This Woman Has Suffered Romance Fraud Twice In Ghana; Now She Shares Her Story To Smarten Women Up

Romance fraud is a thing and it happens not only to rich old ladies in the West, but unfortunately, there are men/women in Ghana who do same to women/men right here; they declare their undying love, promise to marry them and swindle them out of huge sums of money.

Sadly, I fell victim to this twice. The 1st lasted 7 years and I lost enough money to buy land in a good neighbourhood and put up a decent 2 bedroom house (imagine that money had been invested). The 2nd lasted 2 months and I lost GHS1,000. I don’t know whether the 2nd turned out the way he did cos I told him what the 1st did and it gave him ideas, or he came with his own plan.

After the 2nd, I was convinced there was either something wrong with me or I was just imagining stuff. I thought, these are nice guys, why would I think this of them, until the 2nd sent me a text message asking for my forgiveness a year after what I had with him had ended. He said in the message that he lied to me, he never loved me and that I am a good woman and didn’t deserve to be treated the way he treated me. He acknowledged that he owes me and would pay back. It’s been 3 months since he sent the message and I am yet to receive a pesewa from him, but at least I know I didn’t imagine what I knew was being done to me.

The reason the 2nd lasted only 2 months was, after my experience with the 1st, I saw the signs and I didn’t wait for this one to take from me money that could be used to buy a car. I just run.

The 1st, 3 years after what we had had ended, maintains he doesn’t owe me, not even for money he collected in the name of loans to do business with, not even for savings we had together (well, it was actually all my money). What happened was, the 1st told me that it was a good idea to have dollars stashed away and convinced me to buy some dollars his brother in the US had sent down to family in Ghana. So, I bought the dollars, he however kept it. When I ended the relationship, the first thing I asked for was the dollars. He came out and told me he has no dollars.

I contacted him 3 years after I’d left thinking (hoping) it might not have been his intention to dupe me, and he needed time to put himself together and pay me. How wrong I was. He still says he owes me no money. Then I thought, ok, if he is being difficult, let me contact his sister. She might help since she was so nice to me when we were together. Again, how wrong I was. The sister said 3 things to me that had me wondering what she would have told this person talking to me (herself) had she been my sister.

She said:
1. “I hope you have learnt your lesson”. I’m thinking, “why, your brother is into teaching women lessons?”

2. “I would never do such a thing”. I’m thinking, “good for you, you are so smart, but wait, my mum too is smart cos she told me to stop seeing him. Let’s hope your daughter obeys her mummy always.”

3. “well, I don’t know the arrangement you had with my brother, but it’s possible that while you handled the finances, he handled other things”. I couldn’t help it; I had to ask what other things. Then she said, “well, he spent his time and energy in the relationship”. All I could say was, “wow!” Then I thought, “is another woman really saying this to me?” I guess I must have been having an out of body experience like Enyo Afua put it, while her brother spent his time and energy.

Who was first to say, "women are their own enemies"? I wanna give them a high five.

I mentioned in an earlier post about the abuse I suffered in the 1st. Yeah, I’d say all the different types. Physical, emotional, psychological, mental, all of it. Yeah, I got beat up cos I got frustrated and threw the first punch. Not only did I get beat up by him a couple of times cos I threw the first punch or cos I broke his phone, but one of his side pieces beat me up, not once. Thing is, though I am so tiny, I have such a loud mouth, and while I am busy fighting verbally thinking I got all the words to knock my opponent out, my opponent won’t waste time with words when they got fists.

Or maybe I was the side piece and this woman the main chica? Does it even matter?

