and in relationships. Maybe I will not really find the right reasons, but I will get to see the right damages it is causing and why this trend should stop or cut down at least.
Ladies are the most impatient of all sexes, especially in Africa. They want to believe that opportunity comes but ones or should I say engagement ring comes but ones.
Even when marriage can also be far from this, there are people you see and you instantly wonder how they cope. In such cases, there is always someone who endures and someone who doesn’t care. The ladies endure and the guys don’t mostly care.
He is the ’boss’ type and all he cares about is a loyal subject, whom he can beat at times but will still have her shutting up and saying “I still love him”. My sister, you are in a relationship, not in a kitchen where they slice onions every day. Get out before you die because you deserve better.
Most ladies are often affected by what people say than what they think out in their minds. They want to hide on the guise of “I don’t want people to say I have dated too many men” and this is really funny.
It is called dating and not gluing. When you realize he is not the right person for you, press the red button and go your way or have you forgotten that the same people will talk about your sufferings in the relationship? If you are one person sleeping on such bed, wake up, it is time to move. Give the talkers a breakup story today and another hookup story that will be close to that of Romeo and Juliet.
Fear is the mother of most reasons ladies fall into the hands of the wrong men. “He might hurt himself if I leave him”, “He might find me and hurt me”, “He is a ruff guy and threatens me that he will kill me and any guy I hang out with” and so on.
What you are fearing today are simply the things you will end up wishing you never feared. This thought might be coming up 12 years later when you must have had children for him. Do it now that no one would regretting the money he spent on you wedding ceremony.
I don’t still think there is any reason for you to be afraid of telling a guy that you are not okay with the way you are being treated. You must not wait till you shrink out of dehydration because you cry every now and then. Always remember that if you die in it, there won’t be anything to fear again. Just wake up and handle it now.
Why some get high recommendations on you or the other way round, you try so hard not to disappoint them. So many ladies have died because they don’t want to disappoint their fathers, mothers, uncles and even priests who recommended them for a guy.
The usual statement is that “he is a nice guy from a good family, the rest is on you to make it work”. Don’t ever forget that if you die in it, they would be wishing you spoke out.
No body’s heart is more important than yours and no one deserves all the happiness in the world more than you. So grab it and forget who gets disappointed because you deserve to have a healthy emotional life.
And then what?
You deserve to be happy and that’s the summary. You will never have the right person in your life if you don’t let go all the wrong people you pile up in it. Wrong can never be right and no matter how much we chant ‘one man’s food is another man’s poison, no one will ever eat poison and still stand.
So dear sisters, it will be good if we start this early in 2016 to sort things out in our relationships. Know if you really belong there and for ones, ask yourself if you are ready to go on with the tears and pains you are dealing with every day.
I wish you all the best this year. Let the right person be right for you.
Chinedu Hardy Nwadike,
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