20.10.2007 Social Issues

Would you wed a ‘call girl’?

By John Boakye - The Mirror
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A highly educated man who is also a successful businessman intends marrying a woman of his dreams but friends and family members are protesting, claiming the woman is "loose".

There is also a blockbuster movie called 'Pretty Woman' in which a very handsome multi-millionaire picked a "hooker" to his plush hotel complex and married her.

The decision by some men to marry women perceived to be loose or cheap may be common. But, will you marry a loose woman?

Why do some women become loose?

Most women become loose mainly as a result of poverty. Some really want to work but are forced into loose a lifestyle. When people are poor and lack attention or care, they seek comfort and benefit from the opposite sex by offering sex for some benefits. Studies also show that people who grow up in abusive or broken homes lack emotional comfort and may be predisposed to promiscuous lifestyles.

Some women also lack self-esteem. They see approaches from men as a sign that they are attractive and worthy. They, therefore, give in to many men to build positive self images.

Effects of loose lifestyles

Women with loose lifestyles keep memories of abuse. They tend to lose self-esteem and true friendship. The idea that one can get wealth without really working for it damages self-image. Many lose interest in education and employment. They lose inner direction, strength and good morals. Some are also known to be traumatised and live in constant fear.

Challenges in marrying a loose girl

A loose lifestyle is a taboo in the Ghanaian culture. A woman seen as loose is stigmatised and this may extend to her family, children and children's children. Friends and associates will, therefore, constantly mock her.

Loose women have high risk of sexually-transmitted diseases (STDs). Studies in one of our cities indicated that 80 percent of the prostitutes were HIV positive. It is also extremely difficult to rehabilitate a loose girl into a good wife. Akans say a tsetsefly's head is always stained with a victim's blood. They also say that no matter how well a mentally challenged person is treated, he still has something to frighten kids. Chances are that as a result of her experiences, you may always face ideas, comments and some unacceptable behaviours.

You may have romantic feelings and marry a loose girl. Sooner or later, the emotional feeling goes away and you may be faced with the reality of where you picked her from. You may find it difficult to trust her completely.

There are surely good women who, as a result of circumstances beyond their control, have found themselves in loose lifestyles. Many really want to meet their most important emotional needs by being good wives and mothers. Knowing where they come from and the opportunity they have, some show great love, respect and humility.

You may find a good woman who is loose but is really anxious to quit and settle as a wife. She may share your dreams and values. She may be just the perfect partner for you. It would be necessary to assess your needs and options. You also have to take basic precautions, including a medical examination. If you really love her, damn the consequences and go after her.

If you feel called to redeem a precious life and a rough diamond from abuse, frustration and immorality through marriage, go ahead and be a modern-day prophet. Go where your heart leads you. Love, after all, is what we do to make someone better.

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