1. Learn To Pray.
It is important. It will help you.
2. Learn To Talk To Someone:
It is important for you to gather courage, put away shyness and talk about your Abuse, Fears, Worries, Intimidations, Aspirations and Expectations in life.
Speak to a trusted adult. It could be a parent/guardian, teacher, pastor, or counselor. Cry out for help when you need to. ('Barima nsu' is just a fallacy). Don't keep quiet while you hurt inside. It could be dangerous to your life or future.
3. Be Obedient.
It will help you live long.
4. Take Your Education Seriously As Your Life Depends on it.
It will give you a bright future.
5. Don't Give All Your Attention To Girls. . Don't leave your studies for girls.
I know it's very easy to say this but extremely hard to follow. But don't!
There is time for everything. No responsible girl would want to be with you if you become an irresponsible man in future. Give all your attention to your education and build yourself and your future now.
6. Don't Follow The Crowd.
Be careful who you mingle with. Don't just do anything just because everyone is doing it. Following blindly could land you in serious trouble.
7. Thread Cautiously.
It is not every place you go.
8. Be Careful Who You Associate With.
Some friends can put you in trouble and badly affect your character. You can learn bad habits unconsciously.
9. Be Careful About The Choices You Make.
They can ruin you or make you. Never choose girls, alcohol, smoking, games, etc over your studies, you will regret it in future.
10. Exercise Self Control.
The sexual feelings you have in your body is normal and natural. Distract that feeling with some activities whenever it comes. Don't give it attention. Don't go about looking or harassing for sex. You need to control it or you ruin your life. The right time for sex will come. Sex may seem cool but being a teen father and an irresponsible father isn't.
11. Girls/Women Are Not Sex Objects.
Don't see them as such. They are humans. Respect their feelings. Don't go about harassing them, it is Wrong and Criminal. You could be arrested and jailed, and that could ruin your future.
12. Never Hit Or Abuse A Girl/Woman.
It shows you are Weak and Intolerant. That could land you in serious trouble. Make it a rule that no matter how provoked you get, you will never raise your hand on anyone especially a female.
Be a complete gentleman and stay out of trouble.
13. Be Kind and Respectful.
It is good to be kind and respectful to everyone and anyone. Be good to people. Don't talk back at parents, teachers and other adults. It will help you a lot.
14. Pull Your Pants Up.
No one wants to see your underwear. It makes you look irresponsible, bad and uncouth.
15. Always Look Neat.
Even if you have just 2 clothes, always make sure you are neatly and properly dressed. Boys who dress shabbily are mostly associated with bad happenings. Dressing neatly will boost your confidence level in public. It will earn you respect and dignity.
16. Look People In The Eye/Have A Good Handshake.
It shows you are confident, kind and respectful.
17. Not Trying Isn't Cool.
Try hard in school, in sports, at work and at whatever else you do. It is worth it and will pay off in future.
18. You Need To Work Hard To Earn It.
Life is hard and takes work. No one is going to hand anything to you for free. You need to work and work hard to earn things.
19. Drinking and Smoking Will Destroy Your Life.
Taking alcohol and smoking are harmful to your health and general wellbeing. No matter how smart you are, they will render you useless.
Smoking may seem cool but getting cancer isn't. Drugs may seem cool but getting mental problems isn't. Alcohol can cause long-term damage to your brain.
20. Use The Internet Wisely.
The internet is good and bad at the same time. Good if you use for studies and research, news and general things going on around the world. Bad if you use it for unnecessary things, waste time browsing wrong sites.
21. Social Media Can Make You or Ruin You.
Don't waste too much time on there. Use it for the right purposes, connecting with friends and family, selling products or services, etc. Don't use it for scamming, posting nude and pornographic stuff, writing foul words or insults and lies. Remember the internet doesn't forget. They will come back to hunt you in future.
22. Stop Watching Pornography.
It is not worth it. This will ruin your marriage in future, your life and your ability to enjoy sex when the time right time comes.
23. Have Integrity.
Don't tell lies. Stand for truth and always do the right thing. Sometimes it's hard but it's always worth it. Let your parents, friends, teachers know you for this.
24. Always Look Out For People.
Always look out for younger children, the elderly, girls/women. It shows you are gentle, compassionate and kind. People will love and appreciate you for that.
25. Be A Gentleman. Be polite.
Always talk to people with respect no matter their age, gender or status in life. It will attract good things to you.
26. Be A Real Man.
Real men are Kind, Compassionate, Helpful, Respectful, Responsible, Hardworking and Honest. They fight for truth and justice. They care for those who need help. They work hard.
27. Always Use Please, Thank You, And Sorry.
Always use Please when speaking to adults especially.
Show gratitude by saying thank you when someone does something for you.
Say Sorry when you offend someone. These 3 words will take you places.
28. Be Wise.
Wisdom is the principal (most important) thing. He that is wise respects himself and is safe from others. Stop and Think carefully about every step you take.
29. Know That You Are Already Okay.
Don't just jump on a bandwagon just because you want to fit in. Don't feel pressured by your peers to fit in. You are okay just the way you are.
30. Don't Take Advice/Correction As Hate.
Know that your parents/guardians, teachers, etc love you and want you to succeed in life. Take advice and correction in good faith, they will help shape your future.
"For whom the Lord loves He chastens,
And scourges every son whom He receives.” Hebrews 12:6(NKJV)
Dear BOYCHILD, you are Loved!
Author: Counselor Adutwumwaa
[ ] Executive Director , CONCERN for the BOYCHILD INITIATIVE GHANA (CBCIG)
A wife, mother and a Christian woman who is very passionate about Marital, general relationship and Adolescent issues.
For Counseling and guidance
Email: [email protected]
Call 0276 327444