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20.03.2013 Touch Of Thoughts

Stubbornness: Are You Stubborn?

By Nicholas Ameyaw-Akumfi
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I talk to people, sometimes. Every now and again even to a girl. Discussions that happen as a result sometimes make me think about stuff and ponder about matters. One of those matters is stubborness.

On numerous occasions I have heard people describing themselves as stubborn.

"I am stubborn about this"
"I can be very stubborn about that"
"I am stubborn, period"
and so on. More often I have heard that from girls than from boys. Boys don't seem to be stubborn as much, or at least they don't like to advertise it.

What bothers me is I think I have never fully understood what that actually means. What is stubborness? Is that a character trait or is it something else?

Elaboration:
I don't think of myself as stubborn. I would never really say I am. In my mind there are two possible states, one is I am correct about something, the other is I am not correct about something. If a disscusion ensues, and my points of view are not in agreement with someone's elses I will stand by my point of view until I am sensibly proven I am at a false. If my points of view are not debunked I will continue to hold my points of view until that happens. If they are then I will change them.

I can't see where stubborness takes place in all of that in general. If a person doesn't change his mind when proven wrong that doesn't mean he is stubborn, it means he is just stupid. If a person doesn't change his mind when he is proven right, he is still not stubborn, he is just being sensible.

Also, it is not neccessary to be proven right to hold on to your points of view/ behaviour. It is enough if the opposing point of view is not sensibly proven right. There is no reason to change any behaviour in those cases.

To summarize:
A person holds his ground when proven right - common sense

A person holds his ground when opposing point of view is not proven right - common sense

A person holds his ground when proven wrong - stupidity

I am deliberately ommiting the third option in this equation, of not being sure. Since if a person is not sure about something he will not have any ground to hold onto anyway so that state is irrelevant.

Stop priding yourself with this attributes of being stubborn.

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