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10.05.2018 Health & Fitness

Don’t Stop Living When You Marry

By Lois Impact Osae Badiako
Photo credit - ShutterstockPhoto credit - Shutterstock
10.05.2018 LISTEN

Marriage is a unique institution established by God. It was never an idea of man or cultures or religion or tradition. It’s a divine establishment which must be seen and respected as such. If you are married, don’t see it as just a choice made by you and your spouse but rather as an orchestration by God so you establish his will in your union.

Dear wife, when when you marry, don’t end your life. A lot of times, you hear people speak against marriage as a cage for women not to excel in life because they see most ladies marry and give up on their dreams and life generally. It’s not supposed to be so. Marriage is not designed to kill your dreams or desires or aspirations, but rather to strengthen you achieve your plans and purposes since two are definitely better than one.

As a woman, when you marry don’t stop progressing. Don’t stop learning and don’t stop being you. You need to ensure that you add unto your life, and increase in every aspect of your life whilst you let go things that will not make you progress. Marriage means, you have a life partner to think through stuff with, to discuss issues with and to learn so much from. If you love outdoor, music, church activities etc you shouldn’t let it die out because you married. You must excel in all these areas. Intellectually, professionally etc. when you marry, you must reach higher heights in every aspect of your life.

If doing this, you need to be mindful of your partner as well. You must understand that your are no longer single but have been joined spiritually and physically to another so your decisions and choices must be thoroughly discussed for you to be on the same page. Most of the time, issues arise when wives don’t recognize they are married and would still want to make decisions alone especially when it affects your spouse. You need to communicate your plans and intentions so that your husband can make input and the two of you can agree on how to go about it.

For instance, if you want to take some more courses to further your education, as a wife, you can’t just come home and announce that from next week you will be coming home after 11pm because you’ve got admission to study etc. It doesn’t work that way, since it’s a major decision which will affect your home, you need to discusss it with your husband so the two of you agree on how things will be done to ensure a smooth relationship. There’s nothing wrong with discussing your plans and getting input from your spouse on how to implement them. If you live with your parents, you would not just get up and make major changes to your life without involving them, why should it be any different from your husband.

As a wife, you are no longer an individual. Your home and relationship is priority in the marriage not your desires. Your husband is your leader, so you need to ensure that your desires will not destroy what you have come together to achieve. Discussions should always be geared towards what will be best for your family. Sometimes, you need to make certain sacrifices to ensure your family is happy and safe.

In doing this, don’t stop progressing. You need to plan your schedule well. You can do so much with your life in each day. You can be a good wife, mother, and business leader and still have time to read novels and go for a leisure walk. It’s very possible. You just need to plan. Cut out time wasters. Don’t spend time doing unnecessary things or engaging in fruitless ventures. I listened to an interview of the MD of UBA Ghana and she said “even as I sit with you I know all the food in my freezer. I cook over the weekends and ensure I stock up food items at home, because I’m a busy woman”. That’s a powerful woman, who isn’t neglecting an aspect of her life to progress at another aspect. It all comes down to planning. Get a planner. With your phone you can even schedule how your week will be. When you plan well, you will realize you have time on your hands to do so much more for yourself. If you fail to plan, you will realize you can’t have a hand on your life and that is when you let go of your self and become static. It’s all about planning. There’s so much you can study on the internet now. There’s no limit to upgrading your knowledge in today’s world. Just resolve in your heart that you are going to excel in all areas of your life and work towards it. Get a kick in your life and come alive! Live life to the fullest.

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