- Bisi Adewale
Many Ladies are known to base their marital decisions on things that will not endure a life-time. These have led many of them into wrong marriages and life time bondage. We need to identify and deal with them:
1) HEIGHT : Every girl's dream is to marry a tall, dark guy with a baritone voice, I wonder where they got the idea that tall guys are better in marriage. Hey Girls, tall guy can give you tall problems; it is not the height that matters but the depth of the guy in God and in character.
2) MUSCLE: Muscular and heavy looking guys are also lucky, they are seen to be good suitors, and girls do say “they look manly” “they look like real men”. Sorry Girls, muscles do not make a real man, character and ability to shoulder responsibility do. A guy with muscle without character will use his muscles to deal with you and batter your beautiful face.
3) A WELL SET HOUSE : A guy with a well set house is the dream of any girl any day. Many girls will throw caution into the wind to grab a man who have a house with King size; beautiful Italian Settee, micro wave oven, well stock freezer, home theater, refrigerator, gas cooker, Plasma TV,6 by 6 bed, well stuff Kitchen, Dining table, washing machine, dish washers, split unit air conditioner etc is a dream catch for girls any day. Sorry girl, a well set house is good but it may be a well set trouble if the guy is not a man of character, manners or discretion, he will make the house look like a prison yard for you.
4) FAT BANK ACCOUNT : Girls are fond of trying to know how rich a guy is by checking the guy's phones for bank alerts. They joyfully decide to marry a guy when they discover the guy is very rich with fat Bank balance. What a mistake? They don't want to know where the money is coming from; they don't even want to know what the guy does for a living. What concerns them is the money that is available to be spent. Many girls ended up finding themselves entangled for life in this kind of situation, don't base your marriage on GREED, it won't turn to GREEN.
5) PLACE OF WORK : Some of our girls are in the habit of making marital decision base on the place a guy works. You dare not talk of marriage to them if you are a Teacher or civil servant. You dare not propose them if you are working with a small firm, or one man business. What an error? Girls note that, that a guy works in ACCESS BANK does not mean he will give you ACCESS to his heart or peace of mind. A guy that works in SHELL may put your life in a SHELL forever, you may not be the FIRST in the life of a guy that works in FIRST BANK, a guy that work in GUARANTEE TRUST BANK may not GUARANTEE your future. He may be working in NESTLE but not SETTLE you at home, So it is not about where he is working but about who is working in Him, God or devil.
6) ROMANCE: A young lady said, “The guy is romantic, hot and sexy, i will marry him” Stop girl!!!!, Romance is not enough for marriage. The truth is, most so called romantic guys don't remain like that after wedding. Marry a guy base on qualities that will endure, romance don't last forever, go and ask married women.
7) TYPE OF CAR : A whole lots of girls will be enticed by a guy driving a big and expensive car. Some will not even go out with a guy that does not have a car. If you want to mess yourself as a guy, ride on a bike to go and propose to a lady, you will hear the story of your life. Ladies, a guy that has a CAR may not CARE for you, life is not about CAR, it is about marrying somebody that will CARE for your future.
AND : Most girls will readily marry anybody with US or UK passports, Lots of girls have destroyed their lives in the process of looking for somebody with a foreign passport to marry.
9) HIS PERFORMANCE IN THE CHOIR : It is funny that some ladies are ready to get marry to some guys because they are very good in the choir, they can play Sax, keyboard, drums, trumpet and sing tenor and Bass very well, I wonder whether they want to start a choir band in their houses.
10) RICH PARENT : Children of Rich parents are easy target for many young girls not because they are in love with them, but they know they will have access to money and connection. Many of these guys come from rich are pompous, cocky, proud and will be terrible and irresponsible husbands and fathers tomorrow but girls will not care about that, Most of these girls do live to regret their wrong decision.
Don't marry anybody just because the parents are rich, marry the person for who he is and the love you share together.
11) FELLOWSHIP LEADERSHIP : Many Christian ladies are ready to die to marry brothers that are in the executives of their Campus fellowship. They fight tooth and nail to get the attention of these brothers, some even go to the extent of offering their bodies. Many of these ladies do think that the best of all men are in the executives of the Campus fellowship, they've forgotten that A PRESIDENT OF THE FELLOWSHIP MAY NOT BE A RESIDENT OF HEAVEN.
12) BEDROOM EXPERTISE : One of the most stupid way to make a decision who to marry as a lady is to base it on how good, sexy or terrific a Guy is, in the bedroom. If you base your marital decision on a man's sexual prowess; you may end up with a play boy instead of a Husband. You may end up getting marry to a sex hunter, instead of a real lover, a universal sperm donor who will sleep with your sister, house maid, friends, girls in the neighborhood, his secretary and anything in skirt that cross his paths. DON'T GO FOR SEX GO FOR SENSE.