Blow the trumpet of his achievements. Watch out for his empty cup moments and refill. Men have down moments in their lives when they are just tired or weak. Sometimes, a man feels lonely or exasperated and he feels like he is nothing. Be the one to fill his emotional cup. Although, it is true that there are some men that you pour back into their cup but when they come back, they abandon you. That should not deter you. It only gives you a reason to watch your choice of head called Husband even before marriage. If you are not married yet, be careful how much you fill a man's cup because some later get strong. Then, they see that you are not their class.
Praise him profusely for making efforts at self improvement towards your marriage. Maybe, you come home one day and discover that he has cleaned the house. Make so much noise about it “Darling, today I am going to cook your favourite food. You mean you cleaned the house? Halleluiah!.” He will appreciate your feedback, your appreciation.
Encourage him to succeed without pushing him to prove anything or perform. Many women just nag. “I am not the man-o!. Look at A. Look at B” At a point, the man gets tired of your comparisons. This attitude led one woman to get an evangelist to pray for her husband over one deaf ear. The evangelist prayed and prayed. The man was not healed of the deaf ear and the following conversation ensued:
Evangelist: Why are you still not healed of this deaf ear?
Man: All the time you have been praying, I turned the ear that is okay towards you
Evangelist: Don't you want to be healed?
Man: My wife nags. So, when she starts nagging, I just turn the deaf one to her
As a wife, learn to build the man. Find a loving way to tell him to shave the forest and clean up his face. Be there to help him to keep his focus. Sometimes, men can be distracted. Stop counting his mistakes. Start treating him as a miracle. Your husband is a miracle. Stand by your man. Don't say “Well, I finally got what I wanted. We are married. We are Christians. He can't divorce me. I have the ring. So, there is nothing he can do”. Don't treat that prince of God like junk; like he doesn't matter. Don't hurt his spirit. Give the man what he wants. Give him honour. Respect your husband. Make him feel truly that God called him to lead the home. Look! A man cannot really lead if his wife is not willing to follow. If you are a difficult wife, you make the home impossible. Don't push your husband to the point where he says “Okay, I have to just do what she wants.” That is not a home.
May your home be a miracle, a testimony and a blessing in Jesus name! Amen.
Deacon ALBINUS CHIEDU
Coordinator, MARRIAGE CAN WORK PROJECT
...TO BE CONTINUED (Questions Are Welcome)