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Old ladies at the beach

...Old Gal in Yoga Pants

Readers, I come to you with a few important questions. Utmost advice is needed.

Can I wear a snowsuit at the beach instead of a swimsuit? Dare I let my kangaroo pouch and soggy bottom hang out? Dashing to the bathroom takes time, so can I pee in the ocean instead? Probably not proper etiquette.

The beach is paradise to me, but washing sand out of body crevices and wrinkly skin gets more and more difficult. Bigger cracks hold more sand. Do you get my drift? Of course, my body takes a little (a lot) more sunscreen as time rolls along. More sagging cleavage to cover.

But who cares? You’re only old once.

Until we chat again, this old bag declares, “Aging is for cheese and wine—not women.”

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