Getting Along With Your Step-Parents

If you have a problem it is better to discuss with your step-parent. Don't keep it to yourself.

Don't be afraid to let your mum or dad know that you miss spending time with him or her alone. It's also a good idea to have a family meeting to thrash any problems out. Maybe your stepmother can come up with a schedule for sharing the TV. Better still, the family can do something other than watch TV, such as play a game together.

But if you just can't seem to get along with your step-parent, no matter what, it's time for a major heart-to-heart with your parent and maybe your step-parent too.

When you're mad, it can be tempting to scream, 'I can't stand her!' or 'He's ruining my life!'

But this will only hurt your step-parent's feelings and will not make anything better. Instead, explain why you're upset with your step-parent. Be specific about what the problems are and why you feel so angry.

You may even go to a close relative. Sometimes someone who doesn't live with you and knows how families work can help figure out how you can all get along.

One Big Happy Family
When you're still getting used to a new step-parent, it may seem as though things will never be OK. It takes a while to get comfortable with someone and it also takes patience and lots of talking.

You may surprise yourself when you realise one day that you can't imagine your life without your stepfather or stepmother any longer. He or she is the only one who understands what's so funny about the joke that everyone else thinks is dumb, and he or she makes the best meals!

It's also important to understand that when you do get along with your step-parent, it does not mean you care less for your parents, especially a parent you may no longer live with most of the time.

A caring stepmother understands that you still love your mother and enjoy spending time with her. She will also understand how much you still love your mother, even if she is dead. Families are about love and understanding, not about competing with one another.

The more good you can find in your step-parent and your situation, the closer you'll become. And the entire family will be a whole lot happier, especially you.