Love & Relationship Advice: 6 Months With Her & Still No Sex For Me, Yet I Pay Her Rent

By Chris-Vincent Agyapong Febiri -
Love & Relationship Advice: 6 Months With Her & Still No Sex For Me, Yet I Pay Her Rent
LISTEN NOV 6, 2010

Dear GC,
I have been with my new girlfriend for about 6 months now and we are both in our mid 20′s Before I met her she had 3 previous sexual partners.

According to my girlfriend, she slept with her first 2 boyfriends the same month she met them and the last one in the second month.

My girlfriend says she loves me so much and wants to be with me forever. However, anytime I visit her, I have to sleep on the floor while she sleeps on the bed all because she does not want to make love to me.

I am beginning to feel used since I am providing a lot for her. I am currently paying for her rent since she has lost her Job. I have tried to talk to her about this and she says, It will change oneday and she will give me what I want.

As for when this day will come, I do not know and she will not also say. This is making me so confused, what should I do?

Dear Clement,
It is obvious some of your confusion comes from the fact that your girlfriend has told you the time it took for her to sleep with her previous boyfriends and you are surely wondering why you are there laying on the floor and staring up at the ceiling while she is in the same room as you.

It’s amazing what we do for the ones we love and care for and to some extent there is nothing wrong with this just be careful you don’t find yourself in a situation that puts you at a greater disadvantage.

I can’t necessarily say I speak for all females when I say this but there maybe several sincere reasons why she is ‘holding out on you’. I want to believe that some women who do this are merely trying to make sure you are genuine and are there to stay.

It could be that those other men promised her the world and left when they got what they wanted and now she has decided she wants to learn from her past mistakes. I do feel a woman who holds out the way your girlfriend is tends to mean she does want a life long commitment with you, although a relationship can’t just be on one persons terms.

You should clarify with her what she means by ‘ one day’. Is she waiting for marriage? If so can you handle that? She not being entirely open with you will push you away for all the wrong reasons.

I have said this several times to friends who have also chosen not to have sex with their new boyfriends when they first met. I always say that it is ok but lets be real. Why have the men in your house, in your room and sometimes in your bed while you walk around in your best underwear or amazing purposely skimpy outfits teasing him and driving him crazy with no intention of having sex with him?

From what you say it sounds like you really care for her, after all it’s not every man that would or could loyally wait six months to have sex with his girlfriend for the first time.

Also it is great and generous that you are helping her out with her rent. Just make sure you are doing it because you can and not to score points otherwise if she is using you it will be a very bitter blow.

There really is no way to tell if this is the case and that she is just taking your money so you need to really be vigilant about this after all it’s a new relationship.

I suggest you have to be real with her and set clear boundaries about how long you can help her for. She will respect you for it and know her limits so she does not take advantage and at the same time you are doing right by her.

Hope this helps
Best of luck!
Sassy Chic/ GhanaCelebrities.Com
Send all your relationship & Love  probs to me via [email protected]

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