How to behave with your spouse in public after reconciliation

17.10.2012 LISTEN

Every relationship has its ups and downs, with the downs often resulting in some form of argument or big, blow-up fight. Once the dust has settled and a reconciliation has been made, however, it may feel a bit uncomfortable to act lovey-dovey with your spouse in public.

To avoid this awkwardness, try not to have any discussions regarding the blow-up in public. If issues arise that still need to be discussed, wait until you are behind closed doors to air them.

Treat your mate with respect
Don't give her the cold shoulder or talk to her like a child. Belittling her intelligence or behavior in public, even if you're just joking, will do more harm than good to your relationship. Put your differences aside and show her love and support instead. Instead, talk about her great accomplishment at work or how she baked a mean casserole last night. Showing each other some affection as well may help you see how little the disagreement really means.

Don't fight in public
Even if your spouse is doing everything in his power to aggravate the heck out of you, remain calm; it may be his immature way of handling his emotions. Not only will having a fight in public single you two out of a crowd, it will also cause those who are with you, like such as your kids, other family members or friends, to feel extremely uncomfortable. Wait until you get home to discuss any problems. Also, when later having your discussion, try to focus your discussion on key issues rather than the way he was acting.

Establish rules
If a main issue has yet to be resolved, set some rules that bar the discussion of the issue while out in public. This rule should also ban talking about the problem with friends and family as well. Your friends and family naturally view your spouse differently than you do, and what they consider to be helpful advice may further aggravate the situation or cause you to see a problem that you didn't realize beforehand, which may lead to a fight with your spouse later on.

Spend time apart
As the old adage goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Let her hang out with her friends while you catch up with your buddies. Talk about anything else other than each other's spouses and how they drive you crazy. If necessary, head somewhere where talking is not that easy to do, like a jazz club or a bowling alley, and try to have a good time. The time apart will help you cool down, which may help improve your communication with your spouse when you return home.

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