Gravity keeps trying to pull my boobs down, while I keep trying to lift them up.
Old ladies, please wear support bras—hanging breasts past the waistline lack charm. Gravity is not your friend, so try a comfortable brassiere (not to be confused with the word bizarre). Although old boobs are kind of bizarre. Argh! Grannies, give those boobs a boost!
Hold on—my best friend Minerva just yelled out from the bathroom that flabby breasts are a rite of passage. Her dementia is kicking in. “I can’t hear you Minerva, my hearing aid batteries are low.” Ha-ha. I do draw the line at shapewear.
But, if laughter keeps us in shape—then why are my boobs falling below my elbows?
Until we chat again, this old bag declares, “Aging is for cheese and wine—not women.”
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