08.09.2020 Touch Of Thoughts

You Cannot Give What You Do Not Have

By Afua Gyane
You Cannot Give What You Do Not Have
08.09.2020 LISTEN

What do you expect to get when you stretch out your arms? What do you expect to see when you open your eyes to the world around you? What do you expect to hear with each sound that passes by? What do you wish for your heart to be filled with, if you do open it up?

Mostly, as humans, we always expect to behold good things, especially from our surroundings and the people around us. Interestingly, we expect much more from other people than we even expect from ourselves. We are so fixed on what others can give us to satisfy our inner cravings than what we are ready to part with. We crave for love, peace, joy, laughter, empathy and, in fact, all the goodies others can bless us with.

The question is, “How can you give a pot of stone and expect to have gold back? How can you conceive a frog and expect to birth a bird? How can you lay a foundation of sticks and expect a layer of bricks?” This is the sad reality for most of us; a difficult question we battle with daily or even fail to confront. I guess that’s our selfish desire as humans to reap what we have not sown.

The bible does not mince words in trying to explain in Mark 21:31 that, “ You shall love your neighbor as Yourself for there is no commandment greater than this". This commandment brings to light the utmost importance of what lies within us. Simply put, you cannot give what you do not have. You can only give as much as is available to you or you are ready to part with.

This is a life changing principle; one truth that allows us to be responsible for our own energies—positive or negative.

I am tempted to ask, “What lies within you to give? Deposits of love? Stores of peace? Pack of joy? Scores of hatred and jealousy or heaps of beauty filling the pockets of your inner being? What do you have to give?”

How do you often respond to negative situations? If you respond lovingly to such, that’s because you have a lot of love deposits on your inside. On the other hand, if negative situations evoke anger, frustration and abuse, then it is time to take a critical look at yourself. Perhaps you have conceived these negative energies somewhere inside of you.

It is normal to feel justified to fight an arm for an arm and a tooth for a tooth. However, it seems close to impossible to spew hatred when you have none inside of you to give. You could never hurt another intentionally when all you have are deposits of love.

This is the hard truth we must come to terms with; a bitter realization one has to make. Your outlook on life and the energy you give out, thereof, starts from within.

Sometimes, you tend to want to give off all you have. You pour out all your love, joy, peace and laughter just to make everyone else happy and satisfied. You put others first before yourself; the guilt of having to say no to someone or a demand and the fear of being called selfish or self-centred should you put your needs first may force you to simply endure when your energy sources are gradually being depleted through your constant giveaways.

You desperately search for a refill; that sense of entitlement that makes you feel you are worthy of receiving too. Love begets love, they say, and I am pretty much certain this statement could pass for all the other beautiful values and attributes we long for daily.

When you are happy, joyful and peaceful, you have a lot more of such within you to share. However, when you feel angry, bitter, demotivated or unworthy, what good can you possibly pass unto those around you?

Life affords us the chance to love and be loved; to spread the joy, laughter and cheer. However, the most important thing we owe ourselves and the people we love and care about is to ensure we take care of ourselves first. By so doing, we are giving ourselves a life changing opportunity to be refilled in every positive way; only then can we deeply and truely love be compassionate, kind and empathic.

You may need to pull the brakes on craving for positive energy from the wrong people and places. They may never be able to give You what you want. Remember, no one can give you what they do not have themselves. Save yourself the heartache.

The most important thing to do is to be what you want others to be to you. Embrace life, love, happiness and positivity. Radiate the same energy you want from your surroundings. It’s time to ask yourself, “How can I treat my own self so I can be much more, do more and give more?”

The writer is a business consultant and a youth motivator

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