E very mom and dad I know wants to know if they are doing this parenting thing right. After I wrote 7 Ways to Know You Are Being a Good Dad , I thought it would be important to also give moms their due. So, for today's blog, I asked my wife, Susan , to share with you 7 ways to know you are being a good mom.
How do you know if you are a good mom? That is a question every mom wonders and may have difficulty answering because a mom can see the flaws in her own parenting. Knowing you are a good mom is probably simpler than we make it out to be. At a basic level, you are a good mom if your child knows that you love them. The simple manifestations of being a loving mom are the simple gestures you receive in return from your child. So here are some key actions to look for in your relationship with your kids—7 ways to know you are being a good mom:
1. When they share their fears and dreams with you. We all need someone to confide in—your child is no exception. So when they choose to turn to you rather than a friend or sibling, then you can know that you're doing something right. Because ultimately, a confidant is one of the 5 Things Your Child Needs You to Be .
2. When they randomly phone or sit on your lap. Children have different ways of relating to their moms depending on their age. A younger child may express themselves by climbing up into your lap or holding your hand. An older teen or young adult may call you from college or send you a quick text to let you know how they're doing. It's all about how comfortable your kids are with you that shows they know how much you love them.
3. When they ask to do something or go somewhere with you alone. Our kids crave affirmation. They crave acceptance. And they crave attention. So having your child ask to spend one-on-one time with you means they are looking to you for that affirmation, acceptance, and attention. A sure sign of a great mom is when her kids know they can turn to her for encouragement. If this is lacking in your relationship with your child, learn How to Spend More One-on-One Time with Your Children .
4. When they melt down with you because you are the only one they know they can melt down with. Let's face it, there are going to be days in our kids' lives when the drama, the classes, and the broken relationships will become overwhelming. One way to know you're doing a great job as a mom is if your kids are choosing to be vulnerable and share their difficulties with you. Be a source of comfort to your children so they know that they will never be too old to be held and cared for by their mom.
5. When they come home from camp or college and beg you to make their favorite meal. This is an easy one. You'll have assurance that you're doing something right as a mom if your kids miss you and the things you do for them. When your older teens come home with a bag of laundry and a request for their favorite home cooked meal, it's the best feeling in the world! It shows your kids have learned that there are some things only mom can do best.
6. When they make a mistake, their pride has been hurt, and they come to you to cry. Life is full of big losses and letdowns. And part of being a good mom means not expecting perfection from your kids. Instead of being someone who will constantly lecture and be disappointed, be the mom who always has open arms for their imperfect child.
7. When you see them living out lessons that you spent years teaching. The most special thing a parent can witness is their child facing life with the wisdom and integrity that they've been taught and shown growing up. As Mark mentioned in his blog, 10 Ways Your Kids Are Watching You , one of a parent's main roles is acting as a role model for their children. You know you've parented well when your kids have taken your lessons to heart and have accepted them as the best way to live and love.
If any one of the above have occurred in the last month, consider yourself a good mom! Take a moment tonight and ask your children how they know that you love them.