It's 3am on a Tuesday morning And I still can't sleep, this lockdown has been working on my mind, as hours turn to days and days turns to weeks, still the clock keeps ticking. Time waits for no one, they said. I got up from the bed, trying to distract my mind from roaming the universe so I decided to eat an apple.
Yeah an apple, I'm trying not to add weight while we are waiting. While getting the apple I remembered if we were still in the normal world I should be worrying about what to wear to work, how I'd look, how I need to get my makeup on fleek, and the styling of my wig right, just in case I bumped into Mr Right while going for lunch break.
Yeah I've been thinking about Mr Right lately, even though I tried to caution my mind not to go that far, but I guess the heart has been lonely for too long, tired of not being loved the right way. With the constant reminder from a society that you're supposed to be married to be called a woman, yeah cause I'm a lady now. And I need a man for me to be called a woman. Well let's hope that happens anytime soon.
It took the water dripping out of the fridge to bring me back to reality. A reality, that our transformer has been bad for two weeks now and we are on lockdown, we were advised to stock up yet there's no electricity to preserve what I managed to get.
I try to turn on the generator for four hours every night but it's not enough to frost the fridge. I shook my head in pity, pity for myself and to the rest in the same predicament as I am, who managed to stock up but won't be able to preserve it due to lack of electricity.
I picked up the apple, washed it and walked to the dinning. I really do love Apples in general. Also there's a saying that goes thus, "one apple a day keeps you away from the doctor". As I held the Apple, thoughts of potion came crossing my mind. I started wishing if this Apple could have the power of erasing some part of my memories and making me to forget about it permanently. I mean in a time like this, one could easily say I was wishing it would erase the memory of the entire pandemic and bring us back to a time where things were normal and we could be free to walk without any need of social distancing. But that's not what I meant, for one, I like this whole season, I love how this pandemic is making us to question our entire existence and reshuffling our priorities.
I love the fact that we've been reminded that death is inevitable and we can only live until the universe says otherwise. I love the empathy I'm seeing on the faces of people, how they've gone extra miles to show care to the less privileged. And how we've become more caring as a people. I mean, I've been checking on my friends now, more than I've done in the last five years. And it got me thinking about the Vanity Solomon talked about in the Bible.
I'm glad we are beginning to see things differently, I know this whole thing will be over soon, but I'm sure the lessons will linger for a very long time, if not a lifetime.
I've decided to be more intentional, to live life, to focus on purpose and do everything in line with what my Abba wants.
It's 5am and I still can't sleep. I'm done eating the apple and I didn't get an amnesia, the apple didn't turn to potion.
So I still have these memories, the not so good, not so sweet memories. The ones that make me question my Abba, and wish he could speak more to me in person and give me a direct answer. Those memories are gradually becoming a nightmare and the terror of it is that, this pandemic will soon be over but these memories will forever be a memory.