I understand pain, I understand betrayal, I understand loss. I know what it's like to be hopeless, ashamed, negate of love and feel like no one cares. It's not easy to be hurt and human. I know what it's like to want someone to die so bad, evil thoughts run through my mind, there by the grace of God I've gone, who knows if there wasn't enough to hold me back, what I could have done.
I never see black and white, when emotions are high without justice, empathy, not judgement is what is needed. I've felt enormous pain, struggled and battled enormous obstacles. I stand, and continue to rise. I hope my story, incase you judge, is not one begging for pity, no my story shows courage and defiance with God and grace, one can overcome perilous situations, come out scarred, aching for healing, yet alive and seeking better.
That is my dream for every little child, even those stuck in adult bodies without a clue of growing up in love, to seek better and know despite all they were told, they are giants for facing their obstacles and living, even if in pain, fear, guilt, shame and trauma, to be better.
Signed fellow misunderstood.
To the misunderstood:
I'm learning if they never saw the injustice in what you saw, moving on seems like a little goal post, what you do seems wicked, your inability to forgive over dramatic. Yet I know when pain has seeped into your bones, you are less likely to let your naive love split you up again, again and again. I know your words and actions are your only weapons to disagree with what happened, to ease your soul of the great injustices you perceived no one cared enough to console or right wrongs.
The anger boils, till what, till you open up the rage and throw it back to a society which didn't think you were worthy of healing, tossed you aside, isolated you, thinking you were too small and broken to strike back, till you destroy the linens of everything it holds dear. You don't care though, do you, they rejected you and your pleas. You don't even know and can't comprehend the word mercy.
One day, I hope before it's too late, you will learn to say I'm enough, I'm worth more than the precious life they want to rip out of my hands. Some root for you- find them. I hope you write a better story with your footprints in in the world, than those who did what they did to you, who think only those they hurt, hurt, and that sheds them of their responsibility." (Misunderstood)