I know I’m making light of this bit, but it’s the only way I can deal with that happened to me. I’ll give an example of how it was. So, the weekday arrangement was, I’d pick him up from home, he takes over the driving, goes to his office first cos he had to clock in, drop me off at my office, and takes my car, then I find my way home either by begging for a lift or I take public transport. So, on one weekday, we get to his office, he clocks in and we are heading to my office, when another side piece of his he works with shows up and decides to wave at him. He waves back. Of course I knew what the girl wanted to achieve. It worked cos I got upset, got hysterical, threw a couple of punches all of which he blocked. He continued in the direction my office, but made a detour to some quiet street, parked the car and asked me to take my spectacles off. I’m like, “huh!” He repeats, “take your spectacles off” and adds, “so I can beat you”. I’m thinking this guy can’t be serious, but I take my spectacles off anyways and he slams my head into the dashboard. I’m like, actually, I’m too stunned to be like anything. He does that a couple of times, slaps me across the face, then apologises telling me it was my fault cos I hit him first and that for him if you hit him, he will beat you, that he has even done it to his mother before. This is true cos he has shown me a mark he left on his mother’s face when she once tried to discipline him. I guess whoever said if you want to know how a man will treat you, see how he treats his mother knew what they were saying.

I must give it up for the 1st. He was kind enough not to break up with me. He even went all the way to do knocking. Knocking that my mum wanted no part of cos she knew what this guy was, but I wouldn’t listen. Me and the 1st both lived in Dansoman, but we both left Dansoman to Mile 7 for the knocking to be done in my uncle’s house. My mum didn’t want him or his family anywhere near her house. Now, I’m wondering if I should have returned the schnapps after the breakup.

So, I was saying how kind he was not to break up with me. After taking so much money from me, he and his friend chased me out of the relationship. How did they do that? Well, they got me wondering whether or not they are gay. If he really is gay and it wasn’t an act, well, I wish them well.

Out of no where, about 5 years into the relationship, a friend of his surfaced who needed to spend every waking moment with 1st. Either it’s a sleepover (he did that like every weekend), or they were going out attending functions together. The sleepover and going out didn’t bother me too much.

It was the friend who decided how me and 1st spent our time together; that is what annoyed me. For example, me and 1st want to go watch a movie. His friend objects saying if we do the movie, me and 1st have each other, what about him. He’ll just sit alone in the theatre. So, friend vetos the watching movie idea and he and 1st go hang out in a pub. I go home cos hanging out in a pub is not my thing. Friend had veto power in our relationship. That didn’t get to me enough cos I still stayed. Not even when friend stole a gold bracelet 1st had placed in my car and 1st blamed me for misplacing the bracelet. That didn’t get me to leave. Come to think of it, the side pieces and abuse didn’t get me to leave either.

What got me to leave was waking up one morning to see 1st had used a picture of friend as his dp on WhatsApp. That was the proverbial last straw that broke the camel’s back.

Monueli Folley so, this is romance fraud.
Andrew Tandoh Adote , yes, I do feel free after sharing, and if this helps one person, it would be worth it.

Mimi Mandrakes Lois Aba Mensah , I did promise a “tell all”, a blow by blow account of how things went, but honestly, though I feel free after sharing, the process of typing has me remembering stuff I want to forget, and either I am crying buckets or I get so upset I can literally feel my bp rise. This guy has taken enough from me; I won’t let him take my life too, so this is the last I’ll write of this. Or maybe I’ll take Dennis Brook 's advice and put the full story in a book.

Enyo Afua and this is just a tip of the iceberg. You do know a little more like when I got a scholarship to study in Canada and he asked that I send my living allowance via Western Union to him to save for me. At that time, we were barely a year into the relationship and I thought he was crazy! Heck! I thought dude must be on something to suggest I send him my scholarship money.

I didn’t. If only I’d kept thinking that way.

Anyways, even this is not everything. I remember buying him a brand new, tear rubber motorcycle to start okada business. The deal was, I buy the bike, he gets someone to ride, from the sales the person makes, he pays me for the bike. The rider messed him up, he collected the bike and gave to a friend. I never got a pesewa for the bike.

Ok, so now, I’m done remembering.
It is only by the grace of God I am alive and still sane. Everyday God blesses me with the gift of life, I don’t forget to give Him thanks and I know each day is an opportunity to make a fresh start.

#saynotoromancefraud