Are you comfortable enough to talk with your teen daughter about sex? ( iStock photo )
It makes you want to go back to simpler times. The only thing to worry about was her tripping and falling. Those were the days when your little girl sat in your lap and you could make everything better with a kiss. Now you are on the other side of braces. She has blossomed into her teens and boys have come into the picture. She enters the world of dating and your trepidation is palpable.
She is blissfully unaware of what you know well. You know how teenage boys think and feel. You know the emotional entanglement that dating brings particularly when things get physical. A young girl's heart is like a spider web; the more intimate they get, the more of his hand is on it. Teenagers don't have the life experience to know the deep impact of their actions. When he moves on, he pulls his hand off the web leaving it in tatters. Sadly, she may even think of herself as ruined.
The following seven factors increase the likelihood of your daughter being sexually active at a younger age. Knowing these and taking action will help lessen the chance of your daughter engaging in sexual activity in her teen years.
Alcohol Consumption. Drinking causes teens to misunderstand emotions, which clogs clear decision making. Increasing the danger is that getting drunk happens quicker for girls because of their smaller bodies.
A Strict Home. You have to let go. Your rules are not going to stop her from making bad decisions. The tighter you try to make your grip, the more she's going to slip through your fingers. More and more secrets will be kept. The focus needs to be trust and consequences. Example: Not letting her borrow your car because you don't trust her is a consequence to irresponsible behavior . Have this talk with her now.
Feeling Disconnected from You. Cultivate your relationship with her. Spend as much time with her as you can. Ask her out on dates—mid-week has a higher chance of acceptance. Show her genuine care, interest, and affection. Never stop pursuing.
Divorce. If you are divorced or contemplating divorce, you need to know this reality. There is no judgment here and it doesn't mean that the situation is hopeless. It just means that you need to be all the more proactive in the other areas of this list, particularly your connection. Work with your ex-wife as best you can.
No Clear and Effective Communication of Disapproval of Sex Outside of Marriage. Talk to her about sex. I know it's awkward and she will be uncomfortable. Have your talking points ready, but be as natural as you can be. Talk about the physical risks, but focus on the emotional ones more. Keep it honest and real, but no browbeating. Don't give one big talk and assume that's it. Think of it as a running dialogue.
Peer Pressure. They will want to do what their friends are doing. Get to know their friends the best you can. Don't turn a blind eye to the crowd they are rolling in. Ask inquiring questions. A strong sense of identity and bond with your family's core values will help counter peer pressure.
Sexual Abuse. As a result, many times young girls' values are wrongly tied to their sexuality. Your daughter needs a lot of care and professional counseling. If it hasn't been done, you need to contact the authorities and confront the perpetrator. Let her see the full weight of your protection.
Huddle up with your wife tonight and talk about how to discuss sex with your kids.
All Pro Dad is Family First's innovative and unique program for every father. Their aim is to interlock the hearts of the fathers with their children and, as a byproduct, the hearts of the children with their dads. At AllProDad.com , dads in any stage of fatherhood can find helpful resources to aid in their parenting. Resources include daily emails, blogs, Top 10 lists, articles, printable tools, videos and eBooks. From AllProDad.com, fathers can join the highly engaged All Pro Dad social media communities on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Instagram.