Why do men like breasts?

Breasts are nature's original milk jug

What do model train sets and women's breasts have in common? Well, both are intended for children, but it's the fathers that always end up playing with them.

They are nature's original milk jug, mounds of flesh that come in varying shapes and sizes and can be dressed in an endless array of fabrics and designs. They are breasts, and while their design is purely utilitarian, they have been worshipped by cultures around the world since the dawn of time. Whether you know them as sweater kittens, air bags or blouse bunnies, there is no debating that female breasts have unusually prominent place in society. What is the root of men's double-D-fixation? The answer might surprise you.

Men find breasts calming
In a linear world full of hard edges and harder realities, breasts are soft, welcoming and non threatening (kind of like Al Roker). With their obvious connection to breastfeeding, and by extension childhood, breasts remind us of our halcyon days when our mothers protected us from all the world's evils.

Breasts are a symbol of fertility
A-cup or Z-cup, breasts define femininity in the same way that channel surfing and participating in fantasy sports leagues define masculinity. Breasts hint at a woman's ability to nurture and sustain life. They also point to a woman's capacity to breed, as they signal the onset of puberty.

It's a matter of natural selection
According to Charles Darwin and his theory of evolution, we subconsciously select partners who are healthy and appear capable of reproduction - all of which explains why the frail Darwin had so much time to write books rather than go out on dates.
According to his research, men are attracted to bazooms (especially the more shapely variety) because they are indicative of a strong constitution and an ability to further propagate the species. Although reproduction is no longer our top priority, this instinct remains despite centuries of evolution. (much like our own nipples)

Breasts are key in arousing women
Any good lover knows that a woman's breasts are closely connected to her primary libidinal zone. Therefore, another reason we like breasts is that we know if we handle these bikini stuffers properly, we can bring women to a state of heightened sexual arousal. Failing that, we can at least tell our friends we managed to get to second base.