Family Conflicts: Think Twice Before Yelling At Your Kids

Family conflict is caused by a variety of events. Any changes in the family structure or daily routine can cause conflict. Some family conflict is caused by one relative thinking primarily of himself or herself rather than the needs of the family in general. Conflict generally comes in two forms

Minor conflict
The following are sources of minor conflict;
Arguments with siblings
Disagreements with siblings are frequently minor conflicts and are quickly forgotten. As parents, you must recognize that conflict will exist between siblings. For instance, your daughter might fight her brother or sister because he prodded her or said harsh words to her. Sisters may even argue about whose turn it is to wash the dishes or cook. Most at times, these conflicts are settled by siblings themselves.

Disagreements with parents
Am sure you know by now that sometimes, your kids pick up an argument with you. Probably they argue about the way they like to dye their hair or wear their clothes which you disapprove. In older ages, they will argue with you about more challenge decisions such as marriage goals, finances, and so many others. Moving to a new house or changing schools may cause conflict because of events upset children’s accustomed ways of doing things. Changing schools would mean they would have to get used to new buildings, new class, new teachers and new friends. Conflict over grades often arises. Parents, of course, expect their children to get good grades. Children when younger do not see the advantage of getting good grades until they are older. Most of the conflict may be resolved within the home.

Major conflicts
This conflicts cuts across the birth or adoption of a new sibling, loss of a loved one, the remarriage of parents, abuse of alcohol, severe death in the family or even sexual abuse. Of course, some of these vents may cause little family conflict usually families need help to cope with problems caused by divorce, drugs, sexual abuse of violence. Some teenagers become upset with families they leave home to live on their own. These teenage runaways may leave their family problems behind, but they encounter serious problems in the home. Runways are extremely vulnerable to adults who wish to take advantage of them.

How to positively respond to family conflicts

Families are usually successful in resolving problems if they respond to their activities in a productive way. Productive response to conflict includes identifying the real issue and communicating effectively with family members

Identifying the real issue
One of the difficulties in dealing with family conflict is that the real issues are frequently not recognized or admitted. For example; if you and your son/daughter frequently fight about his/ her messy room, the real issue might not be whether they leave their things all over the floor, instead, the real issue might be that you are really having a hard time realizing that your power of their behavior is limited. Your kids might be trying to assert their autonomy. If dad agrees with his son/daughter about the time he wants them to come home, the real issue may be trusted.

The truth is if you identify the real issue being any conflict, then you may be able to resolve it. By talking about the real issue, you can come to a better understanding of the other’s point of view and begin compromising on a solution. As parents you have to identify the real issue here, it could be any of the following:

• Power
• Autonomy
• Separation
• Trust
• Competition
• Privacy

Here is how to resolve this conflict in the home

Openness through effective communication is key

As in all relationship, communication is the best way to tackle every family or relationship problem. The accompanying suggestions will enable you to speak with family members subsequent identifying the real issue

Pick the ideal time and place to talk
When your child is caught up with preparing and studying for a test the next day, or a gathering to visit, you may need to likely defer the talk of yesterday's quarrel over their hairdo, or messy room for a for a more appropriate time

Remain focused on the issue at hand
Try not to raise past differences as this may just compound the case. it critical that you address the astoundingly and make an effort not to bring them up. Mounting every one of their imperfections for a day to spill everything out probably won't be suitable. Make an effort not to occupy the other individual with an irrelevant question regarding something that happened 6 months or last Christmas as this may only anger the child even more.

Try to avoid panicking
Yelling, shouting or nagging won't do any great as you will just pave way for them to holler back at you which could be exceptionally ill-bred. Try not to give your kids space to disrespect you by leaving the room. Attempt as much as you can to be quiet while tending to the issue. You could take them out to a restaurant or their most loved park to talk. Be that as it may, let them know why you are taking them there- to talk. That why, they realize you are worried about something. Avoid mockery, nasty allegations and threats punishments.

KISS-Keep It Simple and Short
Its vital you plainly convey your sentiments and your thoughts. Tell them how you felt about behavior or reaction to an issue. Endeavor to use "I" to discuss your emotions and not how they affected you. Don’t feel too proud to apologize when they tell you how your reaction affected them too. Keep it simple and short to avoid a nice conversation from turning into another argument.

In sum, keep in mind that families endure forever, and therefore you would need to have an enduring relationship with your children. Try not to let momentary disagreements impede your relationship with them.

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