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What does your guy's sex style say about him?

15.04.2011 LISTEN
By ivillage.com

Some guys are shy, some are forward and they all like something a little different between the sheets. Tapping into your man's unique “sex style” can take sex from nice to something he'll be blushing about for weeks. Tammy Nelson, psychotherapist and author of Getting the Sex You Want: Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together shares some of the most common types, while Los Angeles-based sex therapist Christine Milrod advises on how to please each one.

The transcendent style
Always searching for that existential moment, he wants his partner to take him to another plane of consciousness. This guy doesn't just want sex, he wants it to have him. Sound like a tall order? If you can fill it, he'll reward you with eye-gazing, an introduction to tantric sex, synchronized breathing and loads of groovy spiritual energy.

Expert sex tip: Try this tantric trick: Put his penis in your vagina and then lay perfectly still. “This way you get into it very slowly and you can focus on the feeling,” says Nelson. “Or what I call the MSC -- maximum skin contact.”

The super-intimate style
No intimacy issues here -- emotions for men with this style are a turn-on. This guy needs to be emotionally focused during sex in order to have a fully satisfying erotic experience. He prioritizes satisfying his partner, and likes to cuddle afterwards, to boot.

Expert sex tip: Cowgirl -- you should be on top, and in charge. “Then, you can collapse on his post-orgasmic body and cuddle him, ” says Nelson.

Porn star style
Every guy would like to have this style, but only a few actively try to pull it off. Nothing turns him on more than thinking that he can act out all the fantasy moves that porn stars can do.

Expert sex tip: Make him feel as though he's got an audience -- allow him to ejaculate on your stomach or give you a “pearl necklace.” He likes to see all the fruits of his labor… on you. You can go the extra mile and “totally shave your kitty,” says Milrod, or taking it all off down there. And if you're willing to take advantage of sexy time, try anal sex, she adds.

The cerebral style
This man is in his head before, during and sometimes after sex. He fantasizes about other women, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want you, his real-life partner. The key with this brainy type is to relax his mind and let his imagination stimulate arousal.

Expert sex tip: “Massage him with oils, give him a head massage,” says Milrod. “Throw him in the bathtub, and get in with him. The more they stay wound up and in their heads, they more they won't want to have sex.”

The auditory style
He likes to hear your fantasies spoken out load, but the sounds don't have to be verbal. This man loves the sounds of sex: the moans, the sighs, the whispers and shouts.

Expert sex tip: Make up a story where two people don't know each other,” says Milrod. “And let your imagination run wild.” With X-rated scenarios, of course.

The anxious style
Repression, anyone? There's baggage here, and it can keep the anxious man from jumping into sex headfirst. Maybe someone hurt him in the past or he's just got low self-esteem? If so, it may be hard for him to act out on his fantasies and let go.

Expert sex tip: So get in bed with your PJs on, says Milrod. Cuddle and tell yourself you're not going to be naughty, then get into a place where you're tender and relaxed and can feel each other up.

The reciprocal style
Give him what he needs and return the favor in spades, but he's keeping score all the while. This guy wants sex that is fair.

Expert sex tip: “The obvious choice is to 69,” says Nelson. “That's what equal opportunists do.”

The experimental style
He likes new things, new ideas, and he reads up on new positions and new ways of having sex, but they bore easily. This style tries anything and everything at least once, and if they like it they do it again.

Expert sex tip: “Use toys on him,” says Milford. Or if you're comfortable, “massage his prostate.” (But make sure you ask him first!) You can use a condom or your finger; just remember to use plenty of lube.

The wild style
He likes it wild and he likes it edgy. He wants kinky and out there sex, and likes to be challenging his own erotic style as well as yours. He will try anything new that pushes his boundaries and doesn't have a lot of fear or shame about sex.

Expert sex tip: “Tie him to the bedpost and take charge, be the dominatrix,” says Milrod. Blindfold him, too, to up the eroticism.

The plain-spoken style
Instead of reaching out to in the dark in bed, he'll just say, as you're brushing your teeth, “Wanna fool around?” He's not high on romance, and you'll rarely be caught guessing. There are no dropped hints or innuendo with this style, if he wants it, he'll ask.

Expert sex tip: “Show him there's nothing wrong with romance by surprising him with sexy lingerie,” says Milrod. “Then he'll be caught guessing.” And when he says that -- tackle him and do it on the bathroom floor!

The impulsive style
Talk about going from zero to 60 -- Mr. Impulse can have sex anywhere, anytime. He sees you and he wants it. He thinks about it and he wants it. This can feel annoying -- like you're dating a horny 17-year-old boy -- but it can feel totally hot! If he wants you, he'll take you, whether it's on the kitchen table, in the bathroom, in the backyard or in his office.

Expert sex tip: “Go to the movies, sit in the way back and make out,” says Milrod. “Then go home and finish it off in the car -- pull it into the garage if you must. But start it in the theater, when he least expects it.”

The coy style
This guy plays more hard to get than Scarlet O'Hara. He might pretend he's not interested and wait for you to make a move, then act reluctant when really, he wants it the whole time. Not that he's a game-player, but he can enjoy the chase… you chasing him.

Expert sex tip: “Just chase him in a way that's exciting,” says Milrod. “Put a pair of your panties in his pocket or laptop case, set the tone for what you want to do to him.”

The out-of-nowhere alpha male style
Sometimes -- not every day -- you'll find a Clark Kent type who by day is all gosh-golly and self-deprecation, but get him in the bedroom and he's Superman.

Expert sex tip: “Play along -- you can be his damsel in distress,” says Milrod.

The visual style
This guy needs a lot of teasing with the eyes first -- he likes to either watch porn, or better yet, watch you undress. Be prepared to have sex with the lights on.

Expert sex tip: “Film yourself with your little Flip or your iPhone -- then watch it and get hot and bothered all over again,” says Milrod. “Become the star of your own porn movie.”

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